ZOOM ZOOM

Greetings blog aficionados. Frodo here for your Sunday funnies. Because, let’s face it, we ARE a rather comical crew…

First off, I am here to report that the First ever International ZOOM PONversation was a ponormous success. I watched and listened to the entire thing – while pretending to be asleep. I didn’t make an appearance at the meeting, simply because Her Highness had no treats on her person – and I refuse to perform on video without compensation. It’s not in my contract.

But back to the meeting- there were participants from across the US and the UK, and from Finland, Poland and Canada. Everyone shared their PON stories – and tales ranged from heartbreaking to heartwarming and every single one was heartfelt. I am pleased to know that yours truly is NOT the only talkative PON on the planet. And most PONs across the globe do share a hearty appetite. The line was drawn at about 50-50 when it comes to swimming and water – but again I was pleased to know that I am not alone in my aversion of puddles and damp environments.

There appeared to be a fair amount of laughter throughout the meeting – and the phrase “misery loves company” sometimes came to mind.

Many PONs did agree to appear on camera – and the Imp was no exception. What the participants did not know was that when he was not on camera, he was either chewing Her Highness’s fingers – or attempting to steal her slippers. He also ALMOST got into fisticuffs with the Coyote under the table when Her Highness was petting the Coyote instead of him. She was casually separating them without making too much movement so as not to disturb the meeting.

Her Highness was thrilled to meet this international group of PON lovers, and I believe this may be the start of somewhat regularly scheduled “gatherings.” It definitely was the start of new friendships. While COVID was a dreadful plague, one good thing it fostered was the use of technology- which allows people to meet “face to face” without actually being in the same place. There seemed to be no major technological glitches – so, from my point of view I think it went swimmingly. I take that back. Me? Swimming? We know that’s not correct. I should say the PONversation went brilliantly. I look forward to observing the next one. And perhaps I’ll consider an appearance next time.

In other less joyful news, yours truly found himself in the proverbial dog house the other day. And I am still “pleading the 5th” so as not to incriminate myself…

You see, each day, we take our jaunt to the lake. The Imp is flying free through the woods at warp speed, the Coyote is on leash, and yours truly is generally following 2-6 feet behind Her Highness. Sometimes I will choose to go ahead of her, but generally I stay at the end of the parade.

Recently, when we had some slushy weather, I was reluctant about going on the trek. Her Highness said I could just wait by the door, and I did for a minute or two – but then ran to catch up with the parade so as not to miss any treats. She ALWAYS carries treats on walks-so how could I possibly miss out. I quickly caught up with the wagon train.

The day before yesterday, the ground was relatively manageable- some patches of snow and generally frozen ground – so not too “messy.” Her Highness did not think I would find the conditions unreasonable, but noted I was lagging a bit on the front lawn. She called to me – but she continued to be dragged along by the Coyote. The Imp was off chasing rabbits. Or something.

When they got half way to the lake, Her Highness called to me again. No sign of me- but she continued on. They reached the lake – at which point she said to the other two “we must go find Frodo.” She started to turn the corner in our loop back to the house, when the Imp stopped. He heard something. It was yours truly trotting along. Her Highness was happy to see I was about to join the gang, when she suddenly got a look at my face. Now we all know what a muddy dog looks like. Brown and mucky. But that was not me. No – my face- my muzzle and my charming beard were not muddy – they were black. JET BLACK. CARBON JET BLACK. EBONY CARBON JET BLACK. She looked at me and shouted “WHAT in the name of heaven have YOU been into!?” As if she expected me to explain myself. I just smacked my charcoal colored lips. “Eeeeeeeeeew” she said – “eat some snow or something!” Again I smacked my onyx choppers. I looked so horrid, she couldn’t even bear to take a photo.

Our return to the house now looked more like a military march than a parade. We got back to the fenced yard and she released the Coyote. And then – she put the leash on me. It was at this point that I began to rethink my earlier indiscretion. She put the other boys in the house and marched me out to the front yard – hoping I might return to the scene of the crime – so she could see what I had clearly been eating. But surely she knows I’m smarter than that. As if I would point out the source of my obsidian face. I stood and stared at her. She marched me into the front hall and then took a detour to the garage. There was no point in attempting to run or protest – I was still on leash. In one swift movement, she plopped me into the dog tub – and the last thing I remember was smelling soap.

Yesterday when we went out, she INSISTED I walk ahead of her. She was keeping an eye on me – and watching for the source of my midnight expression. I wasn’t giving out any clues…It’s my dark little secret.

And just think – I’m the “good dog” in the household….It’s fortunate that we are meeting PONs around the world. I shall have excellent places to visit when I’m deported from my home for bad behavior. But I jest – we all know I would be the last to be shipped out. At least I think I would be….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.