Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

Spring fever

May 3, 2015Leave a Comment

Spring is REALLY here. Yesterday morning, I even got to go for a run with my buddy, Jackson, a black Labrador who lives up the road. My human and his human met at 6AM and went to take us on the golf course that is at the end of our road. My human only takes one of us at a time with Jackson – because, well Frodo and I tend to do “tag team herding” with the poor guy. That doesn’t happen when it is just one of us. We just do zoomies and chase each other.

The weather was dry and cool. We had a blast. Although, as my human and Jackson’s human noted, nothing is EVER totally calm and relaxing. At least for them. For example, I took off and disappeared for bit. My human has lost me in this particular area before – she figures there is either a rabbit or fox den nearby. She called and called me. And they KNEW where I was – but couldn’t see me in the dense brush. But they could hear me. I was wearing a big bell. I eventually emerged – kind of muddy. And I was well behaved after that.

Jackson also took advantage of his freedom, and went in EVERY mud puddle, stream, pond, and area of wet grass that he could find. I would race along the banks of the ponds and just watch him. And he particularly likes the swampy areas. That I don’t get. Frodo would have been mortified.

After an hour of running, we came home – and now it was time for Frodo and Paxton to go for THEIR walk. Of course, I TRIED to sneak out and join them – but my human reminded me that I had already had “my turn.” I was hoping she had forgotten.

It’s so nice to be OUT again and RUNNING without ice and snow. Life is good. But then…life is almost always good for a PON! Have a great Sunday!

Royal NEWS!!!

May 2, 2015Leave a Comment

Big news on the Royal front! Prince William and Kate Middleton – the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, announced the birth of their second child – a baby girl. I’m glad for them. They seem like a nice couple. I wonder, though, how Lupo, their Cocker Spaniel will feel. And I wonder if he will get to select the baby’s name. Apparently HE selected the name for Prince George. Really. The royal couple supposedly scattered pieces of paper on the floor with names, and Lupo selected George. I hope this time they include the name ViKtoria. Chances are, it will be in the mix – those Royals seem to like to recirculate names. But I want ViKtoria – with a “k” and not a “c”. I think that would be perfect – it’s keeping with tradition – but mixing things up a bit. And they would be naming the baby after me.

As for the history of Royal dogs – since the 17^th century, portraits of the Royal families have included their dogs. Which of course, they should. And lots of breeds have been owned, including Pugs, Labrador Retrievers, Greyhounds, a Collie, King Charles Spaniels (that’s not exactly a surprise) and of course, the Queen’s Corgis. King Edward VII owned a terrier, Caesar, who actually outlived him. Caesar walked behind his master’s coffin in the funeral procession – now that’s devotion.

It’s kind of interesting to look at the dog’s names too. Queen Victoria had a Collie named Noble. Wasn’t THAT fitting. But Queen Elizabeth. Well who KNEW she was a Star Trek fan? She has a Corgi named Vulcan. And obviously she has a sweet tooth – she has another Corgi named Candy.

Anyway – CONGRATULATIONS to the Royal couple – and good luck, Lupo in selecting a name. Remember my suggestion…

Impulse Control Disorder

May 2, 2015Leave a Comment

Impulse control disorder. It’s a problem – in which someone has an inability to resist an urge, or temptation. And they could cause harm to themselves or others. I have it. When it comes to bunnies.

Yesterday morning, while my human was having breakfast, I happened to look out the deck door and down into the yard. And I spotted him. The bunny. So did Frodo. And the crazy PON barking began. Then Paxton joined in. He didn’t know why. But he figured he had better bark too. My human went to look at the bunny – and there he was, calming chomping on our grass that is finally beginning to appear as the snow melts. He didn’t care about the crazy dogs on the other side of the door. He’s pretty clever.

After a minute or so, my human said “OK boys, that’s enough.” Frodo figured he couldn’t get the bunny, and Paxton didn’t know why he was barking in the first place – so they were quiet. Not me. I stood on guard. And the NOISES I made. It sounded like I was being tortured. If someone heard me, they would have called animal control. My human didn’t DARE open the deck door – because she had visions of me jumping over the deck railing into the yard one story below. Seriously. I was THAT crazy. I moaned. I squeaked. I barked. I paced along the door. I stared. And I did it for like 10 minutes. I’m not quite sure exactly what I would do if I came face to face with the bunny. Well. Maybe I do. But my human doesn’t want to find out.

