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Well the FG has a big day today.  He’s going to a new class.  A handling class – to prepare him for dog shows.  Heaven help the instructor.  My human has been told that this instructor is excellent – and she’s been waiting to see if they could get in the class – it’s very popular.  They got the word last week that they were “in.”  She’s been waiting for this opportunity – she said she feels like her kid just got accepted to Harvard.  I would say that’s a BIT of an exaggeration.   We’ll see how the first class goes – it would be embarrassing to be excused after one shot.  But if he behaves the way he has been on his morning walks…well I hope someone brings a video camera.

So good luck to my human today.  She better have a Coca Cola before she goes.  And I’m thinking that maybe there should be some rum in that coke…Better yet – I’ll have a big one ready for her when she gets home.  No doubt she’ll need it…

Have a good one.

So my human got home from work the other day, and let us out for our raucous, spinning, barking pee.  After which we raced back into the house to be fed.  We all had our supper, and the FG went out again, this time on leash.  “Duty” calls the FG quickly after he has eaten.  So he came back in and my human went to change out of her work clothes into her slobbery, dog-hair covered comfy clothes, before taking Frodo and I out.  She went into the bedroom to change.  She also took out her eyes ( she wears contact lenses) so she was gone a few minutes.  And when she came out of the bedroom, she realized no one was waiting for her by the door.  Hmmmmmmm.  She thought it odd and proceeded down the hall.  And that’s when she saw the snowstorm.  An ENTIRE roll of toilet paper was shredded under the dining room table and ALL of us were chewing on bits of paper.  And what were the first words out of her mouth?   “What did you do?”  You would think after my blog the other day she would have been more creative in her choice of words.  Obviously she didn’t READ my blog.  And her next statement? “Who did this?” Take your pick.  But there was one probable suspect…

Let’s just say that the FG has taken counter surfing to the next level.  I mean he has been surveying counter content for some time now – since he got big enough to see easily over the counter when he puts his two paws up.  BUT, until now he has never actually TAKEN anything from the counter.  Not that there are many options, as my human is careful not to leave anything dangerous, or important ON the counter.  But she forgot two rolls of toilet paper that she was supposed to put in the bathroom.  She put them down for some reason and left them there.  And the temptation was too much so the FG did it – he STOLE the TP.  And when he started the shred-fest, we ALL joined in.  In the photo you are only seeing a bit of the paper – it was spread out everywhere.  And each one of us had paper in our mouths.  Chewing like we had gum.  My human stared in disbelief.  At which point, in her frustration she blurts out “If you like eating toilet paper so much, maybe I’ll give you a roll for your supper tomorrow!!!!”    Don’t you love when humans get dramatic?  

So she picked up the papers, while we were racing around trying to hoover any bits we could find.  

Now that we have the FG trained to GET things off the counter, we’re hoping she will forget a whole bag of dog food on the counter.  Fat chance.  But one can always dream….

January 13.  And it’s Friday.  So if you are superstitious, you may be pulling the covers over your head this morning and not going out.  Unless you have a dog.  We won’t let you stay in bed!

I did a little searching and I found a website that listed 42 superstitions having to do with dogs.   I’m not too trusting of them – for example, one superstition suggested that if you are being followed by a strange dog, it could mean bad luck.  OR good luck.  So you see what I mean.

Another says  “It is good luck meet a dog.  Especially a Dalmation.”  Now that one is obviously true, but I think it certainly applies to ALL dogs and not JUST Dalmations!

 A dog howling at night is a sign of bad luck.  It sure IS bad luck – for the human who has to listen to the howling.

If a dog does not like a man, it is a sign the man has a bad character.  Hello?  I think we call that INTUITION and NOT superstition.

If a black dog appears in your car when you are driving alone, you are in danger of an accident.  Of COURSE you would be in danger of an accident!  If a dog appeared out of no where, that would scare the heavens out of anybody – and no doubt cause an accident!

