Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

National Personal Chef Day

July 16, 2015Leave a Comment

July 16. National Personal Chef Day. We canines have our own personal chefs. They are called our humans. And some are more creative than others. Some humans make specially prepared meals for their dogs every day. Some put a scoop in bag of kibble or open a can and serve that. And for some it is a combo of both. If left to my own devices, I would be QUITE happy to help myself to my own meals. But the result would not be good. I would quickly become a 100 lb PON.

And speaking of weight gain – a new study just came out in England that indicates we purebred pups are becoming a bit too portly. The researchers looked at almost 1000 photos of dogs taken at the Crufts Dog show between 2001 and 2013. And it seems about 25% of the dogs were a bit too robust. Especially pugs, basset hounds and labs. They didn’t mention PONs. Thank goodness.

There is probably no coincidence that humans are ALSO a bit too portly these days. Perhaps a solution to the weight problem is for chunky humans to get out and take their chunky dogs for a walk. Problem solved.

Now excuse me while I go and see what is on the menu for today. Hey….now there’s an idea – dog restaurants! Mind you, the dining time would be pretty quick…

Cheers!

Saint Swithun’s Day

July 15, 2015Leave a Comment

July 15. Saint Swithun’s Day. He’s not as well known as Saint Patrick or Saint Nicholas – but he is the patron saint of Winchester Cathedral. He’s supposed to be a guy that you pray to in the event of a drought. Legend has it that if it rains on Saint Swithun’s Day, it will rain for 40 days more. There is even a poem about it:

St Swithun’s day if thou dost rain

For forty days it will remain

St Swithun’s day if thou be fair

For forty days ’twill rain nae mare

I’m not one to be terribly superstitious and I also don’t really bank on the weather people to get the forecast right either. I still say the best forecasting tool is a window. Look out and see what is happening. Frodo and I can forecast weather. If the door opens and we won’t go out, it’s raining.

Despite my pragmatic approach to the weather, I’m a BIT concerned as there IS rain forecast for today. Who is the patron saint you pray to, to stop raining or flooding? Hmmmmmm…..Wait. I found one. Saint Florian – he’s a patron saint of Poland. My kind of guy. He can be prayed to against flooding. He’s also a patron saint of brewers. He’s getting better all the time.

Saint Honoratus of Arles can be prayed to “for rain” and “against rain”. Too wishy washy for me.

I’ll go with the Saint Swithun’s forecast if it is good, and if not, I’ll get Saint Florian on the line. Like a good politician, I’ll hedge my bets.

Happy Saint Swithun’s day. May your forecast be good!

Stamp it out

July 14, 20153 Comments

July 14. On this day in history in 1845 in the US, the first postmasters’ provisional stamps were issued in New York City. It seems that stamps were being used earlier in the 1840’s in England – the first one was called the Penny Black. After the first stamps in England, other countries followed suit. Today, it costs about $150 to mail a letter from Canada. OK. Not THAT much. But the costs seem to go up daily. It’s sad – my human tells me that back in the old days, people used to send letters a LOT. Now everything is electronic. No wonder she becomes happy if she gets an old-fashioned letter. Which Paxton can then destroy. Personally, in our house, I think e-mail is safer.

Anyway, I had to look and see if I could find any postage stamps with Bernese or PONs on them. I found that Bernese stamps have been issued by a number of countries including, Guyana, Laos, West Africa, Finland, Monaco and of course, Switzerland. Some of those surprised me…I wonder how many Bernese are in West Africa….chasing lions….seriously.

Anyway, of course I had to see if there have been stamps issued with PONs on them. I found two from Poland – which is cool – but I didn’t find any from other countries.

So of COURSE, my human had to see if we could get a stamp in Canada with a PON on it. And low and behold, you can make your own stamps. Which cost a hefty price, but then, I’m worth it. I automatically ASSUMED the stamp would have MY image on it – after all, I’m the one with the blog. But nooooooooooooo. My human is too “fair” for that. So I would have to have my image WITH Frodo.

And then she started thinking she felt badly for Paxton. So, it suddenly becomes a stamp with the three amigos.

I vote for three DIFFERENT stamps – one for each of us. Or if it is JUST one of us, you know who I pick.

