May 10 and it’s National Clean Up Your Room Day.  We’re not big into clean up. Unless it is cleaning up something edible that hits the floor.  Then we are vacuum cleaners.  But as for cleaning up our toys or antlers- as soon as my human puts them in the big bin when she is vacuuming, we promptly pull them out.  They are spread out all over the kitchen and dining room. We like the look.

Well the rug in the hallway is still intact.  So far.  But don’t kid yourself, if left to his own devices, it would be shredded quickly.  We’ll see who wins the bet…

My human has noticed another interesting FG trait.   Besides rug shredding.   As we know, she takes him for a walk every morning around 5 AM, wearing her trusty headlamp, which remains less-than-trusty right now because she STILL needs batteries.  Anyway, she has noticed that on some mornings, the FG bounds ahead of her on the leash, with little care.   He walks along sniffing and snarking – and she has to watch him closely because,  speaking of cleaning skills, he CAN be a vacuum cleaner who picks up garbage along the road.   He is STARTING to learn the command “drop it.”  So that’s a typical morning.  But every now and then, and it appears to be on particularly foggy and dark mornings, he will NOT leave my human’s side. He is like GLUE attached to her.  And every couple of minutes, he’ll stop and stare off behind them on the dark road.  Or off into the bushes.  It’s kind of spooky – and my human wonders if he picks up the scent of something.  She would like to THINK he is protecting her – but I actually think he is looking for her to protect HIM.  He’s a not a huge guard dog – I mean he doesn’t bark if someone comes to the door – and he does not practice rabbilert.   But that being said, the other day he was on the deck with me and Einstein and my human was in the house.  And he let out such a BIG dog bark that my human had to come and see if another dog had joined the party!  We have NEVER heard that bark before.  It was a first.  So maybe he is starting to mature – and his close walking IS a protective stance.   That or he has figured out yet another way to drive my human crazy….

It’s Wednesday – and only TWO more work days after today.  We are counting down the minutes!

Have a good one – and don’t forget to clean up!

Today is May 9 and it is also Tear the Tags off the Mattress Day.  You know how it says that it is illegal to remove the mattress tag?  Did you know that became law back in the early 20th century – and was aimed at sellers of mattresses – and not the consumer?  It seems that some mattress makers would put “recycled” contents in their products – which could harbor things like bugs or lice.  So the products had to be clearly labeled as to the contents so consumers could make an educated choice about which mattress they wanted – knowing what the contents were.  Sellers could not change the label to mislead the consumer.  It actually says nowadays “do not remove under penalty of law except by the consumer”  but some people don’t read the fine print.  And we dogs certainly don’t read the print.  We LOVE to tear off labels.  On toys, beds – and if we could, the mattress.  And speaking of sleeping, my human had to investigate our pillowcase chewing hobby. And low and behold – it appears we are not unique.  Other dogs do it too.  Some speculate we are bored and do it for attention. Others suggest that the hair products you humans use may smell yummy – so we just like to eat the pillowcases because they smell like your hair.  As for us, we do it simply because we can!

We all know that the FG and I are often, how should I say this…a bit naughty at times.  And TYPICALLY, Einstein, except for his incessant barking and ability to escape any enclosed area, is PRETTY well behaved.  But yesterday, he showed HIS naughty side – and I think I know why.

At 4AM, yesterday, I decided my human had had enough rest.  I mean how many hours does the woman need?  Besides, I was hungry.  So I kept staring at her.  And jumping on and off the bed.  But she could hear it pouring outside – and after all it WAS Saturday, so she didn’t want to get up.  I FINALLY managed to move her at 5:45.  She went into the bathroom to wash her face and she was not in there for a minute when she heard a sound.  Riiiiiiiiiiiiip.  She immediately figured it was ME tearing another pillowcase – so she started shouting “VIKTOR stop it!”  Without even seeing me.  She threw the bathroom door open – and there was EINSTEIN – on the bed – destroying her pillowcase.  She’s starting to wonder what it is with us and pillowcases.  She evicted him from the bed and went back to brush her teeth.  