If a dog eats grass, it is a sign he needs a tonic.  Hello again?  Nothing superstitious about THAT!  Many of us like to eat grass if we have a stomach upset. That’s a fact.

It is unlucky to meet a barking dog early in the morning.  We live with Frodo.  My human would therefore be THE unluckiest person on the planet.   He barks EVERY morning.  And lately I have joined him.  Maybe I cancel out the bad luck…

And here’s an interesting one.  You know the superstition that if you walk under a ladder it is bad luck?   Well – don’t worry.  There is a remedy.  AFTER you walk under that ladder, cross your fingers until you see a DOG and the bad luck will be reversed.  I’m not sure WHAT happens if you actually walk under the ladder WITH your dog….

But my FAVORITE …. In French tradition, if you step in dog poop with your left foot, good luck will surely follow.  NO WONDER my human isn’t UNLUCKY with all of Frodo’s barking.  This one has TOTALLY reversed the bad luck barking!

Anyway, I wish you GOOD luck today – and for the whole weekend! Have a good one!

Today is January 12.  And it’s Jack London’s birthday.  Jack London was a famous American writer – well known for his dog stories – The Call of the Wild and White Fang.  These tales of the north, highlight dogs in the wild and look at the dog’s view of the world.  I really believe that all of us canines experience that Call of the Wild.  I mean it’s pretty evident when Elroy and I take off into the woods.  We are answering that call.  In more ways than one.  But really – ALL dogs experience that call of the wild.  Even chihuahuas and miniature poodles.  While they likely would not be excited about digging out a cave in the snow to sleep – and many of us wouldn’t – we all have those “moments” when that inner call comes out.  It’s those moments when we dogs race around with reckless abandon.  Not chasing anything.  Not retrieving anything.  Not herding anything.  Humans call it the zoomies.  But really – it’s that momentary Call of the Wild – when we return to our primal roots. And ALL of us do it.

Let’s face it – most of us are QUITE content having a roof over our heads, a comfy bed and food in our bowls that we didn’t have to hunt for.  But we STILL feel that call.   It’s definitely a canine thing.  I mean how often do you see adult humans running around with reckless abandon with their hands in the air for NO reason?  Mind you, if they did so in a public place, there would no doubt be some odd stares.  And I guess kids do it – they haven’t yet learned to curb that inner call… Good for them.

So Happy birthday Jack -and in honor of his day try to feel that inner call.  But just be careful where you do it…

We have had SUPER cold weather lately, but today it is supposed to warm up.  And rain.  Which means the driveway will again become a  luge run. Always great fun.  

The FG LOVES the snow and LOVES to be outdoors.  I’m not sure WHAT he is looking for under the snow.  He buries his head.  And then he stands and stares at the snow.  Like he is watching or listening for something.  It’s rather weird.  Although he loves the snow- for a few days he was limping because of cold feet.  I was also limping a bit – and Frodo, well he goes CRAZY if he gets snow stuck to his feet.  He TRULY dislikes that.  He basically lies down and starts licking.  He becomes completely limp.  You can’t move him.  So  he’s not limping –  he’s totally paralyzed.  One of my readers asked about paw protection at this time of the year- and I have a recipe from a local dog guru that may be helpful.  That or boots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GursaKdan2A

I haven’t tried the recipe yet.  It could be a bit of a circus putting it on our pads….Can you imagine?!  Get out the video camera…

It’s Wednesday.  Hump day.  Have a great one!

Time for a quick chuckle.  My human saw this video the other day.  About goat yoga.  You pay money to go and do yoga while goats walk around you, and no doubt step all over you.  Now that was a clever  human who came up with that idea.  People PAY to be stepped on by goats?  Brilliant.  Check it out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWINY-V_4Ec

So we started looking for dog yoga.  We found several videos of yoga you do with dogs – where dogs actually do posing.  Imagine my human trying to balance the FG on her hip as she does a pose.  The image of us doing these poses is pretty funny.  I’m SURE it would be relaxing.  Not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3HzrKzkDgQ

But we found nothing like the goat yoga.  Where people pay to have dogs walk all around and over them while they do yoga.  THIS is finally the PERFECT money making scheme for me.  I mean if people will flock to Oregon to be stepped on by goats, IMAGINE all the people we can get to come to Nova Scotia to be stomped on by two PONs and a Picard?  FINALLY something we would be GREAT at doing.  And NO question that the FG would chew on those yoga mats.

