Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

Never laugh at us…

November 4, 2014Leave a Comment

Never laugh at us. Seriously. It just eggs us on….

OK, so I have now been allowed in the DFZ (“dog free zone”) – when my human is in there. Yesterday morning, she went in to get her laptop -before she was going to work. So Frodo and I followed her through the gate and made ourselves at home. She unplugged her laptop and said “OK boys – you need to get out of here.” You see – being in the DFZ when she is around is one thing – being in there on our own – well – the temptation to sample pillows and hooked rugs MAY be a bit too much.

So Frodo follows her out. Not me. I just stay on the hooked rug in front of the fireplace. Like I am posing for a calendar page. And I stare. So my human says, “Viktor – come on – let’s go.” And I stay there and stare. Like I am in a trance and can’t move. Of course I CAN move – but I LIKE it here. Now my human says louder “VIKTOR – let’s go.” And I stay there and stare. Now my human comes over and takes me by the collar. And I go limp. At which point SHE makes the supreme error. She laughs. “Come ON Viktor,” she says – and tries to lift my body under my front legs. And I REALLY go limp. At which point SHE laughs more. So now we have this laughing woman (ready for work, dressed in a black dress– which is just a TOTAL dog hair magnet) tugging at this limp 50 lb dog whose back legs will NOT support him – even as she tries to stand him up.

After several minutes of laughing and tugging – she FINALLY gets serious – as she is going to be late for work. “OK. Enough.” she says. At which point I happily stand up, shake myself off – and RACE out of the DFZ.

Moral of the story: never laugh at us. Or you WILL suffer the consequences : ) Ah… the joys of training humans.

PON -1. Human – 0.

November 3, 20141 Comment

OK. You are NOT going to believe this! Remember my blog about the “dog free zone” and the baby gate? And how Frodo was allowed in when our human was in there? Well GUESS what?! I was allowed IN the other night. IF I promised to behave – no getting on the furniture, no racing around, no chewing pillows or rugs…Basically I had to act like I was dead. It took everything in my power to STAY calm. And it worked. I was good. I lay down and even fell asleep.

The next night, I was a bit “over the top” so my visit was not long. Jumping up and down on the couch was not a bright idea.

What’s IRONIC is that my human THINKS she is training me. Bwhahahahaha. Trust me – it’s the other way around. Remember – give us an inch. The photo you see is me on one of the wingback chairs in the “dog free zone.” So much for the “no getting on the furniture” rule. Broken. Already. Score: PON – 1. Human -0.

Next mission: get Paxton IN. And we WILL. Might as well get rid of that baby gate – we’re taking over. But then we always WERE in charge…

Pooping in the rain. Or not.

November 2, 2014Leave a Comment

Well we know that Frodo does NOT like the rain – and he has told me that I should not like rain either – so I don’t. The truth be told, I REALLY don’t mind the rain – but he IS my older brother so I do as he does. But not everything that he does…

We have already talked previously about our “funeral march” in the rain – and we have talked about pooping. Today we’ll talk about both. Pooping in the rain. Because Frodo will not do it.

Yesterday morning we allowed our human to sleep in until 6:45 – because it was Saturday. Pretty generous of us, I’d say. Anyway, we were all ready to go out, our human opened the door – and it was raining. So she went to get the dreaded raincoats. Now we all know I don’t mind mine – but Frodo is NOT fond of his ill-fitting, 70’s style plaid coat. Actually the words “not fond of” are putting it lightly. He hates it. But my human managed to put it on him anyway. She opened the front door – and normally we bound out. Not Frodo. He quickly sat down as close to the door as he could – so he wouldn’t get wet. Personally, I thought it was a BIT dramatic – it wasn’t raining THAT hard.

But my human is not deterred by such behavior. We had a mission – our morning walk. And our morning poop. I wasn’t thrilled with the rain, but I know the drill so I make the most of it. There’s still lots to smell and see, so I’m fine with the walk. And I’m happy to poop as I normally do. No big deal.