As she went to take us out – she noticed that I was limping.  Clearly, during one of my numerous bed jumps I landed awkwardly.  She decided to ignore it – and just as well – within minutes I was fine.  She took the FG out first – during a break in the torrential rains. He did his thing and she then went to walk me and Einstein.  Well, walk is not exactly the correct term.  More like drag.  It was WET out.  And while I’m not THAT bad about damp conditions, Einstein could NOT have looked more grumpy. He was furious.  He sees NO point in going out in wet weather, AND as he often does, he protests by refusing to poop.  One would THINK he would go quickly to get back in the house  and sometimes he does.  But yesterday was an APP – an anti-poop protest.  He walked or rather plodded along the road with total disgust on his face.  Now because humans KNOW our metabolism and pay close attention to our bodily functions – and they KNOW our routine, my human KNEW he needed to poop.  I mean he hadn’t pooped in 24 hours.  And after all, we HAD dragged her out of bed – so she was NOT going back in the house without results.  I did my thing.  Twice.  But Einstein kept walking sullenly.  We went ALL the way down the road, and all the way back home.  And as we approached the house, Einstein’s happy gait returned.  Little did he know my human wasn’t finished walking him.  She left him outside, put me in the house and proceeded to walk around the house to the trail.  OOOOOOOO-EEEEEEE.  He was REALLY not happy.  I mean walking on the wet road is bad enough – but walking through the wet lawn and puddles on the trail – he was NOT a happy camper.  They walked down – or trudged down to the lake and on the way back, he stopped to poop.  Not once.  Twice.  My human had that look of accomplishment and glee – and Einstein just shook himself off, ignored her smile and trotted back to the house.

So why the bad behavior from Einstein?  I think it may be my fault.  And the FG’s.  We have been doing a LOT of hair styling with Einstein lately – and he is not always pleased with the results.  Personally, I think we give him a distinctive look.  He thinks we are responsible for bad hair days.  And for him, bad hair days result in bad behavior.  Simple.

So it looks like our salon skills will have to be put on hold for a while – two bad dogs at a time are quite enough for my human.   Mind you – I HAVE been better behaved lately- remember the bunny story  – so maybe we should simply consider this a case of rotational badness.  Yup.  That’s what we are calling it. Rotational badness.  So it was the FG on Thursday…  Einstein on Saturday… Looks like I’m up!  Let’s see what I can get into today.

Have a good one!

So on Thursday my human came from work, and as usual, we were all CRAZY to see her.  She put the FG into the fenced run on the side of the house, and let Einstein and I out the front door for a pee.  We raced around the yard barking and attacking each other like we had not just spent the last 8 hours together.  We did our thing and came in and my human went to put US in the fenced run, while she took the FG out on a leash.  She had to round us up and put us in – and she got the FG out.  He raced through the garage – and into the front hallway.  BUT – my human made a HUGE error.   After she took us out, she left the front door open – with just the screen door closed.  The  FG saw the chance- bashed the screen door open, and he was G-O-N-E.  I mean when he lets loose, there is NO catching him.  He immediately raced to the edge of the woods and was having a big poop.  My human raced across the front lawn to catch him and mid-poop, he took off.  He headed up the driveway and across to the neighbor’s house.  With my human in hot pursuit.  He went around the front of the neighbor’s place, so my human went around the back to head him off.  And she spotted him – pooping now on the trail to the lake.  That guy knows how to move when pooping – so he was off before she could get him.  Down to the lake he went – with my human following.  When she got there, she spotted him, but he dodged around some trees – and was gone.  At this point, Einstein and I were still in the fenced run – shouting and cheering for the escapee.  Like two inmates egging him on.  My human didn’t know WHERE he went so she headed up the trail back to the house.  At which point, a large hairy beast – with extremely muddy limbs raced past her from behind.  And he was headed for the house.  By the time my human got to the house, he was nowhere to be seen.  And she looked in the run – and saw one dog.  That would be me.  Einstein had  escaped.  So now she had two dogs on the lam.  Then she heard Einstein barking from the front of the house.  So she knew where she would find the FG.  Sure enough – there were the TWO escaped convicts.  She still could not get near the FG – he didn’t want to come in just yet- even though he was huffing and puffing from his run.  She tried enticing and begging – but he would dodge JUST out of reach and lie down on the lawn.  In a desperate attempt to catch him, she grabbed the fetch toys and threw one to Einstein.  Well the FG decided to join in the fun, but let’s just say Einstein does NOT share the fetch toy like Jackson.  He growled and ran and the FG chased him.  My human kept TRYING to grab him when he got close – but he is WAY too smart for that.  After about 5 minutes of Einstein running in circles, he was almost out of breath and the FG was starting to slow down as well.  So my human went and let me out of prison.  She figured she might as well release me because well, why not?   I was not interested in the toy – I just wanted DINNER.  Long story a bit shorter – my human FINALLY managed to grab the FG and we all came in for our meal. 30 minutes after the adventure began.