I should probably get treatment for my impulse control problem. It would probably begin with short exposure to the “temptation.” I’m going to advocate for that. Yes. I need treatment. Yes. Just give me a few seconds with that bunny. That’s all I need…

Job description

May 1, 2015Leave a Comment

So you hear about someone getting a puppy or a rescue from a shelter. And it’s their first dog. I started thinking the other day that when someone gets a dog, there should be a “job description” that they agree to sign – because they have LOTS of roles ahead. Here are a few:

· Personal trainer/fitness expert. If you own a dog, it is HIGHLY likely you will get exercise. Most of us canines LOVE a good walk – and you WILL accompany us.

· Behavioral psychologist. If you want us to be good, you have to train us. Or should I say, we ALLOW you to train us. Sometimes.

· Dietician. To keep us healthy and HAPPY – you will have to select food that is good for us. And feed us whenever we want. OK. That part isn’t true. But you DO need to feed us.

· Hair stylist. If you own a PON you will REALLY be expert at this. You have to brush us. And keep us clean. Or you have to send us to a groomer. None of which we enjoy. But it’s not optional in the job.

· Custodian/maid. You own a dog. You have to clean your house. More than if you don’t own a dog. This includes dust bunnies and olfactory art on windows and refrigerator doors.

· Fashion expert. You must be willing to purchase lovely collars and leashes and the obligatory raingear and boots. And some of us like to be color coordinated. And YOUR wardrobe must include pants and sweaters and jackets with pockets. So you can carry our treats. And poop bags.

· Entertainer. We dogs look to you humans for entertainment. That includes playing with toys or throwing a ball. It’s your job. And we will stare at you until you comply. Or we will do something to get your attention. And it may not be something good….

· Referee. If you are lucky enough to own MORE than one of us you will SOMETIMES need to settle “overly excited play.”

· Baker. We canines LOVE homemade biscuits. And it doesn’t REALLY matter what they look like. Or how they taste. Many of us will eat anything.

· Physician’s Assistant. When we hurt ourselves, or we are sick, you must agree to take us to the Vet. And then follow the instructions the Vet gives you. Which may include trying to get us to take a pill. Which we spit out. But you must find ways to get us to take that pill. Hiding it in our food does not work. Peanut butter on the roof of our mouth with the pill is a good trick. If you can catch us first.

· Poopologist. Not only will you monitor WHEN we poop and clean up our poop, but you will also rate our poop. For example, when walking Paxton the other day – the dog we KNOW will eat ANYTHING and who then has…errrrr…soupy poops…my human was heard to exclaim “BEAUTIFUL!” when he had a big poop. Seriously. Good poop can be an exciting thing for dog owners.

· Tough decision maker. When our time to leave you comes…you have to make the hardest decision of your life. And a decision that is not about you. But about us. And don’t worry. We know you do it with love in your heart. That’s why it is so hard to do.

So you humans thinking about getting a dog for the first time – you have quite a job to fill. But trust me….it will be the BEST job of your life.

Look out Hillary

April 30, 2015Leave a Comment

April 30. On this day in 1789, George Washington was inaugurated as the first President of the United States. Shouldn’t it be a US holiday? I guess the US gets his birthday off, or a combo day to mark his birthday and Lincoln’s birthday. But this whole first inauguration thing seems like a bigger day to me. But what do I know. I’m a dog.

And speaking of dogs, on this historic day, I did a little research about Presidents and their dogs. Most people remember dogs like Clinton’s Buddy ( a Lab) and George Bush Sr.’s Millie (a Springer Spaniel) and of course Obama’s current dogs Bo and Sunny who are Portuguese Water Dogs. And if my stats are correct, 32 out of 44 Presidents owned dogs. I’m not certain they all actually lived in the White House but 32 Presidents had dogs as pets at some point in their lives. But not John Quincy Adams. He had silkworms. Talk about boring. Try and make those things retrieve. I bet they would be worse than Paxton.

