Faster than the urky-gurkies

Hey blogaroos! Squirmy here on a terrific Tuesday. Going to hang out with the Borzoi babes this morning. Always a good time.

So I have a trivia question for you. What sound can make the Warden jump out of bed FASTER than the sound of the urky-gurkies. You know the urky-gurkies – the sound a dog makes before he pukes. Someone once said they could use the urky-gurkies as an alarm clock sound.

Anyway – there’s something that made the Warden LEAP out of bed the other night faster than the urky-gurkies. Or at least it was a close tie.

Let me set the stage….we had gone out for our last pee of the night. The Coyote was in his pony-sized den, and I was in mine. The Boss was lounging on the Warden’s bed – because he is free at night. Age has its privileges. The Warden said one of these days she’ll leave us all free. If she has no where to be the next day because she’ll never get any sleep. But that’s another story.

Anyway, she was reading in bed, and there was one light on. And she heard it. The telltale sign that we hear in the month of June. The sound of ping pong balls bouncing against the windows and the window screens. The dreaded light-seeking, hard-sided, creepy-legged flying ping pong balls – June bugs. The Warden heard them bashing at the window in a crazed effort to get close to the light. And that was no big deal. It’s a typical sound in June.

But then she heard a DIFFERENT sound- a kind of buzzy sound. And it sounded like it was not outside…..she looked up in time to see a June bug flying by her. She screamed and leaped out of bed. “Eeeeeewwwwww” she shouted. We didn’t know WHAT was going on.

Here’s the thing with June bugs- they are not very aeronautically designed. Kinda like little drunken blimps . Who fly and crash land. She ran in the bathroom to get her glasses – although it’s not hard to see the big beetles – even without glasses. She came back in the bedroom- watching and listening. At last fly by – it almost looked like he might have fallen behind the headboard. She was mumbling that we were all moving to another bedroom if she couldn’t find the kamikaze insect. Just as she said it- he flew by- bouncing against the wall and falling to the floor. While all this is going on – we are all watching with interest. Although the Boss seemed kinda bored. When the mini tank hit the floor, she figured he might be dazed enough for her to get the broom. WARNING: if you are a bug lover and feel June bugs should be picked up and taken outside while the music from Born Free plays in the background- do not read the next part.

So she got the broom. She wasn’t about to pick him up, nor step on him because you need steel sole work boots to squish the ping pong balls. So she hit him with the straw broom. She picked it up and he wasn’t there. She figured he was stuck in the bristles. She carefully walked to the bathroom with the out-stretched broom like a weapon. She hit it over the open toilet bowl – and looked down. There he was – still moving. He then went for a free whirlpool ride to wherever.

The Warden thinks he got in through that giant hole in the screen door to the deck. The light had been on in the dining room- but after we went out for our pee- all the lights were turned out EXCEPT for the bedroom. She figured he couldn’t get in through the screen in the bedroom- there’s no opening big enough for the buggers. So it had to be the deck door. The one with the hole that yours truly designed.

Last night- we weren’t allowed to keep the deck door open. AND the house was pitch black. A bit of overkill if you ask me. It’s kind of like wartime blackouts – except the enemy is clearly less dangerous.

She still obviously hasn’t put up that new screen thing that she bought with magnets. This could be interesting. Anyway- if she doesn’t want us to suffocate in the evenings, she better replace that screen quickly.

The Warden read that some dogs and cats actually like to play with and/or eat June bugs. Attempting to eat a bumblebee was enough insect roughage for me. I’ll stick with blueberries.

So that’s the latest from the asylum.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe. JBJ.