So you would think that would be enough excitement for one night.  But no.

Being the glutton for punishment that my human is – she decided after she had dinner that we all needed a few minutes of good play time.  So she took me first.  And we played fetch until I was starting to slow down – after about 25 retrieves.  Then she took out Einstein.  Who played for a bit – and then decided after about 10 that he had enough (He thinks: what IS the point of running out and back so many times?).  And THEN she took out the FG.  Well CLEARLY she could not let him off leash.  So – she took a long line and two fetch toys.  She tossed one and when he ran out to get it, she then reeled him in.  When he dropped it, she tossed the other one.  This went fine for three throws – and then the FG decided leash or no leash, he wasn’t bringing it back so he grabbed the toy and bolted.  My human wasn’t prepared – so Einstein and I watched from the house as she did an all out face plant on the lawn, letting go of the leash in the process.  FLAT out.  Thankfully it was the lawn and not the driveway.  As she moaned getting up, she had visions of AGAIN having to chase the FG.  But I think at this point even HE realized he had pushed the limits – and he sat there with the toy.  Waiting for my human to get up.  That was the end of THAT play session.

It’s Saturday and we have a forecast for torrential rain.  So no fetch games today.  For some reason, my human thinks it is just as well….By the way, if anyone is looking for a fast weight loss/exercise program, we are happy to loan the FG….Guaranteed success.

Have a good one…

Well it’s that time of the year when the canine grazers emerge from their winter hibernation.  Yes – as the grass begins to grow (between the weeds) on the lawn- one can spot them munching the fresh stalks of bright green blades.  Who needs a lawn mower or a goat when you have canine grazers?  The FG is particularly fond of the green stuff – walking along skimming the ground with his mouth open and grabbing mouthful after mouthful.  Until my human says “ENOUGH roughage for today!!”  Ahh the joys of spring.

And since spring has arrived, the bunnies are out in full force.  As my human was driving down the driveway on Wednesday she had to slow down because two were in the middle of the lane.  As she approached- they dashed off into the woods.  When she came in the house, she debated whether to let Einstein and I out without a leash. So she tried an idea.  Before she let us out, she took treats from the jar.  She showed them to us- and then came out with us and instructed us to pee.  We ran to pee, but what she didn’t see was that a bunny had returned.  She watched as a bunny raced across the yard with two PONs not far behind. Einstein quickly gave up the chase- but she had visions of me being gone for a long time.  She figured it was useless to call me, but gave one “happy sounding” plea. Not the typical “VIKTOR GET BACK HERE” kind of shout. And low and behold, miracle of miracles, the earth shook, the sun shone extra brightly, the stars aligned perfectly – and I RETURNED.  And was I quickly rewarded with that treat, extra hugs and flowing praise.  A bit over the top if you ask me.

And if that wasn’t enough – yesterday morning as my human was getting ready to speed out the door to work – she took all of us out for one pee before she left.  She took Einstein and me first.  And she was about 10 feet from the door – with both of us of course on a leash, when she looked up and FROZE.  There – not 20 feet away in the middle of the lawn was a bunny.  We stopped and looked.  And the moment froze in time.  My human braced herself for the PONdemonium.  We all looked at the rabbit.  And Einstein looked at the bunny and looked at me.  And I stared at it. And Einstein AGAIN looked at the bunny and looked at me.  And my human was watching the two of us and held her breath.  And she stepped one stepped forward and the bunny jumped into the woods.  And guess what WE did?   NOTHING.  Seriously – we KNOW she is busy at work, so we decided to be nice.  For once.  But don’t count on this behavior lasting forever.  

It’s Friday – and we are GLAD.  BUT the forecast is calling for RAIN this weekend.  But not to worry – we’ll find ways to entertain our human indoors.

Have a good one.