Gotta go work on my website…

You know, you humans amaze me.  You have like a gazillion words in your vocabulary.  And yet you select the same old four word phrase when we canines perform some unscrupulous act.  The famous “What did you do?”  And I’ve actually heard it twice in the last two days…

Honestly – I don’t know WHY you humans say that.  I mean you can clearly SEE what we have done.  Are you expecting us to give you some other explanation?  I can even see you saying “Why do you do this?”  That really makes more sense, doesn’t it?   Isn’t that what you REALLY want to know?  What did I do?  I tore the pillowcase on my human’s bed while she was in the bathroom brushing her teeth before bed.  Well, really….tore is not exactly correct.  More like annihilated.  And it was pretty darn clear what I had done, sitting in front of the pillow with fabric hanging out of my mouth.  So asking “What did you do?” is pretty silly.  The correct question is why.  Why did I do it?  Because I could.  I had actually started on that particular piece of bedding a few weeks ago.  But then stopped.  But Saturday night I was just feeling in the mood for a little badness. Frodo just watched.  I was immediately banished from my comfy spot on the bed.  Until my human fell asleep.  And then I was back up.

My other “What did you do?” moment was yesterday morning – when my human was taking the FG out for his first pee.  We know the drill.  He goes first.  Then us PONs.  But I still had some residual badness left over from the previous night – so just as my human opened the door to take the FG out, I burst past and ran out – with my sidekick, Frodo following.  We NEVER do that.  In the morning anyway.  Maybe it was the excitement of the previous night’s snowstorm.  My human had to call us back in and say those famous words.  Again.  I just rolled my eyes.

So to help you humans, since you can’t seem to diversify your language, allow me to provide you with some other suggestions when we canines are bad.  Besides the “Why did you do this?” option, how about one of the following:

• Can you tell me why you felt the need to do this?
• Is there anything I can do to help you when these urges come on?
• What possessed you to do this?
• Can you think of something else you could have done instead of this?
• Do you need more toys to occupy your time?
• Can I take you out more?

Try those the next time your canine does something naughty.   Not that we will necessarily answer – but it definitely makes YOU look smarter.  And heck, we’ll ALWAYS take more toys and walks!

Have a good Monday!!

Well we had quite the snowfall on Friday night – and last night as well.  You know it’s going to be a stormy evening when my human comes home and changes from her “work clothes” right into her pajamas.  The other night she even put on this big fuzzy robe-like thing that she got from Santa.  One look – and the FG and I immediately had to try and attack her.  She looked like a big polar bear and the fabric was so nice and fuzzy – she ended up taking it off – we were so obsessed with pulling off pieces of fluff.

On Saturday, in between storms, my human decided to get some photos of us.  Of course she did.  So what ELSE is new.  During which I learned that the FG is even SMARTER than I thought…

So before my human takes us out, she shows us that she has these REALLY tasty liver snacks.  I mean REALLY tasty.  All of us sat in the hallway before we went out, and patiently waited for our treat.  We were SO well behaved.  Until the front door was opened. That’s when the FG’s brain exploded.  We’re now used to his racing through the woods.  And leaping over logs and branches.  And us. But the remarkable thing that I noticed yesterday is his ability to calculate distance.

