Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

A PONtastic day at Crufts

March 13, 2016Leave a Comment

So my human had another big day at Crufts yesterday. It has been a busy couple of days so far – and as predicted, her roommate collapsed and couldn’t even GO yesterday. My human wore her out.. But my human still kept going. She got up at the crack of dawn and headed to the train station:

She got to the Dog show and her first stop was caffeine. She was in line with 456 other people.

Her next stop – after coffee- was the Bernese ring. She ended up sitting next to and making friends with a lovely couple who won their class. The couple cried. My human cried. She hugged them. They hugged her. And they will probably never see each other again. But it was an amazing moment all around. Human’s are so strange….

Then my human faced the crowds. All to find a GROOMING tool for us. How CRAZY WAS that!? She faced crowds of thousands of people just to find another instrument of torture. Perfect.

Then came her chance to meet more PON people. Go figure. People would say “it’s Viktor’s human!” And get this – people gave her hugs and gifts and handshakes – all because of ME. She met so many wonderful PON people – but that makes sense. After all, we PONs would only OWN wonderful humans.

I’m a bit jealous about all the PONs she met and petted. Those guilt gifts had better be awesome.

Notice none of those dogs have my asymmetrical ear trimming styling? I need to start traveling more and offering my services to other PONs.

And then my human watched the PON beauty pageant. Here are a few photos:

And here is what happens to a judge when he judges us PONs. He is knocked over by our amazingness. If there is such a word.

And here are the winners of the boys and girls. The boy won the Best of Breed. Of course.

So you KNOW when my human gets home, she will insist on grooming us. With her newest instruments of torture. And she’ll stare at the show schedule and debate whether she should enter me. I have to keep trimming my legs. So she can’t enter me.

She stayed to watch the Working Group and the Holy Pastoral Group judging at the end of the day yesterday. When the Bernese didn’t make the cut, she fell asleep. She woke up to watch the Holy group and when the PON didn’t make the cut, she headed for the train. She collapsed when she got back to her hotel. I hope she will live through the last day of the show today. And heaven forbid she decides to do ANY more shopping at booths that sell grooming supplies…..

Have a wonderful Sunday. Our last day to torment our sitter! Our human gets home tomorrow night. I had better start behaving. Seriously. I WANT that bunny!!!!

More from Crufts

March 13, 2016Leave a Comment

Well. Another day at Crufts. And WHAT a day it was. According to my human – who Skyped with me last night. She sent me another set of photos. Most of which made me even more jealous – except for one…

First of all, she sent some photos showing some of the VERY stressed Gundogs she saw yesterday. Lots of hyper, agitated dogs. Here are a sample…

Looks like Crufts is lots of fun….

She also sent me some photos of an amazing drill team made up of Golden Retrievers and their humans. It reminded my human of the old days when she used to do Drill Team – with Paxton! But she said this group was REALLY good.

I’ve never done Drill Team. They stopped the Team when I came along. I call it coincidence. My human calls it fate. You see the one photo where ONE dog is doing something different from the rest of the group. That would have been me.

My human also spent some time in the Discover Dogs area – which is like our club’s Meet the Breed. Only 1000 times bigger because every breed is there. Of course she HAD to take a photo with our provincial namesake:

AND get THIS – she took pictures of and petted PONS. Totally not fair. She said one dog kept barking and his human said he just started doing that. Of course – he is just like Frodo. And now we understand why – my human brings out the barking badness in us dogs! It’s her fault! He are those dogs and their human:

The funniest part of Discover Dogs was when my human was looking for the Bernese. And it wasn’t hard to find them. All one had to do was look at the carpet in front of their display.

Do Bernese shed? Nah. My human pointed out it looks like our house. No wonder we go through vacuum cleaners like toilet paper.

Now here is a photo of a Spinone trying out a new indestructible dog bed.

Unless it was in our house…

My human also sent me some cruel photos:

She threatened to buy these swimming pools. Like Frodo and I would ever get in them:

And here is a photo of a PON in agility, I think:

He doesn’t look too successful.

My human also went to a dinner with PON people last night! She said there were people from all over – a wonderful bunch of PONettes. She said it was soooo nice to meet everyone and talk PON all night. She can’t wait to see the PONs in the beauty pageant today. They won’t probably be competing until the afternoon – but knowing her she’ll be there extra early to get a seat. Today is the Working group and the Pastoral group. I thought it sounded like some kind of religious group – my human explained it is the same as our Herding group. Heavens knows I would never be considered part of a saintly group!

