Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

Haircuts and the soggy bunny

April 9, 2016Leave a Comment

Busted. Beginning another hairstyling session

And so our rather mundane new life continues. Velcro dog is sticking to my human, the neighbors are on alert for a bear, and yours truly continues to entertain and amaze my human with continual energy and non-stop antics. My human has realized that I never have “down time.” My new name should be Busy. Busy Gumby. If I’m going out for a walk – I MUST leap up and down in front of the door before it opens. When I go out the door – I must jump back and forth in front of Velcro dog – barking at him. He, of course, grumbles at me – but basically ignores me. As much as one can ignore another canine leaping in front of his face as he walks. And should my human call me, I must RACE to her, sit for an instant and race off again. I must NEVER, ever stand still. I love to dart. Darting Busy Gumby. That’s me.

And in the house I must keep equally busy. Yesterday, my human went to get a haircut. WHAT a waste of money. I could have cut her hair in a lovely 70’s style shag haircut. JUST like Velcro dog’s hair. EVERY chance I get, I trim his hair. First I begin by dampening the hair. And then I gently chew it off. Unless my human catches me first. She has no appreciation for my skill. Honestly, I could give a human a BEAUTIFUL trim. Perhaps while she is asleep…

And in other mundane news, the birds are now eating us out of house and home. Yes – they have found the feeder and as fast as my human can fill it, they empty it. And it’s a BIG feeder. I’m just hoping my human doesn’t default to our dog food if she runs out of bird feed. And to make matters worse – yesterday when she went to fill the feeder – with a 1000 lb bag of seed, (OK maybe not THAT much – but it was a BIG bag), she slipped, and spilled half the bag. The feeder is perfect because only little birds can access the feeder. But the 500 lbs she spilled on the lawn was open buffet for every large bird in a 100 mile radius. I’m sure there were condors out there. And we don’t even HAVE condors around here. And now when my human opens the front door, it is my JOB to chase those big birds. Remember – I must never stand still.

Today my human is off, so I expect multiple games of fetch and a few rounds of “Find the Bunny.” I must say…the game isn’t quite the same without the soggy bunny – which would be after Paxton played… But we think of him when we play, and maybe, in his memory, I’ll drop the bunny in our water bowl so he’ll be soggy again. Really. It would only be fitting….

Have a great day.

Return of the bear.

April 8, 2016Leave a Comment

Well, as you know, my last few blogs have been understandably heavy. Our world has changed – and it’s hard not to talk about it. We cry. You cry. And you share in this journey – which those who have been owned by dogs know all about…

And I’ve been trying hard to find something to brighten the blog – even just a little. And just like the signs from Paxton, we get signs from the “Big Guy” that it’s OK to laugh. And we NEED to laugh…. So my human did smile about this – and I hope you will too…

You see, it seems I have caused a bit of a panic in our neighborhood…. Yup – yours truly is causing chaos – but this time I didn’t even KNOW I was causing chaos. Remember my blog about the bear? The April Fools bear? Well….it seems that one of our neighbors read my blog that day. But, unfortunately, she didn’t scroll down and read the WHOLE blog. So she missed the April Fools part… So you guessed it. She has been spreading the news that we have a bear lurking in the woods around our road. And she has told people about the crazed PONs. One man, who is actually KNOWN to fabricate stories, said he thinks he even saw bear poop at the golf course down the road. My human has visions of all the neighbors on our road now walking armed with bear bells and pepper spray. Now it’s not to say that we COULDN’T have a bear – but the one that was chased into the tree by two crazed PONs doesn’t exist. At least not yet!

Have a good day. Take time to smile. And watch out for bears!

© Linda Wozniak

The third sign…

April 7, 20161 Comment

The past few days I have written about some “signs” that we felt were from Paxton. The sun breaking through the clouds..the geese and the ducks. Now some would argue that those are coincidence. That we are looking for things to reassure us that he is OK. And perhaps that is true. But if you believe that life is never really “over” – you do believe in signs. My human is a pretty scientific person. Especially in her job. She wants to see “proof.” But she does believe in signs. And she does have faith. And they say that things come in threes…

Yesterday morning, my human was showering to get ready for work. Frodo and I are quite happy with the new rule that has changed – the “dogs aren’t allowed on the bed rule.” Well – I’m not so certain the rule has really CHANGED – but we certainly took advantage of the chance while my human was taking her shower. We don’t want to go anywhere NEAR the bathroom when she is in the wet glass box. Honestly – we won’t even STEP in the doorway for fear she will open the door and drag us in.

Anyway, my human came out of the shower and was getting dressed and ready for work. And putting on the strange human warpaint. And she heard something in the other room. And so did Frodo and I. And we BOLTED to the kitchen. My human expected the riotous barking that accompanies the cavalry. But all she heard was one bark by Frodo. That was it. She thought it odd, but continued to get ready for work. And we boys came back to our cozy positions on the bed.

