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It is almost impossible for me to write my blog today…My handsome, big tri-colored brother, my protector, my partner in runaway crime…is gone.  He has gone to that place they call the Rainbow Bridge – where he is meeting Barney, Schubert, Guinness, Beamish and Harper.  And my human is sure her father has a big handful of treats waiting for Pax.

Today is April 2 and the first Saturday in April.  Which according to the crazy calendar is “Every Day is Tag Day”.  It is a day to encourage pet owners to tag or microchip their pets.  That way, if your dog (or cat) is lost, he can be reunited with you if he is found.  All of us in this house have chips.  My human wishes the chips would also allow us to be tracked by GPS – that way she could follow our every move.  Like when I take off in the woods.  The technology to do GPS tracking IS almost there – but she hasn’t found the perfect device just yet.  Many of the devices have a short range – and we all know, I’m a long range kind of guy.  Honestly, I don’t know what all the fuss is about when I go on a bunny hop, or a fox trot – I KNOW WHERE I LIVE.  I honestly believe I own THE most neurotic human ON THE PLANET.  I think her middle name is worry.  She needs to take a lesson from ME.  I NEVER worry.  Unless supper is not on time…..

Oh my GOODNESS.  We sure had excitement here last night.  Well –actually this morning…

OK.  I confess.  I was bad.  I mean I might as well confess – because, after all, I was caught red handed – or should I say, red pawed.  My badness streak was actually on Tuesday.  I did SEVERAL naughty things.  Starting in the morning…

First off, I have decided that it is GREAT fun to stare out the window and bark – if the bunny is there – or even if I THINK he is out there somewhere.  So while my human was getting her breakfast, I stood and barked and growled.  At nothing.  Sending my brothers into an unnecessary frenzy.  Great fun. 

THEN, my human put her breakfast on the table, and stepped away for 4.6 seconds to get her coffee.  I assumed she had left it for me.  She turned around just in time to see me standing with two paws on a chair, and JUST starting to take a bite.  Ever hear a banshee scream?  That was my human as she raced across the room. OK.  OK.  I was just checking to be sure it was safe for her to eat.  Seriously – chill out.

While she went to work, I behaved – I had to rest up for more naughtiness when she got home.  And that’s when I did my grand finale for the day.  My human had left one of her favorite fleece jackets on the bed.  And she went in the bathroom.  Now we know we aren’t allowed on the bed.  In theory.  So when she stepped out of the bathroom and saw me on the bed, she didn’t get too stressed.  Until she noticed that I was DOING something.  “Hey” she said “WHAT are you doing?”  I think she thought I was chewing one of the pillows – another favorite activity.  Nope.  I was chewing a hole in the pocket of her fleece.  BECAUSE – there were TREATS in the pocket.  I mean WHAT do you expect?!  All of her clothes have treats in the pockets.  And treats are meant to be eaten!  But bad enough I chewed the inside of the pocket…I kind of put a hole right through the front of the fleece.  I created easy treat access.  I was doing her a favor.  Kind of.

My human was NOT impressed with my antics.  Good thing I’m cute.  Looks like I’ll have to be on my best behavior for the next few days to make up for my naughtiness.  Well – a few days might be a bit much to ask.  I’ll be good today.  One day at a time….

©  Linda Wozniak

Time to take a look at the news…

There was the tragedy in Brussels the other day – when some terrorists set off  explosives, killing 35 people and injuring over 300 more.  Humans.  Why can’t you just get along?  You know, I bet those terrorist humans don’t own dogs.  How could they?  

As a result of this recent attack, the demand for us canines is going up.  Well – certain canines.  They call them Vapor Dogs. These dogs are different from scent detection dogs who sniff out parcels or backpacks or other objects that contain explosives.  Vapor dogs can detect the scent of explosives in the air.  They can actually walk through a crowd – and determine if bomb components are in the area.  And they will follow the vapor until they are close to the source.  These dogs are in so much demand now – that the trainers of these dogs can’t even meet the demand.  

I’m a Vapor dog.  When it comes to wildlife.  And actually, Frodo is too.  Yesterday morning, my human took Frodo and I for a walk with our buddy Jackson.  She let the good dog, Frodo, off leash with Jackson, and for a few moments, also let me off leash.  And everything was going OK.  Until our vapor skills kicked in.  Frodo suddenly put his nose in the air – and stared toward the woods.  And then I smelled it.  And we both headed for the woods.  Frodo of course came back when called.  But not me.  The vapor was tooooooooo strong.  And all the shouting by my human and Jackson’s human could NOT convince me to come back.  My human wasn’t too stressed as I was wearing a collar with my tags and a bell.  And unfortunately, for me,  the bell scared off whatever it was I was vaporizing.  So within two minutes, I was running back to the group.  At which point, you guessed it, I was put back on a leash.  Vapor skills squashed.  Again.