So the other morning, the FG got to go for a run with Jackson.  Einstein and I had our long walk, and then the FG got his turn.  My human brought the new tug toy – the one that is just like Jackson’s – and Jackson’s human actually brought his as well.  The two dogs reportedly had a BLAST – racing around the golf course with the toy – up and over the hills, through the woods and of course, into the ponds.  Jackson LOVES to swim.  The FG not so much.  But he has a dilemma when the fetch toy is thrown into the middle of the pond.  He WANTS it.  Really badly.  Really REALLY badly.  But as soon as he is getting in over his head – he stops and comes back to shore.  Letting Jackson get the toy.  He just can’t seem to figure out the mechanics of swimming.  Time to haul out the old life jacket.  My human actually used it with one of her Bernese to teach him to swim – and it worked.  Although he never would have won any Olympic medals for the performance of his dog paddle.  It wasn’t pretty.

Anyway, the FG IS pretty clever though.  He simply waits until Jackson swims out, gets the toy, swims back, and then HE grabs it from Jackson.   Good thing Jackson is such a patient dog!  But I must confess – the FG DOES figure things out…he’s smart thief….

It was the first time he went for a walk and he actually BEHAVED the whole hour.  Jackson didn’t lose any hunks of tail hair and the FG didn’t take off and have to be captured.   MAYBE he is maturing.   Bwhahahahaha.  Who am I kidding?

Have a good one.

Today is May 3rd and according to the crazy calendar, it is Wordsmith Day.  I’m not sure exactly who celebrates it – maybe the people who work at dictionary companies.  I got to thinking about all the words we have been “taught” in our house.  And frankly we understand a LOT more than we let on.  But we often pretend we haven’t heard some of these words EVER before.  Especially if they are being requested, and there are no treats in sight.  Now there are some dogs – like that famous Border Collie who has like 1000 words in his vocabulary.  He has names for all of his toys – and he has a pile of them.  We’re not exactly there.  Here’s our list, which includes a few phrases:
sit, stay, stand, flat (or down), back up, spin, twist, get it, go out, over, jump, go up, one at a time, hurry up, go pee, come (or here), strut, easy, wait, paw, find it, find the bunny, quiet, around, look, leave it, bananas, stack it and THE BEST – treats…

The consistency with which we actually respond to ALL of them varies.  I would say Einstein is the best – and although he KNOWS what “quiet” means, and he WILL stop barking, it generally doesn’t last.  Elroy’s best word is paw.  It’s his favorite.  And we know mine.  Treats.  

And finally in honor of Wordsmith Day, a few more entries from the Viktionary!  Enjoy!

My human is taking this as a sign that MAYBE luck around here is about to change.  She dodged a bullet the other morning – a very prickly bullet…

My human is about to begin a busy but exciting time at work.  So yesterday morning she was up before 5 to give us good walks before breakfast.  The FG went out first – with my human wearing her trusty headlamp.  However, the trusty headlamp is in need of new batteries – so the beam doesn’t extend much beyond arm’s length.  Not exactly ALL that helpful – however, when walking on the road, the neighbors driving on the road can still spot her little light.

She and the FG walked all the way up the driveway, down the road and back.  When they reached the end of the driveway, she went to take the newspaper out of the delivery box.  She handed it to the FG.  Now the consistency of the paper delivery after that point varies from day to day.  Sometimes the FG is serious about his job.  And he carries the paper right to the door.  Other days the paper becomes a toss toy.  Up it goes.  Then he grabs it again – and up it goes again.  And FORGET giving him the paper if it is not in a plastic bag.  It becomes confetti.

Anyway, yesterday he was serious about his job.  And as they headed back down the driveway, my human saw the poop bag they had left (with contents) on the way out.  No point in carrying it the whole time – she left it for pick-up on the return.  She approached the bag – and then she looked BEYOND the poop bag.  And it was still rather dark – but just starting to get bright enough that she could see something in the driveway, without her headlamp – which was of no assistance.  What WAS that?  There have been quite a few bunnies hanging out in the past few weeks – so she wondered if that’s what it was.  They took a few more steps toward the object.  Hmmmm….Too big for a bunny.  Maybe a cat?  No – a few more steps and it was bigger than a cat.  And then it started moving away from them – and she realized what it was.  A porcupine! Well the FG took one look at it and wanted NOTHING to do with it.  He was of course on leash but he made no attempt to pull toward the mysterious creature. He just wanted to get home with his paper.  Mr. Porky went off to the right and disappeared into the woods.  Contrary to popular belief – porcupines do NOT shoot out their quills if approached.  But if touched – beware because one will quickly become impaled.  I remember.  VERY well.