Not Frodo. He REALLY walks like someone has just murdered his best friend. On a nice day – we are walking out ahead of our human. Often pulling. Yesterday, Frodo was paces behind our human. We walked all the way down the road. Slowly. VERY slowly. And Frodo would not poop. We walked back home. And Frodo would not poop. As I already explained in a previous blog about pooping – you humans are kind of obsessed with our poop. You know when we go, where we go and watch for how we go. So my human KNEW that Frodo needed to poop – as he hadn’t gone since the previous morning. And he goes EVERY morning. BUT – it was raining. And Frodo does not poop in the rain. And my human can’t figure out if it is REALLY the rain – or the raincoat. She has been known to pull off the raincoat – just to see if that will work. Sometimes it does. And sometimes I doesn’t. It kind of drives her crazy. She must have said “Hurry up” a hundred times – and Frodo just looked at her with contempt. So back we go – up the road again.

On rainy days, we don’t take the wooded trail on our walk – as it is too muddy. But my human figured we were already pretty wet – even WITH the coats on – so what’s a little mud added to the mix? I was thrilled as I DO like the trail – even in the rain. Frodo was furious. I mean we not only have rain – BUT now we also we have muddy PUDDLES. About 10 seconds into the trail, Frodo stopped and pooped. You would have though our human just won the lottery. Frodo completely ignored her – it was as if he had been defeated in his poop-holding mission.

Frodo figured we would now get to go home – but little did he know our human was going to continue on the trail as it loops back to the house. Frodo wanted to go back via the road – as there are no puddles on the road. He TOTALLY put on the brakes when he realized what route she had chosen.

Long story short – our human won the battle – this time. Frodo pooped and we completed the muddy route. Then when we got home, our human got to do it all again – with Paxton. But remember – he’s the “Power Pooper” – so despite the rain, that was a very easy walk.

By the time our human finished the two walks, and dried us off, she sighed that half the morning was gone! And Frodo was still grumbling about the whole fiasco. Personally, I thought the whole thing was pretty funny. Oh, don’t we canines make life interesting?!!!

Turn the clock back?

November 1, 2014Leave a Comment

Well well. Another interesting human idea. Tonight we go to bed – and before we do, our human will turn back the clock. Which MEANS she is going to TRY and get an extra hour of sleep tomorrow. Not if we can help it.

Do you REALLY think that we are going to lounge around for an extra hour?! We have things to do! There will be an extra hour to play fetch. And to chew our bones. And maybe since the day will be longer, we can get an extra treat break. Heck, I think a whole extra MEAL should be in order – we will be hungrier with a LONGER day. I think an additional walk should also be in order. I do NOT think however, that the extra time should be spent in grooming. I’m pretty sure that in the new “dog rules” I have been working on, that additional daylight hours include extra grooming.

I’m pretty excited about this whole process. Maybe we can even go on a trip! England? Greece? Well, I SUPPOSE that is stretching the extra time a bit – maybe a ride to the grocery store.

Maybe this time change thing will work out OK. But WAAAAAAAIIIIIIT a minute. Does that mean it is going to get darker, earlier?! How will I see where my toys are when we are retrieving – and it is dark out?! Hmmmmmm…….It looks like we will be having countless nights of indoor “Find the Bunny” ahead of us…

Happy Halloween!

October 31, 20141 Comment

Happy Halloween! I let Frodo be the main picture today – since he looks so cute. You can scroll down to see me. Frodo did the photo under duress. Well not REALLY duress – but with the promise of biscuits. Humans love to dress up us canines for Halloween. As if we care.

Anyway, it’s here. The day when we anxiously await the costume clad trick-or-treaters – who never arrive. But not to worry – we have PLENTY of treats JUST IN CASE someone does come.