I have a feeling this stamp idea isn’t over yet…

Sirius

July 13, 2015Leave a Comment

The Dog Days of Summer. How many of you assumed that the saying refers to the fact that we dogs find the summer sun hot and we often prefer to lounge around in the shade? Nope. Who knew it has to do with a star? The dog star – Sirius. Back in the time of the ancient Greeks and Romans (just a few years before my human was born), the appearance of Sirius rising in the heavens– just before the sun, occurred in July, which was also the hottest time of the year. The days became known as the Dog Days. So TECHNICALLY, the saying has nothing to do with overheated canines – but over the years people have begun to think that it is the origin.

Sirius would be a cool name for a dog. I’ve never met one before. I must remind my human that when she gets me the Coonhound I want.

Stay cool!

Bubbles

July 12, 2015Leave a Comment

My human. She really is something else. This whole obsession with taking photos of us is crazy. Doesn’t she have enough? I mean it’s not like we dyed our hair or got a new hairstyle. And she gets these crazy ideas about photos. With props. Without props. In the woods. In the yard. On a rock. On the lawn. In the house. Seriously it is like living with full-time paparazzi. And yesterday she went to the dreaded Dollar Store. Source of all things embarrassing to canines. The supplier of all sorts of dreaded holiday attire. But WHAT could she have THIS time? All the holidays are over…

For some God forsaken reason she was walking down the children’s aisle in the Torture Store and what did she see? Bubbles. So of course she got this BRILLIANT idea that she could get some photos of us looking at bubbles. Wouldn’t that just be so special? Right.

So she makes the purchase – which is more than a dollar. Of course it is. And she brings it home. And I get the first round. But before we go out, my human ties up my hair so I won’t miss a single bubble. Outside we go. I am so revved up because I think we are going to play retrieving. Not quite. The bubbles are excitedly dispersed. And they fly everywhere. And I just stand there. And I don’t pay the LEAST bit of attention to the bubbles. I am looking for the retrieving toys. Again the bubbles are dispersed with the excited human voice repeating: “What’s that Viktor?”. All dogs know that voice. The one humans use when attempting a photo. I don’t pay any attention. Bubbles are repeatedly dispersed. Over and over. Now I become interested. In the bubble wand. Who cares about the ridiculous soapy orbs. A few convoluted shots are taken. And my bubble photo shoot ends. And the next bubble subject is brought out. I’m not sure how it was possible for Frodo to pay LESS attention to the bubbles. But he did. The photo attempts didn’t last long. The last subject was Bucket Head. All hopes were pinned on the dog that obsesses over dust particles in the air. And drumroll….no luck with the big guy either. He just took off and peed on a new plant.

So that was it for the bubbles. Money well-spent. PLEASE tell me they don’t sell kites at the Dollar Store. Or snorkeling equipment…

Bubble bloopers….

This would be a great shot- if I was actually LOOKING at the bubble

My opinion about bubbles

PONderson Cooper. And Ronald Trump.

July 11, 2015Leave a Comment

PONderson Cooper interviews Ronald Trump From PNN (The PON News Network)

Cooper: So, Mr. Trump, I understand you are running for President.

Trump: Yes, PONderson, I have lots of money. I can do anything,

Cooper: So Mr. Trump, what’s your opinion on unlicensed dogs?

Trump: Unlicensed dogs are a danger to the public. As well, certain breeds should probably be banned as well.

Cooper: But Mr. Trump, the research shows that it is OWNERS, and not specific breeds that are bad.

Trump: Is that what the research says? Well I don’t know anything about that. Besides, I can pay someone to do other research. I have lots of money.

Cooper: So what would you do about all the unlicensed dogs and certain breeds?

Trump: I would build a HUGE kennel so they could never get out. And I would make their owners pay for it.

Cooper: Mr Trump are you aware that Jeb Brush once signed legislation in Florida allowing dogs in restaurants?

Trump: He did? I don’t know about that. In fact, I don’t know what most of the other candidates did. But I DO know something. I have lots of money. Did I mention that before?

Cooper: Yes. Yes you did… Mr. Trump – do you have a dog?

Trump: No. But I can get one. I have lots of money. I can buy any dog I want.

Cooper: Are you aware that every President since Theodore Roosevelt has had a dog?

Trump: Really? OK. I must get one. PONderson, what breed are you?

Cooper: I’m a Polish Lowland Sheepdog Mr. Trump. And I’m very intelligent. VERY intelligent. Perhaps a bit TOO intelligent for you I‘m afraid…

Blueberries

July 10, 2015Leave a Comment

July 10. Today is Pick Blueberries Day. Wild blueberries are the largest fruit crop in Nova Scotia – and Oxford, Nova Scotia is the wild blueberry capital of Canada. There’s some blueberry trivia for you – if you are ever on the game show Jeopardy. I’m not quite sure blueberries are ready to pick just yet – but it won’t be long. We dogs LOVE blueberries. And bananas. And apples…and…lots of different vegetables too.