My human completed her ritual and went into the kitchen. And there, in the middle of the floor, was a big tuft of hair. Black hair. And she looked at it. And looked at it. And she picked it up and threw it in the garbage. And then she went back to the garbage and took it out and had to take another look. Yes. It WAS black hair…. And my human smiled…

You see, Paxton had this habit – which actually annoyed my human to no end. Every morning, he had this habit of pulling a piece of hair off of his tail. He didn’t do it anywhere else on his body. And he didn’t do it at any other time during the day. Just once – in the morning. And my human would say to him “BUDDY – you are going to have a naked tail!” And he would spit the hair out. She tried spraying something on his tail to make him stop but it had no effect. It’s kind of like humans who play with their hair – or bite their nails. So my human got used to picking up a hunk of Paxton hair each morning. But the last week of Paxton’s life, he never touched his tail. He just didn’t feel well. At all…

Now some will argue that it was my hair or Frodo’s hair. I assure you. It was BLACK. Jet black. And some might argue that it had been on the floor, and we just hadn’t noticed it. This was right in the MIDDLE of the tile floor. And my human has thoroughly vacuumed twice since Paxton left us.

You may not believe this story – but I assure you – it is not an April Fools joke. It happened. And honestly, we truly believe it was sign. Our big brother isn’t with us. But he is. And he’s OK. He’s really OK…

© Linda Wozniak

Top dog, Gumby, and the rule changes.

April 6, 2016Leave a Comment

When we dogs own humans – and there are more than one of us in a household, there is a barking order. I’m not calling it a pecking order – that’s for chickens. With us dogs, it’s a barking order. Often the oldest dog in the house is the “top dog.” Well not REALLY. The human is always the “TOP top dog.” Or at least they think they are.

In our house, Paxton was the oldest. And Frodo totally respected Paxton. There was never so much as a grumble between them. Then I came along…. And I tried very hard at times to be the “top dog.” I was sometimes bossy with Paxton. Who tolerated my nonsense. Now I feel kind of badly that I was bossy with him…

Frodo on the other hand, has never tolerated ANY nonsense from me. If I attempt to challenge him, he can flip me over and grumble LOUDLY IN MY FACE before I can even blink. And then the disagreement is over. And we lick and make up. Well. I lick. Frodo shakes himself off and walks away. But the interesting thing – Frodo NEVER starts these wrestling matches. EVER. It has always been yours truly. Always.

Well now that Paxton is gone…things are different. Very different. For example… Frodo likes to go to the big bin where the dog food is kept. And he balances on two legs trying desperately to get a mouthful of food. At which point my human shouts “Stop” and he gets down and walks away. Or she pulls him away.

The day before yesterday, Frodo attempted his acrobatic food stealing. My human told him to stop. Which he did. And THEN, yours truly decided to try that trick. I’ve never done it before. Well. Frodo warned me to stop. And he warned me to stop again. And THEN he MADE me stop. Frodo has NEVER ever started a disagreement with me. I think he is trying to let me know that he is now the “top dog.” And I had better learn to respect that. The disagreement lasted 2.7 seconds. Point well taken.

Frodo is also doing other things. For example, Paxton always used to lie next to my human. If she was reading, working on the computer, eating a meal – Paxton was THERE. And Frodo has always been a dog who wants to be in the same ROOM as my human – but he has never stuck to her like glue. Except now that has changed too. He is like Velcro. It fact, I think that’s what I’ll call him from now on. Velcro.

It’s challenging, because I just don’t know what the rules are now. Nobody gave me the revised Operations Manual. I’m sure I’ll learn what to do. But my goodness, this is tough. Good thing I’m such a flexible kind of guy. I sure need to be flexible right now. Just call me Gumby.

Goose. Goose. Duck.

April 5, 2016Leave a Comment

So. Life goes on. It is a different life for us right now. But still a life of wonder and surprises. Like yesterday morning. It was a COLD morning -which was OK because we got to go for a walk on the trail because the ground was frozen. Otherwise we wouldn’t have attempted it – it would have been WAY too muddy after a rainy weekend. Frodo and mud puddles do NOT go together. It’s like walking a 40 lb bag of potatoes.

As we were walking, just after dawn, we were approaching a pond. My human always calls it Harper’s pond. Harper was a Bernese I never knew. Apparently Harper would stop at the pond and listen for the frogs. Then he would let out a HUGE bark. Every day. As if to say hello.