George Washington himself had American staghounds and Black and Tan Coonhounds. He obviously liked the Hound Group. And having a drink. Two of his dogs were named Drunkard and Tipsy. Seriously.

And lots of other breeds were owned by Presidents – Newfoundlands, a Siberian Husky, an Italian Greyhound, Spaniels, Scottish Terriers, Briards, Bouviers, Goldens, an Irish Setter, a Sheltie, Beagles, German Shepherds, a Great Dane, Bullmastiff – the list goes on. And Franklin D. Roosevelt even had an Old English Sheepdog. But guess what? NO President has owned a PON. Not one.

I suppose I could wait for whoever next gets into office and see if they would like to adopt me. But that would mean giving up my human – and I’m not keen on that idea. So I guess I just need to go back to my original plan – and run for politics myself. Picture me doing zoomies on the White House lawn – with the Secret Service in hot pursuit…

OK. How do I go about getting my name on the ticket? Look out Hillary…

World Wish Day

April 29, 2015Leave a Comment

April 29. World Wish Day. Another interesting human “holiday.” So let’s think about this one. As a PON, I would wish…

· That I could open the garage door where our dog food is stored. And that I could REACH the shelf on which it is stored…and… the rest is obvious.

· That I was taller so I could reach the treat jar on the counter.

· That the iPhone which has the camera – which takes 1,000,0000 pictures of us a week – would disappear

· That all brushes, combs and assorted tools for grooming – would disappear

· That I could walk OFF leash all the time – so that I could chase rabbits, birds, foxes, leaves…whenever I wanted

· That my human would win the lottery so she wouldn’t have to go to work – and she could stay home and play with us all day. But I guess she has to play the lottery first…

· That I could have all of Frodo’s food and Paxton’s food. Even for a week.

· That I would never, ever have to have a bath.

· That I had my very own driverless car. To take me to the pet store. Oh. And that I had my own credit card…

· That I had my own indoor toilet. So I didn’t have to go out in the rain.

· That I could travel to Poland to see the home of my ancestors. 15 times removed.

· That I could lick whatever I wanted without hearing my human say “Viktor – stop it.”

· That dog food came in kielbasa flavor.

So those are my wishes. Hmmmm….they sound a bit selfish. I suppose I SHOULD be wishing for things like no more dog fighting, or an end to canine disease, or world peace. But those are REALLY big. How about this one…that everyone reading my blog smiles once – and has a great day? OK. That’s my wish…And I hope it comes true!

The mud miracle

April 28, 2015Leave a Comment

SPRING has sprung! Although all the snow is STILL not gone in our yard – we ARE beginning to see grass – and we even got to try out our new retrieving toys on the weekend. As you can see from the photo – I LOVED it. I kept retrieving and retrieving – like 100 times. Frodo did it about 12 times and then said, “That’s quite enough. Thank you.” Paxton brought it back 4 times and then went to lie down on a snowbank – and he attempted to destroy it. Typical.

With the spring, and the melting snow, we were FINALLY able to take a walk on the trail near our house. The only problem? Mud. LOTS of mud. And puddles. My human took Frodo and I first. I had to stay on a leash – because…well it’s spring. And we never quite know when I might take off. Frodo on the other hand was let off the leash. So my human and I maneuvered the puddles and muddy ground, while Frodo walked behind us. Several times my human turned around and implored Frodo to come along with us. At one point we turned a bend in the trail and he was out of sight. At this point, my human’s shoes were muddy, and I was also sporting a brown undercoat. We got to a dry area and waited for Frodo. And waited. My human called. And called. She was JUST about to go back and find him – and he appeared. We watched as he was carefully and slowly treading around the last few puddles. And guess what? He reached us and was completely dry. AND no mud. When he got up to us – he just looked at us as if to say “What’s your problem?” It was a mud miracle. Seriously. I don’t know HOW he did it. I don’t think I’ll ever have THAT kind of patience! It’s hard sometimes to believe we are related.

Anyway, I’m just happy that SPRING IS HERE!!!!!! Have a fabulous SPRING day – wherever you are!

