Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

The producers.

March 12, 2015Leave a Comment

Trouble. My human spent about an hour brushing me the night before last. We KNOW what THAT means. We KNOW what comes next. The dreaded bath.

I know she won’t have time tonight after she gets home from work. But tomorrow night…where can I hide? I used to fit under the bed, but I’m too big. She is on to my attempts to hide behind curtains. And if I try to take off and hide in the woods, well…. that will mean no supper. Might as well submit. There usually are treats involved so I guess I can put up with it.

Guess WHAT? We can SEE parts of the paving on the driveway! We all just stood on the spots in amazement – we didn’t know what that black stuff was!

And the MONUMENTS with the melting snow. Holy moly. When my human got home from work, she began the “big pick up.” Seriously. We could fertilize a 20 acre farm. My human read that there are projects to convert dog poop to energy. We need to do that. We have enough stuff in our yard right now to power a small town. I am NOT joking. Paxton is a BIG producer. Add to that two PONs. Well. You get the picture. If you could get money for dog poop – we would be RICH. Hey. Now there’s an idea. Exotic meadow muffins from the woodlands of Nova Scotia. Freshly chilled in pristine northern snow. Uniquely created by talented canine producers. I’m going to put it on Ebay! Seriously. Humans will by anything. Another PONtastic money-making scheme….

The meltdown.

March 11, 2015Leave a Comment

Guess what?! We saw this HUGE, round bright thing in the sky yesterday. And it made the air feel hot. OK. Well not really HOT – but at least luke-warm. Which is a heck of a lot better than bitter-Arctic-freeze-your-tail-off-cold. AND today we are going to have rain. Not sleet. Or snow. Or hail. Or freezing rain. Just plain old rain. Which won’t make Frodo happy, but maybe some of the 10 foot high snow mountains around the house will START to go down. The beginning of the meltdown.

My human can’t WAIT for the snow to disappear – although she DOES have one thing she dreads. She knows that as the snow piles go down, OTHER piles will appear. Let’s just say that going out at 5 AM in the dark, trudging through knee high snow in freezing cold temperatures is not always conducive to removing mittens and using poop bags. So, if you call them “monuments” – our yard is going to look like a cemetery. One would think that when winter ENDS you put AWAY the shovel. Not in the beginning of spring at our house!

Anyway, we ARE happy for the change!!! Let’s just hope winter is over…but we still DO have a bit of March left…

Meet the breed

March 9, 2015Leave a Comment

OK. I just heard something. Remember I said something about a local DOG show coming up – several weeks ago? And my human was talking something about beauty pageants and obedience “entries?” Well. It’s THIS weekend. It seems she didn’t feel I was quite ready for any competitions right now – given that there will be no “find the bunny” contests at the show. BUT she DID enter Frodo and I in something called “Exhibition.” So we get to be in some kind of exhibit. Kind of like being a painting in an art gallery. You hang around and look pretty, but you don’t do too much.

APPARENTLY, we are going to participate in something called “Meet the Breed.” We sit on display, and our human will answer questions about WHY anyone should get a PON. Why? Because we are perfect. That’s why.

So this sounded all well and good to me. UNTIL my human announced that being an exhibit involves having a BATH. Seriously. Take Paxton. Call him a Polish Valley Dog. Who will know the difference?

Ugh. So I guess you need to be clean to be an exhibit. I’m hoping my human has time to bathe just one of us. And Frodo can go first….

PONtuition

March 8, 2015Leave a Comment

Sometimes we canines are very intuitive. We know when there is trouble. And we DO come to the rescue…

My human had a very, very, very hard day yesterday. Having to do with her work.

And when she came home after being unexpectedly gone for hours, I could SEE that she was sad. So what did I do? I provided comic relief…

You know the infamous bunny that we use for our Find the Bunny game? Well. He is kept securely on a shelf in the garage – where we can’t get him.

When my human came home, she opened the garage door to come in from the car– and told us we all needed to go out and pee before supper. She then opened the outside door. Frodo dashed outside. Paxton dashed outside. And then I dashed outside. Carrying a certain stuffed mammal. My human watched me FLY by, over the snow mounds, holding my bounty. Instead of being aggravated by my thievery, my human could only laugh. I was FLYING with that long-eared fellow. My human had no idea how I managed to get him off the shelf – let alone get him that quickly. And I ran and ran. Shaking the heck out of that guy. It’s a miracle he still has a head.

