Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

My idol

September 6, 2015Leave a Comment

Well, brother Frodo did it. Two trials and two passing scores and two BIG ribbons. He is my idol. Both judges said they had never judged a PON before. They told my human they were impressed! Go figure. I guess he is smarter than I thought. But THEN – not only did he get to compete – he got to be on “display” for a thing called “Meet the Breed.” Now when I found that out, I got really annoyed. That’s MY thing! I did that at the last show. What is Mr. UN-sociable-I-bark-at-every-neighbor doing in such an OBVIOUSLY sociable activity? I’m the social butterfly.

When he and my human got home – both of them wanted to relax for a few minutes. But not me. Come ON. I was home with Bucket Head all day – I wanted to DO something. I paced. I squeaked. I repeatedly licked and sniffed Frodo – even after my human said I should stop. My human wanted to relax for just a FEW minutes. But I got my way. She couldn’t stand the pacing. I got to do MY all time favorite thing. Retrieving.

Hey. I think we figured out why Paxton gets the soupy poops. Or I think we did. Actually, my human figured this one out. You see, when Paxton goes out on the deck, he is like a vacuum cleaner. He sucks up EVERY dried, rotting, moldy leaf that has blown on the deck – and any other inedible organic thing he can find. So now my human has to check the deck when we go out there, pick up every leaf – and make sure the thing is totally clear. Going to be GREAT fun when we are fully into fall. THIS I have to watch.

Have a good one! I better go practice some obedience so I can be in the next show. But then, I’m ALWAYS obedient – right?

Good luck bro

September 5, 2015Leave a Comment

Well. Another good news, bad news day. First off, Frodo had the inevitable bath yesterday. He was NOT happy. The price one pays to be a dog show dog. Even though he’s not even in the beauty pageant today. But he does look good, and smells better – or so my human thinks! That’s the good news.

So he is entered in something called Rally Excellent Obedience this weekend. Which is more about brains than beauty. And my human THOUGHT he was entered in three trials. But she kind of wondered why she never received the confirmation for the third trial. Seems they are not entered after all. Not sure what button she didn’t press, but they are just entered today – in two trials. Oh well. That’s the bad news. Although Frodo doesn’t care.

Our human got up and walked us at the crack of dawn – even though the show site is like 6.9 minutes from our house – and they are not entered until 10:00. It’s kind of crazy how nervous she gets. Seriously. It’s a DOG SHOW. You are not doing a speech for 300 people – or going on live radio or TV. That she CAN do without getting nervous. But tell her she has to walk around in a gated arena with one of us – and you would think she was jumping out of a plane! Frodo KNOWS something is up. He figured it out yesterday with the bath. Now he keeps following her around – and watching EVERY move she makes. It’s really quite amusing. As I said before – better him than me.

So good luck bro. Just don’t pee on anything. Or run out of the ring. Or bark at the judge. I hope you pass. And you are the best PON there. OK. You will be the ONLY PON there. So do us proud!

"Their" bad

September 4, 2015Leave a Comment

OK. So this is funny. My human likes to take these crazy quizzes on line that are basically mumbo jumbo, and not based in any science or psychology. But she does them for fun. Like “what kind of dog would you be” or “how old are you at heart” or “how long will you live” or “what is the best way to waste time on the computer.” OK – I made that last one up. But you get the point. So anyway, she took the quiz to find out what name her parents SHOULD have given her. I was guessing Bertha or Henrietta or Agnes. But no – guess what she got? VICTORIA!!! JUST like me! Well, the female version of me. Spelled differently. See. We are “connected.” That’s why she loves me best.

Speaking of loving me best…Frodo and Paxton got in trouble yesterday – for a CHANGE. Thank goodness. You see….my human hardly ever has time to read – but she has always loved to read. She was able to read a whole book while she was away – and she purchased two more. Wonder why she managed to read a book while she was away from us…. Anyway she started one the other night – when she was in bed. Big mistake. She falls asleep before she gets though 2 pages. Might have something to do with the fact that she stays up late – and gets up at 6AM to walk us. Vacation or no vacation. We demand it. We are creatures of habit.

