Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

I want to be a Corgi. For a day.

December 14, 2014Leave a Comment

Oh my goodness. Somebody find me a Corgi costume. My human heard it on the radio – and a quick Google search proved it true. A woman in Boston LOVES Corgis SO much – (probably even more than the Queen!) – that she wants them to be the bridesmaids at her wedding. She put out an ad – looking to pay Corgis to be in her wedding. Seriously. I told you that humans are strange. Personally, I think another member of the herding group would be an excellent substitute. IMAGINE a wedding party of PONs….

OK. But it got me thinking. I didn’t really like the antlers. And I’m not all that fond of dressing up – but I DO tolerate it. So this Corgi thing – if someone can find me a costume, I’m IN. I would LOVE a trip to Boston! Did you know, every year, Nova Scotia sends a HUGE Christmas tree to Boston as a thank–you for their help after the Halifax Explosion in 1917? If you’ve never even heard of it – the Halifax Explosion was the largest man-made explosion before the atomic bomb. There’s your history lesson for today. And you got it from a PON. So to be able to go to Boston and to pee on the Nova Scotia Christmas tree would be VERY cool – plus I would get to audition for the Corgi wedding.

SURELY I can find a costume somewhere….

Oh. And by the way. My human was able to get her money back for the dog bed. So Frodo is off the hook. And we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of the steel bed. Well. Maybe Frodo and Paxton are. I’ve been managing to sneak up on my human’s bed at night. So who needs a dog bed anyway?

Dasher and Dancer and Destroyer…

December 13, 20142 Comments

The other day, my human went to the pet store – I think to get some of the things on my wish list. She’s helping Santa.

While she was there, she saw that they had pet beds on sale. In our house, the last bed…well the last two beds met with their demise after quite a few months. We had two of the same beds – and we rotated between them. And although we LOVED them – the urge to chew was too much. First we started chewing one of them. That was thrown away. Then we started the second one. I like to attack the zippers first, and Pax likes to pull out the stuffing. Frodo generally doesn’t touch them. After my human came home one day and found the dining room looking like it had been in a snowstorm, she said “no more beds.”

The snowstorm bed…

But unfortunately, or in this case – fortunately, it seems that my human does NOT have quite as good a memory as we canines do. So in a moment of amnesia, she saw these “tough” beds made by KONG at the pet store while doing her Christmas shopping. She looked them over and figured that the name KONG is synonymous with TOUGH. And the fabric looked good. So. She caved. She bought ONE as a pre-Christmas gift for all of us to share.

She was sooo happy when she brought it home. She proudly put it down in the dining room. I immediately jumped on it to try it out. Then I walked away and Pax made himself quite comfortable on it. My human was sooo happy.

My human then had a phone call. At this point, Pax was off the bed and Frodo was lying next to it. My human was partly paying attention to him – but was also engaged in the call. And THEN she looked more carefully at Frodo. WHAT was he doing?! Why chewing off the corner of the bed, of course. At this point, the bed had been in our home for hmmmmm….less than an hour? “STOP” she shouted. Too late. Yup – a hole in the corner of the bed. So much for TOUGH.

KONG does provide a warranty on its products – but she’s not so sure about this. She’ll see if the store will give her a credit.

In the meantime, this bed thing now became a challenge. She went on-line and found these INDESTRUCTIBLE beds that she had seen at a dog show. She ordered the one made of steel. Sounds comfy. Two treats says it WILL be indestructible – but none of us will want to use it. Can’t wait for it to arrive.

Never a dull moment : ) I think Frodo should get one less Christmas present because he did this. And I should have his present – don’t you agree?!

Frodo’s handiwork

Decorations UP

December 12, 20141 Comment

My human received her first Christmas card in the mail the other day. Guess who it was from? Our Vet. Seriously. My human figures that Paxton’s surgery to remove her sling from his intestines in March, paid for ALL the Christmas cards the Vet sent out. And his cruise. And his new car….