So why don’t we get any treaters? Well, it could be because we live on a dead end country road. And our driveway is so long – you can’t see the house from the road. So combine a long, dark driveway with our riotous barking – and well, our property is like something out of a scene from Hound of the Baskervilles. Add to that two pumpkins which our human purchased too early in the season – and are now beginning to rot and have taken on a whole new shape – and you have a pretty scary house. If I were a kid, I wouldn’t come here.

Occasionally we DO get kids whose parents drive them down our driveway to the house. And then we have to be sequestered while our human doles out the treats. We used to wear cute bandanas while we waited – but then Paxton and I tried to rip them off each other – so now our costume wearing is limited to a few obligatory photos before Halloween.

Our human continues to buy the treats – as I said – just in case. Of course she buys things SHE likes. I don’t see her buying dog treats. Or candy she DOESN’T like. Then she’ll complain that she has eaten them all – and her pants are fitting too tightly. Humans.

Anyway, it IS a fun day for kids. And there are no doubt some adults who also enjoy the day – either eating the leftover treats – or stealing from their kids. We canines just observe the whole ritual and remind our humans that THEY always say it’s not polite to beg. Tsk. Tsk. Anyway. Gotta go try on my mask. This year, I’m actually dressing as a human. Pretty scary!

Goodboy. Not.

October 29, 2014Leave a Comment

Well. I hate to admit it…but I didn’t live up to my new name of “Goodboy” yesterday…

So. My human got home and let us out for a quick pee before supper. During that daily ritual, we all EXPLODE out the door – in a riotous FIT of barking. Why? We don’t know. We just do it.

After peeing, we RACE back in the house because we know we will be fed. Yesterday, we relaxed for a bit after eating and then our human announced that we were all going to go for a run around the back perimeter of our property, which is a couple of acres. Except Pax. He had to stay on a leash because my human didn’t want him going in the lake. No worries about Frodo and I doing that.

So off we all went. Our human wanted us to get some exercise because she had to go to a “kennel club” meeting last night. Don’t get me started about that. What’s with this thing of having a KENNEL CLUB meeting – and dogs don’t attend?! SERIOUSLY? I want representation at these meetings. Really. Who do I see about this?

Anyway, back to the story.

So we all had a great run around and we were headed back to the house. And, well…that’s when I decided to take a detour. Into the woods.

My human and Pax and Frodo continued back to the house. My human called my name – and then, instead of one of my nicknames, called out other options: “Treats!!!” “Biscuits!!!” I heard her – but I knew her pockets were empty. Really humans – why do you try that one? You can’t fool us. So I continued to look for rabbits, foxes, and any kind of poop that any animals may have left behind.

When my human and the boys got back to the house, my human told Frodo to go and find me. He just looked at her and said “Seriously? You’re kidding, of course. If he’s lost, it’s HIS problem – and our gain. More food for us.” Paxton just stood and looked into the woods.

So there they are. Frodo, Paxton and my human, waiting near the house. Silently. For my human it felt like 10 minutes, but in all honestly it was more like two. Suddenly they can hear crashing in the bushes. And I come FLYING around the corner of the house. At which point both Frodo AND Pax try to take me out – they were both giving me grief for taking my detour. I did the “drop and roll” routine and then continued with zoomies all around the front yard of the house. And Frodo and I had a couple of “good natured” rolls and some wrestling – I was trying to make up for getting him mad. You can see that in the photo –he is leaning away – as he knows I am about to pounce on him again.

So I guess I may not be able to use that “Goodboy” name after all. I guess it REALLY doesn’t suit me. How about “Badboy?”. More like it. Actually, I kinda like the sound of that one my human used tonight – Biscuits. Yeah. That has a nice ring…. But what would the nicknames be? Bis? Bikkie? Biscuit Man-is-kit. Maybe I’ll just stick with Viktor. For now.

Nicknames

October 28, 2014Leave a Comment

Thanks everybody for the birthday greetings. The party (which had like 500 people and dogs) left just after midnight. Not really. But I did have cards and treats – that I shared with my brothers. Good times.

