Communing

Yo. Blog people. Elroy here. The mops are in the other room barking at each other for no reason, so I walked out to escape the PONdemonium. The Imp is continually attempting to lick Einstein’s face and ears so I must hear Her Highness saying “Wojtek leave him” at LEAST 50 times each day. At LEAST 50 times.

Now it’s not that I don’t bark at all. I bark not just to hear myself talk – but to warn about important things. Like a falling leaf. Or wind.

While the Imp likes to run like around through the woods like a maniac chasing nothing, I prefer to silently commune with nature. I would probably do well living off in some remote Tibetan monastery- listening to nature. Instead I’m trapped in an asylum were the other residents don’t have the foggiest clue what the word “quiet” means. Sometimes I believe we live in parallel universes. And theirs is much more noisy than mine.

The ruckus is particularly obnoxious at mealtime – when a sound level meter would likely explode. A rock concert holds no competition in sound level compared to the two mops

I’m quiet at mealtime because I believe the whole eating thing is overrated. Some meals I eat. Other times I just say “meh.” Meanwhile two drooling banshees are staring at me through the French door – leaving beautiful olfactory art on the glass. I am served my meal first and while I sometimes actually DO choose to eat immediately , other times I prefer rituals. Her Highness looked up mealtime rituals and found the following article:

https://iheartdogs.com/5-strange-eating-habits-and-what-they-mean-about-your-dog/

Interesting – and some of you may identify with some of these behaviors exhibited by your canine companion. But none actually describe what I do. My ritual includes standing over my bowl and staring at my food. Then I will bounce my head around the edges of the bowl. The Imp thought I was saying grace and then blessing my food. I suppose it could appear that way. I just like to see if I can count the kibbles in my bowl, before I begin eating them. I also like to closely examine the bowl to see if there are any additives, like cheese, or some pieces of bread. Her Highness likes to occasionally put extra things in my bowl so I like to fully identify them before I dig in.

I will go through streaks with eating. Some days I completely refuse one meal entirely. Her Highness must quickly pick up my bowl before opening the door to the hallway befote the food clearing crew runs in.

I must confess, I HAVE acquired a taste for frozen blueberries like the mops lately. We have them each day. But keep in mind, I may decide today that I dislike them again. My tastes change.

I do enjoy eating snow – despite Her Highness’s requests not to continually gobble it on a walk. She warned me that snow containing bits of pine needles would NOT be good and I must confess – she was correct. I later vomited them. Next time I’ll stick with pure snow without the sprinkles.

Someone once described me as “ quirky.” Yup. That’s me. Quirky and smirky. I just watch the frantic mops and roll my eyes. They need to commune more.

Well it’s almost time for the morning circus. Geez I wish Her Highness would let me run free. But she fears I would take off. Can you blame me – I’m trying to escape the mops! But before you start thinking I don’t like them, I suppose I should explain that I actually do. Where else can you get this kind of entertainment- and where else are you loved just for being different?! Her Highness hugs me and thanks me for being so quiet. I’m her sanity support dog. She no longer stresses about my weird eating rituals or refusal to eat. She gets me. Now if I would just come when called. But I’m usually too busy communing with something. Yo – I think she just called me. This time I’ll think I’ll respond. Or wait – what’s that fluff on the floor….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.