All of the decorations are up – even the “real tree.” My human sequestered us in the other room while she dragged it into the house because she KNEW the whole idea of an indoor peeing spot would be too much to comprehend. She has kept us out of the DFZ and so far the bungee cords are working. Mind you, she KNOWS that if she leaves that gate open for a SECOND, we’re in. She TRIED to get a holiday photo of the three of us in front of the tree – she thought that would be so pretty. But my brain exploded the MINUTE I walked in the room. I mean LOOK at all the decorations. And top that off with some old toys under the tree – including an old Teddy Bear – and well – the pictures didn’t turn out too good. And that was even WITHOUT wearing antlers. We, well I, just couldn’t sit still. Maybe sometime this weekend – if she runs us around for an hour or so, I’ll be tired enough to stay still.

Well I had better go – I have to think if there is anything left to add to my wish list. Time is running out….13 days left!

Crafts…

December 11, 2014Leave a Comment

Crafts. A human thing to do. Well – it’s not like we canines don’t TRY to make things. We are creative when it comes to “carving” things – bones, sticks, pens, screwdriver handles, broom handles…..Typically, though, humans are not impressed with our work – and you could hardly sell it at a craft fair.

Our human loves to try new crafts. Which usually entails going out and paying a small fortune for all the supplies needed, and then no finished results. Lots of false starts. But few final products. She saw some cool artwork using dog pawprints – but the image of us putting our paws in paint was too scary to consider. Seriously. CAN you imagine us with paint on our paws?! I would like to try it – it would make for a GREAT blog story – but I don’t think she’ll go for it.

HOWEVER, our human DID make a new “craft” creation this week – and it is just in time for the holidays – AND it involves us too! Doesn’t everything?! Our human likes to “repurpose” things – so this was a simple, quick project that fit the bill.

She found some old tin Christmas tree light reflectors at a second hand store. And she made them into tiny picture frames for the dog tree. With US!

I like this idea because it didn’t take any time – like the hooked rug that took her 75 years to complete. None of us was around when she started it. And then when we go and lie down on it in the DFZ, she gets all nervous that we’ll do something to it. We’re CAREFUL. We’re GOOD. OK. There WAS that recent issue with the dead dog Christmas ornament. But don’t worry about these new ornaments – they’re pretty indestructible. That is…unless Paxton gets them.

The Santa plan…

December 10, 2014Leave a Comment

My Christmas wish list is getting longer every day. New collar, new bed, new leash, organic treats, iPawd, kitten, puppy, budgie, goldfish, sheep, new rain suit, interactive toys…Note- I have not asked for new grooming tools. I’d rather ask for NO grooming for a year. That’s a good request! I’ll add it. What’s the cut-off date for submitting this thing?

But you know, this whole Santa Claus thing…well…let’s face it-it is NOT going to work at our house. I mean picture it. We are supposed to leave treats for Santa and his reindeer. As IF we would EVER leave treats lying around. Seriously. That won’t work. And then the idea of this fat bearded guy coming down our chimney. I mean REALLY – could you PICTURE what would happen?! There is NO WAY we would let him in. He would be throwing the presents at us. Frodo would be barking up a storm, Paxton would be trying to knock him over and me? I’d be leaping up and down so much – just the sight of me would scare him away.

So I’m thinking that I need a plan. I want the presents, but I’m wondering if Santa can just leave them outside. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Unless it’s raining. Hmmm. I really have to think this over – and I only have 15 days left…

These boots were made for walking…

December 9, 20142 Comments

Time for another Vik-Advisor review. In continuing our apparel discussion, let’s talk about accessories. You may have noticed in the photo in our last review in which we discussed body suits, that Frodo was wearing boots.

Our human has tried a NUMBER of different kinds of boots over the years. Leather boots. Boots of Gortex with Velcro straps. And none of them work like PAWZ.