So, she fell asleep – with the book on the bed. Fast forward to the next day. The bed was made – but the book was still on it. My human was ironing some clothes – another crazy human task – I mean things get wrinkled as soon as you sit down. What’s the point of ironing? But what do I know. Back to the story. While she was ironing she came in the bedroom and found Bucket Head on the bed. She told him to get down. She finished her ironing and then went to do some work on the computer – which was on the dining room table. She was working away and suddenly heard chomp-chomp-chomp. She looked under the table and there was Frodo – eating the spine of the book – which Paxton had obviously carried there – because it was a BIG book. I was no where NEAR the scene of the crime. This was TOTALLY “their bad.”

My human scolded Frodo, who just shrugged his shoulders and walked away. Paxton wouldn’t make eye contact. And I basked in the joy knowing I had nothing to do with the bad behavior. For a change! Mind you, the book wasn’t about dogs, so I can’t blame the boys for trying to destroy it.

I’ve said it before – and I’ll say it again. Never a dull moment!

What’s that smell?

September 3, 2015Leave a Comment

So we talked about the groom-a-thon that we had when my human got home from her holiday. Frodo required the SUPER DUPER brush out, where he was able to practice his professional wrestling skills.

But despite the fact that we were brushed until we filled a garbage bag with enough hair to form another dog, my human thinks Frodo still has a rather er…earthy aroma. I think he smells fine.

Anyway, while she was at the store buying our $1000 gourmet dog food, she saw this all natural conditioner spray – that comes in several fragrances. She smelled each bottle and decided on one called Puppy. I don’t think you have to be a puppy to use it – and she liked it better than peppermint patty or mango tango or something like that. It had a nice fragrance. She thought.

So she got home and used it on Frodo. Mmmmmm. He smelled good enough to eat. Like something you would find in a candy store.

But like all good things…they sometimes come to an end. Yesterday when my human was training Frodo, she got a whiff of his coat. This was after it got damp running in the wet grass. Hmmmm….it no longer smelled like a candy store. What WAS that aroma? And then she had an olfactory memory. Ever ride in an old, beat up taxi, which if it could talk, would write a best seller – with some pretty sordid parts. A taxi that ONCE allowed smoking but no longer does. A taxi whose driver tries to cover up the offending odors with one of those scented cardboard things that hangs off the mirror. If you know the smell – you now know what Frodo smells like. “Ewwwww,” my human said, “you stink.” Frodo doesn’t care. He just likes to do his training. But now my human can’t get that vision and smell out of her mind.

My guess is brother Frodo may be having a bath before the show on the weekend. He is NOT going to be a happy camper. Better him than me!

Just stuff

September 2, 2015Leave a Comment

Well, things have returned to “normal here.” I have no lasting effects from my run-in with the walking pin cushion. My human checked me all over again, and AGAIN – and it appears every needle is GONE. I felt fine once they were all out. It was the going in and coming out that was the problem! My human is still amazed I didn’t chip any teeth while trying to snap at those pliers. A broken tooth on top of the quills would have REALLY set the night off.

The bathroom reno is in the home stretch. It may be ready for my human to try out the shower on Thursday. I’m not suggesting we join her.

Frodo did some training yesterday while Paxton and I got to do fetching. I am a fetching machine. And I didn’t even think for a second about running off in the woods. For now.

I hate to say this – and my human doesn’t want to think it – but I could smell “fall” in the air yesterday. Fall has a unique smell. A pungent but sweet smell as foliage begins to die off slowly and the plants and trees get ready to change their attire. My human noticed that a chipmunk has dug a HUGE mound in one of our flower beds – probably to get ready for the winter. I haven’t seen him yet. Which is just as well, because his happy home could quickly become ruins. Just give me a chance.

You know – I started wondering yesterday if the whole porcupine incident was a coincidence. I’m wondering if Paxton was behind it. I mean, everyone KNOWS I torment Paxton mercilessly. I lick him until he is sopping wet – or until my human shouts “stop.” I sometimes growl at him when he comes in a room. Just because. And yesterday, he WAS pretty bummed out that Frodo and I were going to the match. Even though my human’s mother was there for company.

Rumor has it he knows some porcupines. When I asked him if he had anything to do with it, he said “no.” But he DID wink at me. Maybe I had better start being nicer to him…

Excuse me while I go chipmunk hunting….at least those guys don’t have quills!

Rally. Really?

August 31, 2015Leave a Comment

I should have figured something was up. On Saturday, my human got out a pile of treats – and stuffed them in her pockets. Hmmmmm. We had just been groomed – so it couldn’t be THAT again.