Bloopers

April 27, 2015Leave a Comment

A short blog for a Monday morning. But hopefully it will give you a chuckle…

As you know, my human takes LOTS of photos of us….And while she DOES manage to get some good shots…some of the Blooper shots are even MORE fun. Here are a few of our favorites. The Blooper – and the result. Enjoy!!!!

So I guess the moral of the blog? Life will throw you plenty of bloopers. Might as well try to learn from them and maybe even enjoy them – kind of like a “lemons and lemonade” thing!

Have a great day!!!!!

I hate cellphones.

April 25, 2015Leave a Comment

I hate cellphones. Seriously. Well, I guess hate is a strong word. I REALLY dislike cellphones. Why? Because they have cameras.

Once upon a time, people used to carry around a camera to take photos. And my human even had a really nice camera. Until WE knocked it off the tripod when my human attempted a selfie of sorts, with all of us. After NUMEROUS attempts to get us to sit and stay, when the shutter finally clicked we got all excited – and well, the camera no longer worked when it hit the deck. My human got a new camera. But then – along came the iPhone. Which meant – she could carry it with her EVERYWHERE. And we could be subjected to pup-arazzi-like “attacks” at any time. We’re on a nice walk – and the lighting is nice – out comes the iPhone. We are doing something silly – out comes the iPhone. We are forced to wear holiday attire – out comes the iPhone. We have been groomed – out comes the iPhone. We dig in the mud- out comes the iPhone. You get the picture (pun intended).

Paxton and I HATE to see that phone come out. And what is bad about digital photography is that my human will take 1000 pictures to get “the right” shot. What the HECK did she do BEFORE digital photos?! IMAGINE what the development costs would be! The only thing good about these “sessions” is that NUMEROUS treats are involved. It takes FOREVER before Paxton and I will even LOOK at my human.

And then there is Frodo. Take out the iPhone and he TOTALLY LOVES it. I mean REALLY REALLY LOVES it. He will pose. He will smile. He looks happy. He looks serious. He’s thinks he’s a dog model. Honestly. My human took some shots of him the other night. Actually, first she tried to get shots of me. This was a typical result. Me sticking my tongue out.

And THEN we have Frodo. You see his photo above. And here are more. These are not the “pick” photos – our human already posted those on-line. These are some of the “extra” shots. And what’s even WORSE – is the fact that he poses and DOES take treats – but he doesn’t even REALLY need them. He just loves showing off. Maybe I should be his agent.

Paxton and I have been plotting to steal the iPhone. But my human guards it pretty closely. Paxton actually DID take it off the counter once – and my human wondered what it was he had under the table. She saved it in time. There’s just a small dent in the case…We were THAT close. We need a plan… But in the meantime, I need to work out a contract with Frodo. He needs an agent. And I need his treats…

Ghosts.

April 25, 2015Leave a Comment

Our topic today is spooky stuff. …

So. The latest viral photo circulating the net is of a little girl – who apparently has some mysterious boots behind her in a photo. Supposedly, there was no one behind her when the photo was taken– and some are suspecting that it is the ghost of a Samurai warrior because the photo was taken in Japan. Her family attests that the photo is not edited.

Here is the OTHER photo.

Yup. It’s me again. You can see me peeking out over her shoulder. The boots? Those are my human’s rubber boots. Everybody in Nova Scotia owns rubber boots. Or they should. Another mystery solved. No warrior ghost after all.

But speaking of spooky things – the other day, Paxton and I got really spooked out. We were having breakfast with our human and we heard this strange rat-a-tat-tat noise. So we started running around and barking. Then it stopped. Then it happened again. So we AGAIN raced around the room and to the front door. All the time – Frodo was looking at our human and rolling his eyes.

It seems we have some rather strange birds in our neck of the woods. Woodpeckers to be exact. And the strange sound HAS happened before – but Paxton and I forgot. The not-too-bright woodpecker likes to peck away at the metal flashing on our chimney. So the sound comes right down the fireplace and reverberates in the house. Frodo remembered the sound, so he didn’t care – and neither did our human. Paxton and I on the other hand thought it was either a ghost or a burglar. Wrongo.

So that’s my ghost story for today. Not all that scary. My human figures any ghost would be totally scared off by the three of us – and frankly, I agree. Hey. I wonder if there are any stories of ghost dogs…I have to Google it…