Their website is:

http://pawzdogboots.com/

PAWZ are cool. They look like balloons and are made of biodegradable rubber. They come 12 to a pack, which according to my calculator, is 3 sets. So here are the pros and cons:

Cons:

· They DO wear out even if your nails are NOT long – after a few wears.

· They are initially a bit tricky to get on.

· When you put them on the FIRST time – you will walk like all your legs are frozen. But within a few minutes, it is NO problem. That actually happens with most boots.

Pros:

· They stay on quite well. You can run around, and they don’t fall off like other boots.

· They are great for protecting your feet from salt in the winter.

· They come in 3 sets to a box– so even if one rips, it’s not like you have to go out and buy a whole new set.

· They come in flashy colors – by size. In the photo I am wearing a large. In the photo in my last review, Frodo was wearing a medium. But for ease when putting them on, a large is better. Paxton takes an extra large. Don’t get them too big, though – because then they WILL come off.

· It looks like on their home page that if you put in your address, you can find out where you can buy them locally. Unless you live in Togo, Afghanistan, or Zaire. They don’t appear to sell them there.

Last year, Paxton had a cut on his paw. He even had some surgery to see if there was anything stuck in his paw. There wasn’t. But after the surgery, his paw had to be bandaged – and it needed to stay dry. My human was sooooooooo happy she had those PAWZ.

So……I give PAWZ a rating of… 4 PAWS!!! I would give them 5, but as I mentioned, they DO wear out. But the cost is not bad – so I wouldn’t let that keep me from buying them. Well – I mean my human from buying them. She’s the one with the cash. And the credit card. I’ve actually applied for one. Waiting for it to come in…

Christmas photos…Falalalala…NOT

December 8, 2014Leave a Comment

The obligatory Christmas photos. That time of year when humans torture us as payback for anything bad we have done all year – by making us wear Santa hats – or God forbid, those dreaded antlers.

Well, my human is just like the rest. She dashed off to the Dollar store yesterday and found the blasted antlers. The photo you see is one of 42,000 shots taken. She also bought these red collars with white balls hanging along the edges. And that’s a joke too. I think that the people who manufacture stuff for the Dollar Store have a lopsided view of dog sizes. I mean really. A size LARGE at the Dollar Store is for a fat chihuahua. So just TRY and put one of those stretchy red collars around Paxton’s neck. The poor guy could hardly breathe throughout the photo shoot. And then you couldn’t even SEE the collars on us. Money WELL spent. Not.

The ONLY way our human got ANY shots was to carry a couple of pieces of meat with her. That kept us somewhat interested in the whole fiasco. What was funny was that Frodo, aka “Mr. Serious,” got right into the whole thing. He didn’t mind the antlers much at all. Paxton and I – well – both of us just wanted to rip them off each other – and below is a shot of Paxton doing just that. At the end of the photo shoot- which I might add – WE put an end to, I got a hold of one of the antlers and took off with it. I growled at anyone who tried to take it from me. I wanted to destroy it – so there was no chance my human would try this again – with a different backdrop!

I must admit, we DID manage to get a couple of cute one-on-one photos of Frodo and me – which I’ll be sharing later. Paxton? He HATES the indignity of the whole staged photo thing – so all the shots of him are not great. He looks like he just realized Santa isn’t real.

I have no doubt that our human is not through with the Christmas photos yet. And we’ll tolerate them as best we can – because we DO want those presents. But DON’T expect us to smile…and beware – we WILL get back at you for this….

An unplanned bath.

December 7, 20142 Comments

A weekend morning. That generally signals an EXTRA long morning walk. And sometimes a run on the golf course. And yesterday was no exception. It was clear – no rain or snow and just a PERFECT morning for a walk.

In our usual morning routine, our human feeds us before we go out. But yesterday, she decided she would feed us when we got home – she figured it would be incentive for us to WANT to return home.

