A Zoomerfuffle

WARNING: this blog is WAY longer than it needs to be. But we’re out of practice…

Well blogaroos, it’s been….a LONG time. In fact, it was last year when I last wrote.

For those who started following us back in really ancient times- like 2014 – you’ll recall that our household was made up of one human (the Warden) and three canine inmates. The joke was that they were prisoners – but clearly if you read the blog for any amount of time, you quickly realized that they were in fact sometimes referred to as the REAL Three Kings- and THEY ruled the household.

Over the years the cast of characters changed – it started with Paxton the Bernese Mountain Dog (affectionately known as Bucket Head), Frodo (the Polish Lowland mafia Boss) and Viktor , Frodo’s younger brother – whose antics were the catalyst for starting the blog in the first place. When Paxton left us for the Rainbow Bridge, Elroy (also known as the FG – Friendly Giant, the Coyote and a host of other names which cannot be printed here) joined the circus.

Sadly, the blog’s namesake left his earthly palace way too soon – and that’s when yours truly joined the Stooges – during the height of COVID. I’m kinda lucky – everything I do wrong can be blamed on the fact that I’m a “pandemic puppy.” Not crazy about strangers? I’m a pandemic puppy. Don’t like repairmen? I’m a pandemic puppy. Don’t like to eat lettuce? I’m a pandemic puppy. OK. I suppose that’s stretching the virus thing a bit much.

So we happily lived as three Stooges/Kings/ Tenors – with Frodo as the choir master for a number of years. Then suddenly, the Boss was gone. The house was a lot quieter. Then the Coyote got sick – and didn’t feel like himself for two years. When our play times disappeared…well it was time for him to finally run loose with the other guys. Which left me. All alone. All by myself.

OK. OK. The Warden has gone into overdrive entertaining yours truly. We go for lots of walks, play lots of games, do lots of training, go on adventures, eat junk food together (that’s a story in itself), and play endless games of fetch. But despite the Warden’s supreme efforts to keep me happy – I DO crave canine companionship. Which has unfortunately recently caused a bit of a zoomerfuffle. (That’s a combination of the zoomies and a kerfuffle.). You see, I have decided to find my OWN canine companionship….

For those who remember WAY back, we once had neighbors who had both cats and a very nice Labrador Retriever. And on occasion, the canines from this asylum would escape and go to visit said neighbors.

Fast forward a few years, and those neighbors have moved away. They probably got tired of three dogs running through their vegetable garden – looking for cats. Anyway – we have new neighbors. And they have not one, not two, but THREE LITTLE dogs. When I first met them I stood frozen while these little fuzzy things stood on their hind legs (which didn’t even reach my back) and examined me like I was some kind of giant. The Warden was a bit nervous about me playing with them for fear I would squish them. But not to worry – they are WAY too fast for me. In fact, I have nicknamed them “the squirrels.”

Well all has been fine when I have gone on the occasional walk with the squirrels. Everyone gets along well and everyone gets great exercise – especially me.

But then SOMETHING happened about two weeks ago….

The squirrels include two boys, and one girl. Her name is Cocoa.

Now Cocoa has reportedly been “fixed.” I didn’t know she was broken – she seems fine to me. In fact, I think she’s VERY fine. The squirrels paid a short visit last week – and let me tell you- I was suddenly smitten with Cocoa. I could NOT leave her alone. The Warden had to put me in the house as I forgot all manners. It’s because I’m a pandemic puppy.

Who knew that visit was actually foreshadowing….

Two days later, the Warden had been out for the afternoon with her old friend Joanie – who was visiting from out of town. When they returned, yours truly was thrilled to see them. AND I was thrilled because it was supper time. The Warden let me out front to pee – and she saw me staring in the distance – toward the home of the squirrels. She called to me and I ran in, because I knew supper was waiting.

I ate my meal and while the Warden and Joanie were chatting, I went in the backyard. But I seemed to be gone a long time. The Warden looked out and realized she had left the gate open after mowing the lawn the day before. She could hear the squirrels barking in the distance – so she figured out where I was. She called my name. Repeatedly. What a waste of breath.

She ran up our driveway, down the road and down the driveway of the squirrels. And sure enough – there was yours truly in a total zoomerfuffle. I didn’t know which way to go- and my brain was exploding. I was PARTICULARLY interested in Cocoa. The owner of the squirrels couldn’t catch me because I had no collar on. I raced past the Warden – but I’m here to tell you, dogs with long coats are at a disadvantage when it comes to abduction. She got me by the hair. Busted.

The owner of the squirrels wasn’t the least bit concerned about my lovestruck behavior- but he just didn’t want me running back up the driveway and onto the road. He offered to drive me and the Warden back home- but the Warden said she had me under control. Ever see one of those old movies when a kid is lifted by his suspenders, or pulled home by his ear? Well that was yours truly – she had a firm hold on my coat at my neck. And she dragged me home. I didn’t complain or squeal because a. I’m tough as nails and it didn’t hurt and b. I KNEW how mad she was. OK. OK. I did hear her calling and I should have come home – but I was answering the Call of the Wild.

Joanie met us as we marched down our long driveway. We were about 30 feet from the front door. The Warden’s heart was beginning to slow down, and she caught her breath. And since the zoomerfuffle was over, she decided to let me go. She figured I would run to the door. But no. I’m a pandemic puppy. I zipped around some bushes in our yard and hightailed it back through the woods to my girlfriend’s house.

This story is a LOT longer than we intended – so we’ll cut to the chase. I’m still alive. The thing that saved me was the fact that when I went on my second visit, the squirrels had already gone inside. So THIS time when I saw the Warden marching down the driveway, I happily ran to see her. And lucky for me- she had a collar and leash.

I have noted that both gates in the yard have now been secured with bungee cords. But the Warden said something about the Boss chewing through 6 bungee cords once- so she’s going to have to look at something more secure. We’re talking total lockdown. Whenever I hear the squirrels outside, I squeak. The Warden isn’t impressed.

I think this whole need for canine companionship could simply be solved by getting a new inmate. The Warden said I just need to be patient. Here’s a little secret – Polish Lowland Sheepdog pandemic puppies are NOT patient. And if we have a problem, we WILL figure out a solution. Whatever way we choose….

So that’s the updates from our corner of the world. We’ll skip the stories of my unsuccessful obedience trials. When I’m on – I’m on. And when I’m not – well I’m a pandemic puppy.

We hope everyone reading this is having a wagging good year. I don’t want to point out that it’s almost half over!!! That’s 3.5 years in dog years!! Yikes!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up! Stay safe – and out of zoomerfuffles.