In my blog yesterday I shared how I got my name, Viktor. And I’d like to talk more about that today. I mean, you humans are SO interesting. You pick a name for us as puppies. In fact you sometimes agonize about what to call us. No more than two syllables is the “rule” my human uses. Sometimes it is a “theme” name –my human named some of her dogs after beer – there was Guinness, Harp, and Beamish… Then when she met Frodo, our breeder had been calling him Frodo – and she figured he looked like Frodo (whatever a Frodo looks like) and she kept it. Paxton is supposed to mean “peaceful town” in Latin or something – so she thought that was cool. Our house is anything BUT peaceful with Paxton in it.

Picking a name IS important. I’m mean, it’s something you will say probably 165 million times in our lifetime. “Viktor here”. “Viktor sit”. “Viktor stay”. “Viktor – where are you?” “Viktor leave it.” For the longest time I thought my name was “Viktorno” – since I heard “Viktor no” so often.

But then what do you humans do? You start calling us OTHER names as well. For example, besides Viktor, I also have a variety of nicknames including: Vik (the obvious), Baby V (since I AM the youngest) , Viktorino (which sounds more Italian than Polish!), Trino (which is an nickname name for a nickname), and one day when my human was in a rhyming mood she came up with Viktor Man-ik-tor. WHAT the HECK is THAT?!!! Note that many of these nicknames break the two syllable “rule!”

Oh and it’s not JUST me who has the litany of names. Frodo goes by Fro, Frodee-o-doe; and Frofee. Frofee!!!!? WHERE did THAT one come from??? Oh RIGHT. It’s short for Frofee Minofee.

Paxton goes by Pax, Paxtonian, Poppie, Paw Paw (sometimes I think my human is losing it!) – and of course, the name that started years ago when he was in the Drill Team – Bucket Head. Contrary to popular belief that it was a mean spirited nickname – it wasn’t! It was simply a fact that his head was as BIG as a bucket. And it IS!!!

So you WONDER why we don’t behave? We don’t know WHO you are talking to!!!! Top that off with the following line that is always blurted out when I am in the middle of doing something bad: “STOP!!! Frodo….Paxton…whatever your name is…STOP!!!!!”

I have decided today that I want to change my name – and I will go by one – and only one name: Goodboy. I like it. Goodboy. It has a catchy ring. It was either that or Groucho. Or maybe I WILL use both. My human would.

It’s my BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

October 27, 20144 Comments

That’s me as a puppy. Because today is THE DAY!!!! It should be a national holiday. Because…..it’s my BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Yes indeed. Three years ago today, with 9 other siblings in my TREASURY (remember I don’t like that “litter” word), I entered the world.

Frodo, who is older than me has the same parents that I do. Although Frodo does have his barking “issue” my human thought that he was a great dog – and wanted to get another PON just like him. So why not get a puppy from the same parents? They will be the same, right? WRONG.

We could NOT be more different. Frodo: calm, obedient, trustworthy (most of the time), EASY to train, independent, and smart. That’s why she fell in love with PONs – Frodo was (is) an EASY dog.

And then there is me: Wild, DISOBEDIENT, cuddly, friendly, not-so-easy to train, and VERY, VERY funny. Well, what do you expect – my human picked me herself – and I WAS the feisty one in the treasury. My human started to visit me when I was a tiny pup and she came every week to figure out who she would take home. By week 5, I stood out as the “sometimes” bold one in the group. BUT – I would also come to her when she called with treats – and I would lick her all over. By week 6, I had won her over. She was hooked. She decided to name me Viktor – her grandafther’s name was Victor- so she changed my name to V-i-K-t-o-r – so as not to offend any relatives!