THEN my human had to figure out how to get the bunny back. But the promise of supper was enough for me – and after a few tugs on the rodent, I gave him up.

Last night we took it easy on my human. We KNEW she had a hard day. We were well mannered – we didn’t bark, or steal things. And we gave her giant kisses and hugs.

I may not pass the Therapy Dog test – but I sure was acting like one last night. I am a PON of many hidden talents…and I do have excellent PONtuition….

Viktor Isagoodboy

March 7, 2015Leave a Comment

OK. So I have talked before about how we canines have a variety of names. The first is the name we were given when we came home – and then we get a variety of nicknames as time goes on – many of which do not even resemble our given name.

But you know, we also have a HUGE variety of last names. At least I do. Because the moon has been full this week – and because we are just a TAD stir crazy because we haven’t been able to have a really long walk with the icy conditions, my aliases have been used a LOT lately. They include “Viktor Stop.” That’s a common one when I am licking someone. And then we have “Viktor Leaveit,” and “Viktor Knockitoff.” Add to that “Viktor Quietnow,” “Viktor Whereareyou,” “Viktor Whatareyoudoingnow” and one of my favorites – “Viktor Don’teventhinkaboutit.” I am truly a dog with many surnames.

Remember I mentioned that my human went to the dreaded Dollar store, and I saw what appeared to be rabbit ears sticking out of a bag? Well who KNEW that the Dollar store ALSO sold appalling attire for ANOTHER holiday before Easter. That holiday is like 9 days from now. So of course, yesterday my human was home with us and she decided she should do the torturous photos shoot. It started indoors – but the shots were not to her liking – so outside we went. The ONLY way she managed to get a few thousand shots was because she had CHEESE in her pocket.

I MUST confess, I was EXTREMELY naughty. I mean EXTREMELY. Maybe I smelled spring in the air? Not likely – but that’s what we will blame it on – plus the full moon thing. Anyway, my human MUST have said “Viktor SitsitSIT” and “Viktor STAYTHERE” at LEAST 300 times. I was TOTALLY practicing picnore. I did NOT want my photo taken, but I must say, my human is as stubborn as I am. She FINALLY did manage to get some decent shots. Well. Decent in her opinion. Check in a few days to see the results…the things I put up with…

We LOSE an hour?

March 7, 2015Leave a Comment

It’s that time. Where we do that crazy human thing – where we change the clocks again. But tonight, we somehow LOSE an hour. Somewhere. I’m not sure WHERE that hour actually goes, but when we go to bed tonight -well an hour will somehow disappear.

Last time, when we moved the clocks back, we had an extra hour to do all kinds of fun things. Eating and playing ball and eating and running around and eating and having treats…It was a joyful hour.

But now we lose that time…I vote that we lose the grooming hour for this week. Yes. That would be PERFECT. Done.

There IS a good thing about changing the clock – it will be lighter longer each evening. More time to play fetch. When the snow and ice melts. Which will be July at this point. Maybe by then the luge run will melt. You should watch my human as she drives down the driveway on the luge run each day. I’m thinking she should be selling tickets for the ride. It’s more exciting than most amusement park rides.

The luge run

Anyway, don’t forget to change your clock tonight. If you live in one of those crazy places that you have to. Otherwise, you’ll be late for everything! Oh – and trust me – we canines WILL be waiting for our meals – ON time.

The Duet

March 6, 2015Leave a Comment

Monkey see. Monkey do. Or in this case. Monkey hear. Monkey do.

So we all know that Frodo is the barker in the family. He barks when my human gets up. He barks when she is getting dressed. He barks when she is getting our food. He barks when she is eating her yoghurt. Etc. Etc. It’s the daily routine.

But the daily routine has been broken since the driveway became a luge run. Usually, Frodo and I get a long WALK together in the morning and then Paxton goes out for his walk. But with the icy conditions, the routine has changed. We each go out – one at a time. And we have been going in the backyard – rather than up the luge run and onto the road for our walk to “do our thing.” This snow and ice stuff is REALLY cramping my exercise routine. How will I EVER stay in shape?!