So she announced – “We are going outside. One by one. Viktor first.” Did I ever mention I am always first? Probably because if I am NOT first, I scream bloody murder. Yes, I know that’s bad. It means I am a bit of a brat. But let’s face it – I’m a lovable brat.

Anyway, I went outside – and found out that it was time for some rally “training.” I LOVE training. In fact, I get SO excited, my head explodes. I can’t even THINK straight. I spin, I twirl, I squeak. When I am asked to sit in heel position, I LEAP into my spot. My human has to get me to CALM down – and start thinking. Which I eventually do – because I don’t get treats if I’m acting like a Tasmanian Devil. So we did “exercises” – the kind you do in something called “Rally Obedience”. And then it was Frodo’s turn. Frodo is MUCH more controlled when he is training. Although he DOES bark. A LOT. Especially if he does something wrong – and my human asks him to do it again. Boy – you should hear him complain!!!

And then it was Pax’s turn. Pax drools throughout his training. And it takes him 2 minutes to chew a treat the size of a kernel of corn. His training session is usually shorter than my or Frodo’s.

And why the sudden training blitz? Well. I think I mentioned that Frodo is entered is some kind of contest next weekend. And since he has done no training in….hmmmmmm….months – my human figured it was time to cram. In addition, APPARENTLY we are BOTH entered in some kind of Rally Team event, later in the month. My human was contacted by some dog friends – who were forming a team. Their dogs bark a lot – and they were trying to think of two other dogs to be on the team. When they thought of dogs that bark, for SOME reason they thought of us. Go figure. Now THAT will be entertaining. Watch for the video – I’m sure it will go viral.

I also JUST heard that Frodo and I are going to some kind of practice match- TONIGHT. I haven’t even had time to prepare. My human better be taking some REALLY, REALLY good treats -if she wants to avert total public embarrassment. Just getting the two of us IN the door will be fun. Lots of dogs. Lots of people. Lots to smell. Olfactory overload – and total brain explosion. I can hardly wait!

Stay tuned for more rally updates. And don’t forget…soon we will ALSO be going herding. Now THAT will be extra entertaining!!!

Have a good one!

The frog.

August 30, 2015Leave a Comment

So the night before last, my human went to take each of us out for our last pee before bed. We go out on a leash, because you never know WHAT might be out in the dark – foxes, rabbits, birds, deer, raccoons, fireflies – and the other night, a very terrifying creature. One that I wasn’t prepared for. A frog.

We were walking back to the house and just as we were a few feet from the entry, a frog jumped into our path and sat RIGHT in front of the door. I didn’t know WHAT he was, but my human held me back as she didn’t have an appetite for frog’s legs. And she didn’t want me to have them either. So we stood there. A dog and a human. Staring at a frog. Who wouldn’t move. My human stomped her foot. He wouldn’t move. She stomped closer. He wouldn’t move. She couldn’t open the door – as he would go in – and meet Frodo and Paxton waiting for him. So my human picked up the entry mat, and nudged him with it. Well. He leaped into the air, toward me – and I leaped 3 feet into the air – backward. I think he may even have hit me in the scramble – but the last thing I saw was the frog hopping into the bushes. Phew. WHAT an experience. Give me a bunny any day – they never jump AT you!

Otherwise, my human’s lip is starting to look like it belongs to her again. And not like she went for some kind of lopsided lip enhancement. And speaking of lopsided…my human noticed during the groom-a-thon a.k.a. wrestling match the other day that Frodo is sporting the asymmetrical look with his ears again. Thanks to moi. I love to trim Frodo’s ears. Well – just one ear. It gives him a unique, trendy, uneven look. I think it’s cool. My human on the other hand, does not appreciate my hairstyling abilities. Good thing he is not entered in any beauty pageants soon.

Well, it’s about time to do some fetching. Actually, any time is good for fetching. Gotta go. Have a great day!

Oops.

August 29, 20151 Comment

So yesterday began with my human sporting a bloody fat lip. All before she even got out of bed. Provided by a projectile PON who was SO happy to wake her up. Yes. That would be me. At the very moment I was in mid air about to leap onto her chest and to greet the new day, my human went to get up and WHAM. I got her. I got her good. Oops. Sorry…….