And as we were approaching the pond – my human spotted – and heard something. Two geese. On the pond. Frodo and I couldn’t see them at first – there was a hill blocking our view. But when we spotted them – holy moly – we were mesmerized. Those are BIG birds. Bigger than the birds we have been chasing from the feeder the past few days. WAY bigger. And I wanted those geese. Frodo QUICKLY figured out that to get those geese, one would have to get wet. So his interest disintegrated. On the other hand, it took me longer to figure that out. Mind you, I was also on a leash so there was virtually no chance I could get them. My human had that leash in a death grip. And then do you know what happened? A duck arrived. By himself. Two geese and a duck. Kind of like two PONs and a Berner. The duck wasn’t with the geese, but he kind of was. I think it was another sign from you know who….And they all then floated quietly on the water. While two PONs were dragged along the path…

My human had to work yesterday. But as she was leaving, she rambled on about maybe taking us to work one day. Which sounds like fun. BUT she also said something about GROOMING first. So apparently one has to be presentable to go to work. I think I’ll pass.

We are being well behaved. And I must tell you – it is hard work. It is just not in my nature. But I’m trying…Mind you we DID have a little “incident” yesterday- I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.

Have a good day…

© Linda Wozniak

Afterwards. After words…

April 4, 2016Leave a Comment

Afterwards. After words…

It’s hard to explain what our house is like right now. There is something missing. The choir is missing a member. The buffet is missing a diner. The border patrol is short one officer.

I honestly never knew that humans could blow their noses so many times. Frodo is definitely out of sorts. And me? I am DESPERATELY trying to provide some comic relief. THAT is my job right now. And while I will never be able to fill Paxton’s pawprints, I decided I should do some of the things he did. For example – yesterday, I tried to steal a tissue from my human’s pocket. Paxton was a pro pocket-tissue-thief. So I learned from the best. And I was successful. For about 3 seconds. And then I had to give up my bounty.

And do you know what happened yesterday morning when we went out on our walk? No – no bears or bunnies. It was a dark, and rather cloudy morning. And just as we approached the driveway, the clouds parted and the sun shone through. We know who that was. Telling us he is just fine.

Thanks to SO many people who called, sent us hugs, condolences and warm thoughts and memories of my big brother. We can’t begin to thank each and every one of you – but know that each message – as hard as it is – lifted our lonely sadness. It is so amazing to know that so many of you loved Paxton and felt you knew him – even though you never met him! I am so happy to have shared him with all of you…

Humans – hug your dogs today. And you canines – do what you do best. Provide that unconditional love that we do so well. And MAYBE just a little badness – just to keep things interesting…

And then there were two.

April 3, 20162 Comments

It is almost impossible for me to write my blog today…My handsome, big tri-colored brother, my protector, my partner in runaway crime…is gone. He has gone to that place they call the Rainbow Bridge – where he is meeting Barney, Schubert, Guinness, Beamish and Harper. And my human is sure her father has a big handful of treats waiting for Pax.

He was not well this past week, and while he was eating, he was very, very weak. My human took him to the Vet yesterday, hoping they could make him better. But his test results came back – and the news was not what we had hoped for. He had an aggressive type of cancer, which is sadly often found in Bernese.

When you humans are owned by us dogs, you make so many decisions. What puppy to pick. What to name us. What to feed us. How to train us. What horrible attire to make us wear. Where to let us sleep. What Vet to take us to. And when you humans have to make the ultimate decision, don’t ever let it cloud all the wonderful memories you have with us. Because every decision you make is because you love us. Every single one…

My human is sad. Very sad. And we realize what has happened – so we are sad too. We are behaving very well – we know that out human needs our help – and not our badness right now. Well. Maybe not Frodo’s badness. He’s not often bad. But yours truly… that’s another story. But I’m am being very, very good. She really needs us right now…

Tag. You’re it….

April 2, 2016Leave a Comment

Well. Apparently I was able to fool quite a few humans yesterday with my bear story yesterday. My human said that given my usual bad behaviour and the fact that we live in the boonies, the story WAS credible. And get this – a friend of my human said that a mother bear and her cub HAVE been spotted not far from where we live. So we WILL have to be careful!

Guess what? After having a winter without a SINGLE bird on the fancy feeder – the birds FINALLY discovered the buffet. It may have something to do with the fact that my human moved the feeder further from the house. After she thought we had squirrels in the attic. Because of the feeder. Well we have no squirrels in the attic – but we FINALLY do have birds. And they eat more than Frodo and I combined. Who knew that little birds could eat so much? As long as my human doesn’t decide to put any of OUR food in that feeder.