When I came home at 7.5 weeks, I was pretty confident in the car ride home. I figured “I’m the man” – and I will totally train this human all by myself. Little did I realize there were “other” canines at home. When I came in the door, I nearly had a heart attack when I saw Paxton. WHAT the HECK is THAT????????? It’s HUGE!!!! It smells like a dog – but seriously – did someone overfeed that thing that it got soooooo big?! Paxton initially ignored me – he had been through the “new puppy thing” with Frodo – and thought that MAYBE I was just here for a day or two. WRONG.

Frodo, on the other hand, thought I was FANTASTIC. Maybe he realized I was his brother. He barked at me, rolled around me – and thought I was a wonderful new toy. He was my buddy.

Within a few days, I took a look around me, and decided that although I WAS the smallest, I SHOULD be the KING. I’m so CUTE. And every now and then, I still DO try to show everyone that I AM THE BOSS. Which is when my human steps in and quickly reminds me that SHE is the boss. Right. I’ll let her think so.

It’s a pretty cool household – and I’m glad my human picked me out of all those puppies in my treasury. The last three years has given my human so much – both aggravation – AND joy. Overall, it has been joy – and it if weren’t for the aggravation we wouldn’t have NEARLY enough material for this blog!!! Happy birthday to me and all the puppies in my treasury! Go and give all your canine kids a biscuit on me! And you humans can have a drink on me – you probably need it!!!!

Find the bunny…

October 26, 2014Leave a Comment

We have had a few days of rain in Nova Scotia. And we all KNOW how much Frodo and I like rain. We plod along miserably with our heads held low – walking slower than a drunken slug. And we obviously have NO desire to go OUTSIDE and retrieve in the rain. So our exercise routine has been completely thrown off – but of course, that doesn’t mean that we don’t STILL have energy.

So the other night, when our human could no longer bear our continual sad staring and arm nudging, she decided we should play an indoor game called “Find the Bunny.” It is a FABULOUS game – which uses our brains – and we also get to burn off some energy. The rules are simple. We have this great stuffed bunny – which our human hides. We then take turns “finding the bunny.” Simple – right? Nothing is simple in our house…

The first challenge is in sequestering two of us while the other dog plays. Because let’s face it – I don’t willingly believe in taking turns. So our human brings out the dreaded baby gate and corrals two of us into a room while the third dog plays. The other night, she SOMEHOW tricked Frodo and I – so we were corralled first – and Paxton got to play first.

I must say, I was totally impressed with Paxton’s ability to play the other night. Our human would tell him to sit and stay, while she would hide the bunny somewhere in another room. Not only did he STAY, but he waited until he heard the magic words “Find the bunny.” Of course when he hears those words, area carpets go flying and the table lamps shake. But he consistently found the bunny AND brought the bunny back each time – to be traded for a treat. He was a find-the-bunny-superstar.

Now our human had to corral Pax with one of us so we could take our turn. THAT was no small fete. Anyway, after much pulling and tugging on her part, she managed to get Frodo out of the holding area – and Paxton and I got to watch.

The problem with playing Find the Bunny AFTER Paxton has played, is that the bunny is now pretty soggy. Honestly, that’s why we like HIM to play last. Oh well.

Frodo is a show off when it comes to this game. Our human can hide the bunny in pretty obscure places, and he will keep trying to find it. If he gets really stumped – he looks to our human – who can either give him “hot” and “cold” clues by saying
“yes” if he is going the right way or “no” if he is going the wrong direction. She can also point – and he will go where she points. Of course, he found the bunny EVERY time – and got lots of treats.

Now it was MY turn. I was sooooooooo excited I could barely contain myself. The first time my human told me to “stay” while she hid the bunny, well…I didn’t bother staying. I mean, I might as well see where it is to save time – right? No. It’s not in the “rules.” So back I went – and this time I stayed. When I heard the magic words – I FLEW. I mean my feet hardly touched the ground. And I disappeared into the room where the bunny was hidden. I should add at this point, that when each of us go to find the bunny on our FIRST try, our human has put it in some pretty obvious place – so we will be successful. So off I go. And my human waits. And waits. And waits. OK. Something is wrong. She goes into the room – and there I am – trying to rip the ears off the bunny. “NO!!!!!!” she shouts. And takes my prey from me. “THAT is NOT in the rules”. Bloody rules.