And in a good news story, there is a guy in Denver, Colorado by the name of Steve Greig.  A couple of years ago, Steve was very sad when his dog went to the Rainbow Bridge.  So since then, he has decided to adopt old dogs – that no one else would want to adopt. He has 10 senior dogs, and even has a pig and a chicken.  And I know there are other humans like Steve out there.  It’s refreshing to hear stories about GOOD people – since the news is often full of stories about that small percentage of the population who are BAD.  Sometimes we need to keep that in mind…

And on the homefront news – Paxton is eating even more food.  Mind you, he INSISTS that my human feed him by hand.  He is TOTALLY milking this sick thing.  But my human doesn’t care – she would stand on her head if it would make him eat.  Well.  Maybe not exactly stand on her head.  Her acrobatic skills are NOT that good.  And then we would be nursing HER.

Excuse me while I go and see what my human is doing – I THINK I smell the vapor of dog food.  Have a great day!

©  Linda Wozniak

And besides Dyngus Day, we have ANOTHER reason to celebrate today.  It’s my human’s mother’s BIRTHDAY.  It wouldn’t be appropriate to share her age, but let’s just say it’s somewhere between 86 and 88.  Because I am her favorite grand-dog – or I like to think I am, I want to wish her a super day – with extra licks and tail wags. I know she reads my blog, after she checks her email and Facebook every day.  Yes, she uses her computer – a LOT.  How cool is that?!  She’s quite the octogenarian!

I didn’t find the bunny yesterday – but we did have a good romp outside in the afternoon.  And guess what?!  Paxton is starting to eat more!!!  Now he’s still not feeling 100%, but he is definitely feeling better.  So yet ANOTHER reason to celebrate!

Hoppy Easter!  I was thinking that with all the attention on Paxton, my human would forget about the horrid bunny ears from the dreaded Dollar Store.  Who KNEW she stored them away from last year?!  Had I known, I would never have stepped into the garage aka grooming room aka torture photo studio.  There is a somewhat happier photo on my Facebook page – because she PROMISED that IF I smiled, I would get a treat.  AND it would be the LAST photo.

My human took Paxton to the Vet yesterday to get a shot – he couldn’t take some of his pills because they were to be taken on a full stomach – and he wasn’t quite full.  My human told the Vet he wasn’t eating much – at which point Paxton proceeded to eat about 8 biscuits that the Vet kept giving him.  He was even looking for more.  My human was shocked and rather embarrassed.  Way to go Pax.  The Vet says my human just needs to stay calm – and not stress so much.  Good advice Dr. Vet – can you add a bottle of vodka to Pax’s prescription?  Not for him, obviously.  After all, too much alcohol probably resulted in this liver problem in the first place – we had QUITE the party while my human was at Crufts.  But don’t tell her.

Yesterday morning when my human took Paxton outside in the morning – HE saw the Easter bunny. That white one that has been hanging around our yard.  Taunting me.  Clearly he was hiding eggs.  Or more likely, leaving a trail of “bunny balls.”  Paxton looked at the bunny, and looked at my human as if to say “Thank GOODNESS Viktor is not out here.”  

Since it IS Easter, I think it is VERY fitting that we play several rounds of Find the Bunny.  I’m not sure Paxton will want to play, but maybe.  He did eat a bit more food yesterday.  Those prayers and good wishes continue to work wonders.

Anyway, have a VERY happy Easter.  Don’t eat too many chocolate bunnies – especially if you are a canine.  In fact, if you are a canine – don’t eat ANY chocolate bunnies.  But I bet those Marshmallow Peeps are OK, though…And I’m warning my human to keep away from the bunnies too – she’s still paying the price for the Halloween candy.  Humans.  

Have a joyful day!

©  Linda Wozniak

So here we are starting our very own medical soap opera.  Given the colours of two of the characters, I like the title, Grey’s Anatomy.  But my human tells me that has already been used.  How about Healing Hands – Healing Paws. Kind of tacky – but humans love that kind of stuff.  And here is the list of characters:

I am excited to be writing this blog today.  My big bro is HOME!!!!!  Thanks to all of you for sending prayers, good thoughts and best wishes.  All of those positive vibes – from all around the world – worked.  Now he is not without problems – and some testing still has to come back.  But contrary to what the Vet was thinking before his surgery- he was not full of cancer.   He DOES have an enlarged liver and the doctors have to find out why – and they did something called a biopsy – but he had no visible tumors or masses. Anywhere.