Speaking of food – Paxton is eating every day. If my human feeds him by hand. But he still has no energy. I want my big bad brother back. I hope the doctors can soon figure out how to make him better…

Today is April 2 and the first Saturday in April. Which according to the crazy calendar is “Every Day is Tag Day”. It is a day to encourage pet owners to tag or microchip their pets. That way, if your dog (or cat) is lost, he can be reunited with you if he is found. All of us in this house have chips. My human wishes the chips would also allow us to be tracked by GPS – that way she could follow our every move. Like when I take off in the woods. The technology to do GPS tracking IS almost there – but she hasn’t found the perfect device just yet. Many of the devices have a short range – and we all know, I’m a long range kind of guy. Honestly, I don’t know what all the fuss is about when I go on a bunny hop, or a fox trot – I KNOW WHERE I LIVE. I honestly believe I own THE most neurotic human ON THE PLANET. I think her middle name is worry. She needs to take a lesson from ME. I NEVER worry. Unless supper is not on time…..

That’s the news from our corner of the world. Have a great Saturday!

The B-E-A-R……

April 1, 2016Leave a Comment

Oh my GOODNESS. We sure had excitement here last night. Well –actually this morning…

It was about 2:30 AM and Paxton gave his classic “Boof – boof” call while my human was sound asleep. Which meant he wanted to go out. My human looked at him, crawled out of bed and threw on her attractive dog-hair covered sweat pants and matching drool-covered top – over her pajamas. He didn’t appear to be in a huge hurry – but my human figured he better go out. She put on her trusty headlamp, and out they went. Into the front yard.

And when they went out – she noticed that our green bin – which holds organic waste – including the 5 unfinished cans of dog food that Paxton didn’t want to eat last week – was knocked over. And it’s a BIG bin. So as she was standing there, and Paxton was having a 2 minute pee – WHAT came around the corner of the house?! A BEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My human froze. And so did Paxton. Now the good news – Paxton doesn’t really go crazy about wildlife. He’s curious, but doesn’t pull to go and meet other animals. The bear looked as surprised as my human and Paxton were. And my human quickly surmised that they could slowly walk back into the house. EXCEPT….the door had not been completely closed. And GUESS who ELSE spotted the bear? Me. And Frodo. And GUESS who knows how to open the door? Bam. Frodo and I were OUT that door. Barking like CRAZY. My human shouted “NOOOOOOOOOO” at the top of her lungs. So now everyone within a 10 mile radius was probably awake. The bear took one look at the raging fuzzy creatures and bolted for the nearest tree. And up he went. With two PONs in hot pursuit. We didn’t know what we were going to do with him – but we did know, we wanted him OUT of our yard. My human raced in the house and grabbed two leashes and raced back out – imploring us to come to her. Frodo DID go back – but not me. I mean this was better than a bunny!!!!!! The bear was up in the tree – I never knew they could climb so fast. My human cautiously approached the base of the tree -while I was frantically running around the bottom, barking like MAD. She grabbed me and pulled me away, while watching the bear. And do you know what she said to me? …

Keep scrolling….

April Fool! Did I get you again this year?! My human is afraid that since I made this up – with my luck, it will now come true! I say nah – what bear in his right mind would EVER come in OUR yard?!

Now let me see what other pranks I can play today!

OK. I confess…

March 31, 2016Leave a Comment

OK. I confess. I was bad. I mean I might as well confess – because, after all, I was caught red handed – or should I say, red pawed. My badness streak was actually on Tuesday. I did SEVERAL naughty things. Starting in the morning…

First off, I have decided that it is GREAT fun to stare out the window and bark – if the bunny is there – or even if I THINK he is out there somewhere. So while my human was getting her breakfast, I stood and barked and growled. At nothing. Sending my brothers into an unnecessary frenzy. Great fun.

THEN, my human put her breakfast on the table, and stepped away for 4.6 seconds to get her coffee. I assumed she had left it for me. She turned around just in time to see me standing with two paws on a chair, and JUST starting to take a bite. Ever hear a banshee scream? That was my human as she raced across the room. OK. OK. I was just checking to be sure it was safe for her to eat. Seriously – chill out.

While she went to work, I behaved – I had to rest up for more naughtiness when she got home. And that’s when I did my grand finale for the day. My human had left one of her favorite fleece jackets on the bed. And she went in the bathroom. Now we know we aren’t allowed on the bed. In theory. So when she stepped out of the bathroom and saw me on the bed, she didn’t get too stressed. Until she noticed that I was DOING something. “Hey” she said “WHAT are you doing?” I think she thought I was chewing one of the pillows – another favorite activity. Nope. I was chewing a hole in the pocket of her fleece. BECAUSE – there were TREATS in the pocket. I mean WHAT do you expect?! All of her clothes have treats in the pockets. And treats are meant to be eaten! But bad enough I chewed the inside of the pocket…I kind of put a hole right through the front of the fleece. I created easy treat access. I was doing her a favor. Kind of.

My human was NOT impressed with my antics. Good thing I’m cute. Looks like I’ll have to be on my best behavior for the next few days to make up for my naughtiness. Well – a few days might be a bit much to ask. I’ll be good today. One day at a time….

© Linda Wozniak