So we try it again. This time I got the bunny and ran back to my human. And ran right past her. Who cares about a treat? I just want the BUNNY. After much cajoling, I finally DID trade the bunny. I had a few more turns, and I DID get better at the game. Although one time I couldn’t find the bunny so I just came back and searched around the starting point. Frodo just rolled his eyes at me…

At the end of the game we were all tired and panting. A good round of “Find the bunny” is a great game for a rainy day. Now if I could just figure out where my human hid that bunny, so I could play a few rounds all by myself….

Baby gates

October 25, 2014Leave a Comment

Many homes have them. They are not one of my favorite things. While we dogs DO rule this house, there is one thing that our human controls – which IS a bit of a challenge. It’s called the baby gate.

We canines can go in every room in our house. At times, our human will restrict our access to a room if she is not home – just for our own safety. And the safety of some belongings. For example, Paxton and I have a bit of a bad habit – we like to chew pillows. Just the ends. A pillow to us is like a giant piece of gum – gotta chew it. So if my human is not able to keep an eye on us, she will restrict our access to the bedrooms. Or to keep us from chewing the pillows on the sofa in the rec room, she will place objects ON the sofa – like a broom – or a dog obedience jump – which deters us from stealing the pillows. There is something ironic about using obedience equipment to keep us from being disobedient… But anyway. She quickly gathers up the objects when company arrives. And other than that, we can pretty much go where we please – with one exception. There is one room that my human keeps off limits to dogs all the time and she refers to it as the “dog free zone.” The living room.

The reason for the restriction is simple. The living room contains a LARGE antique glass cupboard filled with glassware. And my human knows, that should Paxton and I start our zoomies in the living room, and should he (or even his tail!) hit the cupboard – well it would not be a happy day in our household. My human also has some hooked rugs in the living room– which Paxton and I find as appealing as pillows to chew on. One of those rugs took our human something like 50 dog years to make. So the dog free zone is OFF limits to all canines. All the time.

To restrict our access to the dog free zone, my human puts a baby gate in the entrance. We are not afraid of many things – but the idea of a baby gate falling on us is pretty scary – so we never even attempt to move it. At least Pax and I don’t. And then there is Frodo…

In the last couple of weeks, Frodo has decided that if our human is in the dog free zone, he MUST get in there. So he basically pushes the gate aside and makes his way in. The first time he did it, our human just looked at him. And then she told him if he could lie down and stay out of trouble, he could remain in the dog free zone while she was in there working on her laptop. BIG mistake. Did you ever hear the phrase about “giving an inch…”

Frodo has now determined that the dog free zone is HIS room. If our human is in there – he is INSISTENT on being in there. And he has also gone one step further…

Yesterday morning our human was getting ready to leave for work and she was doing the “safety check” of the house…nothing to steal off the counters – check, water bowls full – check, and dog free zone was secured with chairs to hold the baby gate in place – check. She even put an extra chair in place – to be sure that Frodo wouldn’t go in. So the place was totally secure. She got treats ready to give to us as she leaves, and she did a head count. One, two….two dogs. OK, one dog missing. WHERE is Frodo? He’s always ready for his treat. She looked around the dining room and the kitchen. No Frodo. WHERE the heck is he??? Froooooooooodo. Where ARE you?????? Yup. You guessed it. Safely secured IN the dog free zone. When she moved the well-secured gate and insisted he come out, he just gave out a big sigh and ambled out slowly.

As I continue to emphasize, we canines are pretty smart. And we DON’T forget. ESPECIALLY us PONs. Frodo figures he has been “in the zone” before – so why not do it again? Give us an inch…

Now if Pax and I could just get up the courage to move that baby gate too…