So although I didn’t officially go blueberry picking at a farm– I knew this “holiday” was coming up, so yesterday I picked some blueberries. Indoors. From my human’s friend’s bowl of oatmeal. You would think he would have learned by now that I can’t be left alone for even ONE second with food on the table. But I guess he wasn’t yet awake – and when he left his breakfast bowl – which contained some yummy blueberries AND some bananas too – for just a second- I had just enough time to bury my face in the bowl before he shouted “Stop.” What can I say? I love fruit. It’s a healthy way to start the day. I thought he was finished.

Suuuuuuuuuuuure I did. When is the next Forgiveness Day?

My crazy human

July 9, 2015Leave a Comment

Great. She’s at it again. It never fails – my human sees someone doing something with their dog, and she wants to try it…

The other day, she went to something called a Tattoo. No – she didn’t GET a tattoo – a Tattoo is a military “performance” which involves military bands and marching. There is a BIG one here in Nova Scotia – and it includes lots of bagpipes. My human isn’t quite sure WHAT we would do if we heard a bagpipe. Chances are, our resident soloist, Frodo would join in with some singing – while Pax and I would probably run. It would be interesting. But I digress.

So my human went to see the big Tattoo the other day – which had ALL kinds of performances (not just marching bands) from countries all around the world. I hear it is quite the spectacle. Anyway, during intermission, there was a demonstration by a local K9 Police dog and his handler. It SEEMS this dog can differentiate colors – and he demonstrated that he could. So you guessed it – my human thinks I should try to do this. And she came home with this “great idea.” I think someone needs to remind her about those crazy expensive interactive dog toys that she bought at Christmas. The ones that Paxton tried to eat, and Frodo tried to claw apart. I was the interactive dog toy superstar – relatively speaking. But we never quite mastered the first toy – so the other two are collecting dust in the closet. Does she SERIOUSLY think she can train any of us to differentiate colors?

Honestly, I love her – but this woman comes up with the craziest ideas sometimes. Next thing you know, she’ll want to start writing her own blog!

Young again.

July 8, 2015Leave a Comment

July 8. Be a Kid Again Day. That’s a cool idea. Humans should try it. Go play on a swing. Go for a bike ride and ring the bell. A lot. Go down a slide. Build a fort. In the middle of the living room – with small tables and a blanket. Play hopscotch. Run through a sprinkler on the lawn. Read a comic book. Go fishing. Play softball – in the backyard. Play hide and seek. Run around. And around. Until you fall down.

Note that these are the things my human would have done as a kid. No mention of smart phones, video games or laptops. I think things were simpler when she was a kid 150 years ago.

And if I went back to MY puppyhood, what would I do? Fetch a ball. Dig in the garden. Bark at birds. Beg for treats. Do zoomies. Pee in the house. Hey – most of those things I STILL do. Except for the pee in the house part. We dogs live simpler lives, with reckless abandon. Just like kids. Haven’t I always said, we are smarter than humans??? More evidence. Clearly we have more training that we need to do with you. We’ll keep working on it.

Have wonderful playful day!!

Forgiveness.

July 7, 2015Leave a Comment

July 7. Global Forgiveness Day. Wow. That’s a biggie. IMAGINE if people would REALLY forgive people when they do something wrong. And countries would forgive other countries. This would sure be a very different world…

And let’s think about ALL the things that I would need forgiveness for….There can’t be THAT many…hmmm…..chasing squirrels. And leaping against the front door when it is time to go for a walk. And attacking Frodo when he comes through the door. Or down the stairs. And licking Paxton’s face. A lot. And staring at the door where the dog food is kept. And running off in the woods. And stealing Frodo’s and Paxton’s toys. And getting on the bed – when I’m not supposed to. And sneaking into the DFZ. And scraping all the new finish off the deck. In an effort to get at that bird’s nest. And refusing to go out when it rains. And squirming on the grooming table. And staring at my human when she is eating….

Yikes. This list is getting long. But WAIT a minute. All of this stuff is what we dogs DO. And if I didn’t do these things, wouldn’t life be pretty boring? I can’t ask for forgiveness for being a dog! And a pretty clever one at that! So forget all that stuff. I guess I’ll be the one forgiving today. How about I forgive my human for not completely filling my food bowl to the very top. There. Forgiveness accomplished. For today.