It was dark when we got her up – so she did a few things around the house to wait until it was light out. We were patiently waiting. Well two of us were patient. While our human was unloading the dishwasher, she heard what sounded like chewing. Chewing something hard. She looked, and saw Paxton chewing a Sharpie pen under the dining room table. She had NO idea how he got it. Little does she know, I gave it to him.

Anyway, while cleaning up the pen pieces, our human made a big decision – she was going to take ALL three of us for a run on the golf course. Which is no small fete. Usually we go two and one – but she was feeling “lucky” so she figured what the heck.

If we are going for a run – which means no leash – we all have to wear bells. So that she can hear us if we take off in the woods. And once WE hear those bells come out – all heck breaks loose. I mean we go CRAZY. Absolutely CRAZY. I’m sure you think you have a picture of the insanity – but trust me – it’s 100 times worse… I’m jumping straight up and down. And barking. And of COURSE, Frodo is non-stop barking. And we now have Paxton trained to bark too. And just TRY to get those bells on us. We also DO walk on leashes TO the course – so we also have to get those leashes on. Our human puts me and Frodo on a coupler – so she has one less leash to hold onto. By the time our human gets to the door to take us out, she is already exhausted.

So off we go. We are headed to the golf course. Which is NOT far. But of course, I’m dragging Frodo along all the way.

We reach the course and head down the first fairway. And our human stops to let us off leash. That again is a moment of insanity – because it’s like letting the bulls loose in Pamplona. LOOK out. Off we go. Yeeehaw.

We all take off. And we race around the first pond we come to. We all stop to sniff and race back around the pond to the route our human is taking. Well not all of us go around. Paxton seemed to think it would be faster to go THROUGH the pond. Which at this time of the year, is a muddy stagnant swamp. And down he goes. And he gets stuck down in the mud. And as our human goes to get him, he leaps out. His white ruff is now a dark brown. And he is wet. And as he runs past, our human can smell him. Even WE didn’t want to get near him!

So we continue our run. We raced along – having a blast. It was a PERFECT morning. We ran and ran. I just LOVE doing zoomies. The sun was completely coming up and the sky was a brilliant red. So our human went to take a picture with her phone. Which was NOT in her pocket. OK. She remembered putting it on the counter to take with us…BUT did she put it in her pocket? In the PONdemonium before we left, did she forget it?

So back we go along the same route we had taken – trying to retrace our path – in the event that the phone WAS lying somewhere in the grass.

Leashes went back on, but we were tired and HUNGRY enough that we were happy to go home. We pulled all the way home.

We got home, but before we could eat, our human wanted to quickly rinse Paxton off in the “dog tub”. She rinsed. And rinsed. And RINSED. And more and more brown gunk came off of him. She took him out of the tub and went to wipe him – and the towel was brown. Back he went in the tub. At which point, she figured she might as well give him his Christmas bath- a little early. The only problem – before he has a bath, it is important to brush him FIRST. But she couldn’t because he was already half WET. Long story short, his hair kept clogging the brown murky water in the tub – and what would normally be a quick bath turned into a marathon bath. And when she went to dry him with the jet engine dryer, hair went flying EVERYWHERE. All the time Frodo and I were rather impatiently waiting for our breakfast – watching the nuclear hair fallout.

So by 8:15 AM, we had all had a GREAT run, we had one clean Berner, a FILTHY tub and a garage/grooming area covered in dog hair and two PONs who were quite happy that THEY went AROUND the pond. Oh – and the phone was on the counter. A super start to the day- from our point of view!

Outsmarting…

December 5, 2014Leave a Comment

Many years ago, when my human first saw a PON at the Crufts Dog Show in England, she decided to learn more about us. She read about us, and two things that she remembers reading were that we were smart – and that we REMEMBER things very well. Which can be great…or can be a very deadly combination.