Anyway, the NEW routine is that I get to go out first – while Frodo and Paxton stay in. And Frodo barks. THEN Frodo goes out while Pax and I stay in. We quietly await their return. And then, Paxton goes out. And Frodo and I wait. That’s when the PON choir begins. I have always been a quiet guy, but with this change in routine, I have decided that I should do as Frodo does. So we BOTH bark while our human is out in the yard with Bucket Head. Occasionally, we hear our human outside shouting “FRODO BE QUIET”. And sometimes he stops – so I stop. For 20 seconds. And then the PON Brothers Duet begins again. Of course as SOON as my human opens the door to come back in with Pax, we are silent. It’s an interesting conundrum. You can’t scold us when we are quiet…Yes. We PONs are brilliant.

Spring can’t come soon enough for ALL of us. And once we get back to our regular routine, and we get our regular LONG walk, we will probably stop our duet. Maybe…..

Viktor. For Timex.

March 5, 2015Leave a Comment

Humans. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I don’t get them.

So you TRY and be helpful around the house, and you are told “NO!” OK. OK. I won’t lend a paw again.

Case in point. My human finishes her supper. She leaves the table. I see this as a PERFECT opportunity to help clean off any crumbs that may be left on the table. I’m JUST being thoughtful! I put my two paws on a chair and proceed to lick the table clean. Until my human turns around and spots me and says “Viktor – I am QUITE capable of cleaning off the table. So STOP it.”

I get the same response when I am helping my brothers to clean any stray crumbs – or yoghurt remnants on their chin – after we have all shared the almost empty yoghurt container each morning. Again. I am just helping. But my incessant licking drives my human wild – and although Frodo will often tell me to bug off – Paxton sadly obliges. All the time. Until my human tells me to stop. I can’t help it. Licking is fun.

Hey. I just had an idea. Maybe I could work for the Timex watch company! Remember that ad “It takes a licking and keeps on ticking?” I could be their poster child. Who do I call????? Might as well get paid for doing something I love to do!! Oh I am just FULL of good ideas! Gotta love me.

Crufts

March 5, 2015Leave a Comment

Crufts. The hugest Dog Show in the WORLD. It’s in England – and it is starting today!

My human went three times. That’s where she first saw us PONs years ago. Crufts has EVERYTHING you can think of that is “dog”. Besides the big beauty pageant, there is agility and obedience and gun dog stuff and demonstrations by rescue dogs and dancing and Meet the Breed and… and… and… EVERYTHING you can THINK of to buy that has to do with dogs. I mean, for my human, it is Doggie Disney World. Watching dogs and shopping for dogs and learning about dogs – it’s a dream come true.

She hasn’t been for a few years – and she is HOPING to go next year. As always, she has a story about one of her visits….

It was the year of the Mad Cow outbreak – and as I hear, there was even a POSSIBILITY that they wouldn’t hold the show. Now don’t quote me on that one – it may be a figment of my human’s imagination – it was BEFORE my time. Anyway, they DID hold the show and she went with a friend and they had a blast. They wore out their shoes – going ALL over the Exhibition Halls and seeing everything they could see in the four days. They went at the crack of dawn each day – and stayed until the end of judging each night.

On the last day, after Best in Show, the 1 million vendors were clearing out and packing up their booths. And some of them had some pretty good bargains at the end of the show. Including treats….There were these BIG sausage-like rolls of dog treats – and they were selling them at a huge discount. My human, who NEVER passes up a bargain, was so excited – because she could use the treats for training. She convinced her friend that it was a GREAT bargain and both of them packed their bags with probably 20 lbs each of treats. Which they then had to carry in their carry-on luggage because they had no room in their regular suitcases – because they were ALREADY full of other gifts and goodies. So the next day, they lugged their BIG suitcases and their HEAVY carry-on bags in a taxi, on a bus and finally through the Heathrow airport. They struggled to cram their heavy bags into the overhead compartments on the plane – all the time my human kept reminding her friend what a GREAT bargain they got.

They landed in Halifax and of course, had to fill out the customs card – which asks about the products they are bringing in. Hmmmm….Is it a meat product – if it’s NOT for humans? Dumb question. Of COURSE it is meat. And when the customs officer asked the question – while they were standing holding their heavy carry-on bags which were breaking their shoulders – they told him what they had. You guessed it. He confiscated their bargains. All 40 lbs of them. I hear that my human’s friend was ready to kill her. It’s a miracle they still are friends. My human says that the look on their faces as the officer took their treats was downright pitiful…

On the flip side, my human has brought back things from Crufts that were not confiscated. I’m still not sure how she managed to CARRY ON weave poles on the plane.