My human would attempt to get the three of us to sit together for a photo.  And of course, Frodo and I KNEW she had her pockets full of those liver treats.  So we essentially sat and stayed wherever she instructed.  Like stuffed dogs.  And then she had to corral the FG.  IF she manged to grab his collar as he raced by, she COULD get him to sit.  And that’s when I realized he understands distance.  He would sit with us and look at my human with his sweet expression.  And she would step back to take the photo.  And he would sit.  And she would step back – and juuuuuuuuuust as soon as he knew she was out of grabbing range, he was off.  This happened repeatedly.  And it’s not like he didn’t know about the treats.  She would give us one when we sat, and tell us how brilliant were were, and she would wave a treat in front of us as she stepped back.  But he didn’t care.  The Call of the Wild was too great for him.   My human decided a trio portrait was just out of the question – she finally gave up.  BUT – she did manage to capture a few shots that you may still enjoy.  Check out these bloopers…

So my human was reading this article about silence.  Apparently some scientists did a study with mice and they found that mice who were exposed to two hours of silence each day had new cells that formed in the area of the brain which is associated with memories, feelings and emotions.  So it is possible that silence can help your brain.  My human’s brain must be mush living with Frodo.  Silence is NOT his thing…

It starts in the morning immediately after she emerges from the bathroom.  He instructs her to hurry up and get Elroy out of his crate.  Then he barks directives about going outdoors.  The only time he DOESN’T bark about going out is when it is raining.  Then he yaps about getting his breakfast.  And after a short break, he and the FG start growling, squeaking and barking at each other while they wrestle. Frodo is forever giving his vocal opinion about things.  He is a tattletale if one of us is doing something we shouldn’t.  He is the first to sound the alarm if he hears something.  He barks when people arrive.  He barks (and embarrasses my human) at neighbors.  To which she shyly says “he’s just saying hello.”  But his TONE is “Hello. I would like to kill you.”  Not that he REALLY would.  He’s all bark.  Literally.

In the rare moments of silence in this house it can only mean one of two things.  We are ALL sleeping,  OR – someone is into something.  ESPECIALLY the FG.  If he is out of sight, and quiet – it is NOT a good sign.  While my human’s mother was visiting last week, they decided to watch a movie one night.  We were all downstairs.  And then the FG went upstairs.  My human followed him and saw he was going to lie down on the dog bed.  Which was fine.  But, in the excitement of the action movie they were watching, they didn’t hear the stealth FG go to the landing on the stairs.  He did so VERY quietly.  And proceeded to tear a hole in the carpet on the stairs.  He was VERY quiet.  But after a few minutes my human DID hear the telltale RIP RIP sound.  A lovely circle.  Right in the middle of the stair, on the edge.  Pretty soon there will BE no carpets in this house… If the FG is quiet – it can only mean trouble.

So in this house, silence IS golden when it comes to Frodo.  But Elroy, not so much.  I think they should do a study on MY brain – living with those two.  Obviously my brain MUST be quite advanced – I’m the one with the blog!   

Hopefully you just read this blog in silence.  Just THINK how good that was for your brain!  Now, excuse me while I go and meditate.  Without Frodo.  And not on a carpet with the FG…

January 6.  It’s OUR day!!!  It’s Three Kings Day.  Let’s face it – we three canines live like kings.  We have all of our meals served to us.  We have someone clean up after us. We have someone groom us – which we actually could do without.  We are given gifts for all occasions – and sometimes there isn’t even an occasion.  We’re not into gold, frankincense or myrrh but anything edible is well received.  We have comfy beds to sleep in.  Which someone else washes.  We never have to vacuum or clean – although we are happy to clean counters – or any crumbs that may hit the floor.  We approve and greet visitors.  We wear attire for special occasions.  Admittedly we are reluctant about that one – but we do it.  We take NUMEROUS photos for the pup-arazzi.  And bottom line – we RULE this household.  

In Poland, today is a holiday and many people in many other countries celebrate this day – the Epiphany – which is also know as “Little Christmas.”  It’s when the Three Wise Men came to visit Baby Jesus.  My human is SURE that there were women with those guys.  She said that they didn’t have GPS back then – so those three guys would have needed someone to show them where to go.  Mind you, those women should have also told them to bring more practical gifts.  What kid do you know wants, or needs, myrrh?  

Anyway, today have yourself a Merry “LITTLE” Christmas. Let your heart be light….