The FG and my human arrived home safe and sound.  But now the question -should she DARE take me and Einstein TOGETHER for our walk?  I mean if we see something and one is not prepared – well… we exert QUITE a pull.  But my human wanted to give BOTH of us a good walk and she didn’t have time to take each of us separately.  So she filled her pockets with treats, braced herself and headed out the door.  Not only was Mr. Porky gone, neither of us seemed to even pick up his scent as we crossed the place in the driveway that he had walked.  Our walk was completely uneventful – which makes for a boring ending to the blog – but a FABULOUS ending for my human.

We’ll have to keep an eye out for Mr. Porky and no off leash time after dusk.  OR early in the morning.  My human has no time to be hauling out the pliers and doing home surgery again.

Oh and by the way, the FG has been within 20 feet of a bunny, and he could not care less.  Unlike some PONs in this household.  Perhaps he just needs a lesson in rabbit hunting…yours truly wil be happy to provide instructions!

Have a good one!

It’s May 1st and it’s also National Purebred Dog Day.  A day to appreciate canines who have been bred for a particular reason – and whose traits are “standardized” by various dog registries.  To be considered a “purebred” a dog must have a documented pedigree.  The World Canine Organization or Fédération Cynologique Internationale (FCI) is the largest registry of purebreds in the world – and they recognize 339 different breeds.  The FCI divides the dogs into 10 different groups – which generally designate why they were bred.  The 10 groups are:

1. Sheepdogs and Cattle Dogs other than Swiss Cattle Dogs
2. Pinscher and Schnauzer – Molossoid Breeds – Swiss Mountain and Cattle Dogs 
3. Terriers
4. Dachshunds
5. Spitz and Primitive Types
6. Scenthounds and Related Breeds
7. Pointers and Setters
8. Retrievers – Flushing Dogs – Water Dogs
9. Companion and Toy Dogs
10. Sighthounds

The American Kennel Club and Canadian Kennel Clubs divide the breeds into 7 groups:  Sporting, Hound, Working, Terrier, Toy, Non-sporting, and Herding.  The AKC recognizes 202 breeds, the CKC recognizes 175.

When you are adopted by a purebred puppy, you can pretty well predict what the dog will look like, and what behaviors it will exhibit – based on the inherent traits for which it was bred.  Also, if you get your dog from a reputable breeder, you know that care has been taken in screening the parents for health issues, so that the likelihood of your dog having those problems is significantly less.  The age old argument that mixed breed dogs are healthier does not hold true as proven by a  2013 study at UC Davis in California.  

The KEY is in getting your dog from a breeder who has taken care in studying pedigrees and in making every attempt to breed dogs who will be healthy.  Breeding healthy dogs is NOT a simple task – and something that should NOT be done without careful planning and consideration.  Just saying, Fluffy Vandercoy, a toy poodle is pretty and has papers so let’s breed her to Maxwell MacGoo another toy poodle with papers, isn’t enough.  While the breeder MAY be well-intentioned, without more serious study in the pedigrees, the puppies from Fluffy and Maxwell could have all kinds of problems. 

As an educated consumer looking for a puppy- you need to ask the breeder all kinds of questions – AND be prepared.  As well, a good breeder will ask YOU all kinds of questions!!  If they DON’T ask you questions, it’s probably because they don’t REALLY care about the puppies – they are more interested in money!  And for those who think that purebred breeders make TONS of cash by having a litter, I’m here to tell you – it’s not a money making endeavor for most people.  You have to consider the following for the owner of the female:  the costs of health screening, the costs to “use a stud dog”, the costs of ultrasound and/or x-rays before the puppies are born, and the costs of veterinary care WHEN the puppies are born – which MAY include a C-section.  Add to that the care and socialization of the puppies for at LEAST 8 weeks – and you have a pretty expensive outlay.  

Purebred dogs have taken a bad rap in recent years, due to poor breeding practices.  But just as there are poor breeders – there ARE awesome breeders as well, and there are inroads being made to improve and eradicate specific health issues in breeds.  The key is in communication – with people working TOGETHER.

Purebred dogs have been around for centuries – with some breeds dating back 2000 years!  And hopefully, in another 2000 years,  purebreds will continue to exist – sharing our unique looks and behaviors, working at the side of humans and holding a special place in your heart!

Cheers to purebreds.  Oh – and that means EXTRA treats!