She even brought back a poster from a dog food company. She thought it was cool. She had a yellow Labrador at the time – and the poster is actually made up of dozens of little dog photos – in a mosaic. She was able to roll up the thing which is over 3X5 FEET in size and somehow bring it home without a wrinkle. She then asked some guy called an ex-husband (I don’t know him) to take it to a place to have it dry mounted on foam core. Nope. He had it mounted on a wooden board. The thing weighs like 500 lbs. And then my human realized she had no where to put it. So it is in her office at work. She calls it a great conversation piece…

The giant 500 lb poster

A close-up of the poster

I’m thinking I would like to go to Crufts to meet all the PONs someday – and to buy stuff. And to keep my human in check – heaven KNOWS what she could bring home next! Mind you, I’m not so sure I would like flying…and a boat – well that would take at least couple of hours. Maybe I’ll let my human go herself. As long as the guilt gifts are good.

Good luck to all my PON buddies who are competing at Crufts! And have some treats – on me! I hear that they sell some really good kinds!

Our bad

March 2, 2015Leave a Comment

Oh. My. Gosh. I have NEVER seen my human so unhappy with us. We ALL got in trouble the other night. BIG time. I think it’s partly because the snow and ice is getting to her.

Our human went out on Sunday afternoon with her mother – to get some groceries and then they met her sister and went for dinner. When she got home, she let us all out for a little run around and then gave us our supper. While we were eating, she went back outside to see if ANY of the 1000 lbs of salt she had thrown on the luge run we call a driveway, had even BEGUN to work. It appeared that the salt had begun to work – BUT what it now entailed was using a spade type device to chop holes in the 4inch thick ice. Keep in mind the luge run is like 200 yards long. For real.

So she started chopping, and shoveling huge chucks of ice and after about an hour, decided to let us all out while she continued to work. So she was chopping and sweating and we were walking around and checking things out. And THEN, Paxton decided there was something cool in the woods. My human never thought we would take off – because the snow is icy on top –and deep if you break through. And she never figured Bucket Head would go – the going is too tough for him. Wrongo. And of course, we had to follow. Now Frodo usually doesn’t take off with Pax and I, but he decided to join in the fun. My human saw what was about to happen, so she started yelling the futile “Treats!!!! Biscuits!!!!” – which none of us really cared because we had just eaten our dinner. And off we went.

My human figured we would be back in a minute – and she couldn’t go to follow us – as the place we went was SOLID ice. So she waited a few minutes. No dogs. So she called more. And she rattled our food bowls. And she called more. And she opened the garage door. And even started the car. I think she figured we would race back and jump in the car. But no – no dogs came back. Truth be told – we were all hiding in the woods just watching the proceedings. That’s what she gets for leaving us home on a Sunday afternoon.

So after a few minutes, she REALLY began to panic. It was starting to get dark. So – she got in the car, and crept up the luge run – with the windows rolled down – calling our names. She got just about up to our neighbor’s driveway – and she spotted me and Frodo. Frodo started barking at the car. My human stopped – opened the back door and said, in a rather loud voice “GET IN.” We happily obliged. And then out of the woods emerged Bucket Head, slipping and sliding along. She also ordered him into the vehicle.

She turned the vehicle around and slid back down the luge run and into the garage. She got out, shut the garage door, opened the car door and said “GET OUT”. Which we happily did – and we raced into the house. She then said “I am soooooooo unhappy with you – don’t even LOOK at me for an hour.”

She took a little break by going in the DFZ – and bungee cording herself in. It was actually a BIT dramatic. We didn’t even ATTEMPT to go in – or to squeak or bark – we knew we had been bad. But after a few minutes she came back out and I TOTALLY turned on my cute-onizing. Frodo wagged his tail and let out a little bark. And Paxton leaned on her as he sat down next to her. She was over it.

OK, I admit it. We WERE bad. And I guess our human gets upset because she worries something will happen to us. So we won’t do it again. At least not ALL of three of us at the same time…