Frodo is the smartest PON I know. OK. He’s the only PON I know. And he IS my brother. But trust me, Frodo NEVER forgets anything. And not only does he remember things– but he THEN takes his knowledge of what he remembers and uses it. Which has my human afraid. Very afraid. She likes our Christmas dog tree – but she fears for its future…

You see, Frodo does NOT like to be sequestered in an area – or restricted from a certain area – like the DFZ. And he will do ANYTHING in his power to get out of an area – or into one. One time my human used SIX bungee cords to secure the gate on the dog run in the garage and when she returned home from an errand, all the bungee cords were chewed off, the door was still closed, and Paxton and I were in the run – but Frodo was waiting outside. I call him PONdini. We don’t use the dog run very much anymore. At least not with Frodo.

As we know, he has been getting into the DFZ for a month or so. And he quite likes it in there. He just pushes the gate aside and walks in – and I now follow him. For MONTHS he never touched that gate – but now it is no challenge. And if he wants in, he WILL get in. He remembers he was in – and he will figure out HOW to get in again.

Since the dead dog Christmas ornament incident, my human has made the DFZ totally off limits – because that’s where the dog tree is located. She has barricaded the entrance to the DFZ with not just one gate – but two. The gates lean against the entrance. But yesterday morning, as she was leaving for work, she saw Frodo silently staring into the DFZ. She got into the car, and then came BACK into the house to add another gate and some extra furniture as a blockade.

When she came home from work, she was relieved to see the fortress intact.

But she KNOWS Frodo – and she KNOWS that it is a matter of time before he breaks in. So she has tried a new plan. The entrance to the DFZ has two wooden pillars. So. She took bungee cords and secured the gate to the pillars. After she did that, she removed the other furniture that had formed the blockade. Now as we know, one gate is NO challenge for Frodo. But our human wanted to see what would happen now with the bungee cords. So like a hunter, our human sat silently waiting and pretended not to be watching him. The whole scene was actually rather comical. The two were trying to outsmart each other. And it was interesting…Frodo casually walked over to the single gate (which he usually moves away) – but simply looked at it. He didn’t even TRY to move it. He’s not stupid – he saw the bungee cords. My human watched him. Of course as SOON as he had walked over to the gate, I FLEW to his side, thinking he would get us in. But he just looked at the gate, looked at the cords and walked away.

So despite the fact that he didn’t TRY to get in, my human isn’t so sure about her great idea. SHE remembers the last bungee cord fiasco. I think it’s funny – she’s afraid that he’s smarter than her! But haven’t I been saying that all along?

We’ll see how this new plan works – I’m pushing Frodo to get us in. His response? “Patience little brother. Patience…”

Musical taste…

December 4, 2014Leave a Comment

Let’s talk about music. I don’t usually pay much attention to music – but there is ONE song that drives me crazy – that song by the Lumineers, Ho Hey. EVERY time that song plays – no matter WHAT I am doing – I HAVE to bark. There is something about those people shouting “Ho. Hey,” that just sets me off.

So this, of course, got my human wondering if dogs really DO listen to music. A quick search of the internet revealed that we DO seem to have a preference for certain types of music. In a study done in Ireland, a researcher found that if dogs listened to heavy metal music, they became more active and barked more. That would NOT be a good idea in this house! If dogs listened to classical music, they became more relaxed. Listening to pop music was no different than listening to no music at all. Clearly they didn’t use Ho Hey in the study.

Leave it to my human to then find a website that says they have created music to relax dogs. Obviously I would be the PERFECT guinea pig for this music. So she tried playing some of the music on the site. It was mostly classical type music with the sounds of waves and birds mixed in. I just looked at my human when she played it. And I kept staring at her – because she was staring at me. And we stared and stared. She was hoping that the music would put me to sleep – like one of the dogs seen in a video on the site. Guess what? It didn’t work for me. But are we REALLY surprised? Personally, I think they drugged those dogs to make them fall asleep. If it was that easy – to just play music to calm us – our human would be going out and buying a whole new stereo system. Now mind you, while she was trying this short experiment on me, Paxton WAS snoring and dead to the world. But then again, he’s not a PON…Actually, maybe we should try some polka music…and THEN let’s see what happens…