While she was checking for blood – which of course there was, Paxton decided to join the party – and so did Frodo. Yes. We are the dogs who are “not allowed” on the bed. I have actually been sneaking up every night – my human awoke in the middle of the night to find me comfortably situated right behind her legs. No wonder she found it so warm sleeping.

Anyway, she’s still on vacation and yesterday was a HUGE celebration. The tile guy FINALLY finished the tile work in the bathroom! The project, which is taking longer than it probably took to build the Colosseum, had been put on hold while my human was away – she didn’t want to burden the dog sitter with renovations – on TOP of looking after us. So the reno resumed the day after she returned. Now the next step includes installation of the shower door, the toilet, the sink and the cabinet. Maybe THEN we’ll actually be allowed to take a look around. I hope we like it. Honestly humans – it really IS easier just to poop in the woods. And cheaper.

It’s a sunny day. Time for some zoomies. Have a good one!

Frodo. The contender.

August 28, 2015Leave a Comment

Ever hear of the World Wrestling Federation? Or World Wrestling Entertainment, as it is now called? It’s not REAL wrestling – it’s basically entertainment that looks like wrestling – and no doubt feels like wrestling at times, but it’s not a REAL contest. My apologies to anyone who may not have known that – and who actually believed it was legitimate wrestling. I’m sorry I ruined the illusion.

Well I am here to tell you that Frodo is trying out for the WWE. Seriously.

One of the challenges of going away on holidays, besides Paxton’s gastrointestinal issues, is the fact that while our sitter takes WONDERFUL care of us…she doesn’t groom us. Yes, when our human walks in the door, our sitter has painstakingly managed to put our hair in topknots – or in what many call “pineapple head” – but that’s as far as the grooming goes.

So yesterday, my human had to give us the complete brush down. Now I’m not a HUGE challenge when it comes to grooming. I wiggle a bit, but I QUITE enjoy the copious amounts of treats doled out through the process. And honestly, my coat is not all that hard to manage.

But then we have Frodo. The WWE contender.

Frodo wiggles, squirms and moans throughout the entire ordeal. He cries. He squeaks. He pants. Like he is being tortured. My human has to practically lean on him with one arm while she brushes with the other. But, the SECOND my human steps away from the table to grab another treat from the pile, he pops his head up, rolls over and looks JUST fine. No panting. No obvious pain. He’s not in agony. The whole wrestling match thing is a farce. It’s an act to make it look like he is being murdered. And he is EXCELLENT at it. Honestly, his performance is Oscar material. Look out Lassie.

Now mind you – the wrestling that my human has to do IS real. After several hours with the two of us, she looked at Paxton and said “later buddy.” She then went in the house and collapsed on the couch.

When Frodo was finished, I should add, he happily jumped off the table and proudly shook himself off. He didn’t appear to be in any pain after the “grueling” battle. He is DEFINITELY a candidate for WWE. And I’ll be his agent.

National Banana Lovers Day

August 27, 2015Leave a Comment

August 27. National Banana Lovers Day. The dogs in our household LOVE bananas. It was my human’s mother who started us on the banana trend. One day after breakfast when she was visiting, she asked my human if she could “share” a piece of banana with each of us. BIG mistake. Now whenever someone is eating a banana, we sit and stare at them – and Paxton does his best drool routine. Works every time.

Speaking of Bucket Head, he had his usual “gastrointestinal” issues a few days after my human went on her holiday. Happens every time. Paxton loves the sitter – we ALL do – but any change in routine and the big guy gets…sorry for being graphic – but the soupy poops. He’s a Momma’s boy if there ever was one. My human hasn’t been home for 24 hours and he is back to “normal.” Well, normal in the poop department anyway. Frodo and I, on the other hand, are thankfully, “regular” kinds of guys. We know how humans stress over our poop – so it’s a good thing two of us don’t have “those issues” too.

OK. Enough on that topic –especially if you are enjoying breakfast.

Today is also Thoughtful Thursday. A day to do something nice for someone else. Let’s see – what would be a thoughtful gesture? Well – we did one already – we let our human sleep in until 6:30AM – because she’s still on vacation. I think that’s pretty thoughtful! Mind you – we weren’t in a hurry to go out because it is raining….

I know what you humans can do to be thoughtful – give your dog a piece of a banana. That way you get two celebrations in one. Perfect. But remember – no banana peels and everything in moderation!

Excuse me while I watch Paxton drool.