And finally – here is THE best photo from yesterday. My human is SUCH a joker. I think she bought one of those bunnies for me!!!!!!! Or it is a very strange dog breed.

So we’ll see what photos she sends after today. I will definitely behave now that I know she bought the bunny. Or I hope she did….

Good luck to all the PONs and Bernese competing today! And remember – you are ALL winners. That’s my politically correct inspirational message for today.

Have a great one!

News from Crufts

March 10, 20161 Comment

Well my human texted me last night and told me ALL about her first day at Crufts. And I am so jealous Because she saw DOGS all day long. I should have been there. But…..she also did some shopping. Apparently a LOT of shopping. AND she took some photos. She told me what they were – but I mixed up the captions so I’m just making some of them up. So here we go…

Here is the entrance. My human and her friend got there just after the doors opened. She was so excited- it’s not even a great photo. But here ya go:

Here is the new furniture she is buying for us. Not:

Can you IMAGINE how long that would last in our house?!

I think she said this was a photo from the obedience ring. She said these dogs were very well behaved:

And this was a mean photo she sent. LOOK at the bunnies. Just look at them. She better have bought one:

And here is another obedience photo. Good luck Frodo. She’s been inspired. Again.

Here is her friend from Halifax who actually qualified with her dog in Bermuda. They get around. No big ribbons – but of course he’s a winner anyway,

And here’s what happens to dogs at the end of the day. They collapse.

Or was THAT the long stay in obedience? Beats me.

All I know is that my human met lots of people. Even on the train. Did I mention she likes to talk?! And you see those collapsed dogs? That’s supposedly what she looked like when she got back to the hotel. She stayed until the bitter end of the show – watching the Utility and Toy Group judging.

Today she is very excited because she will meet PON people! She is going to some kind of dinner. I just hope she doesn’t tell any bad stories about me.

And today the Gundogs are being judged. I never knew dogs could carry firearms. They must have to take some kind of course for it….

So here we are at home. Tormenting the sitter. But not too badly- as we HEAR there are some really good guilt gifts. But only for those of us who behave…

Have a good one. I know I will!

Hey Buddy.

March 9, 2016Leave a Comment

March 9. Today, according to the crazy calendar, is Discover What your Name Means Day. Of course, my name, Viktor means “the conqueror.” How appropriate. Paxton means “peaceful town.” Our house is anything BUT peaceful with Bucket Head. And Frodo? It has no meaning. Frodo is a Frodo. I did find a Frode from Norway which means “wise one”- which actually fits.

I’ve talked before about how humans agonize over a name for a dog and then they call us an assortment of other names as well. Some people have a certain type of dog, and the name is tied to the breed. For example, a beagle would be named Snoopy. Or a Golden Retriever would be called Midas. Here’s a few, and let’s see if you can pick the breed that I would pick:

1. Sparky

2. MacTavish

3. Rocky

4. Pierre

5. Hunter

6. Queenie

7. Chico

8. Cocoa

9. Rusty

10. Simba

And here are my answers – although I am sure there could be more than one!

1. Dalmation – the official firehouse dogs!

2. West Highland White Terrier OR a Scottish terrier

3. Boxer – of course

4. Poodle. Just because

5. Labrador Retriever OR one of the other sporting breeds

6. Corgi – of course

7. Chihuahua – of course

8. Chocolate lab – of course

9. Irish Setter

10. Lowchen – the Lion dog

If I was going to rename Frodo, I would call him Einstein. And Paxton? He would be Buddy. In Nova Scotia, people call people Buddy all the time. It’s actually quite funny. “So did Buddy show up to clean your furnace?” “What time is Buddy going to deliver that package?” “Did you see Buddy at the coffee shop got a haircut.” Everybody is a Buddy here. It’s a popular dog name, but I really thing Pax could be a Buddy. I think I’ve even heard my human call him Buddy – as in “Come ON Buddy, it’s time to poop.”

Remember, whatever name you pick for us, can be dangerous. Remember that dog named Grim – and how he ended up meeting an early demise. Naming your dog Evil or Stormy or Chaos COULD be dicey. Although I DO think Chaos has a nice ring. Maybe I’ll make that my middle name. Viktor Chaos. Just call me VC for short. Wait until my human gets home and finds my new name. I just hope she doesn’t buy me any monogrammed gifts while she is at Crufts. I must text her. I had a short message from her yesterday letting me know she arrived at her destination across the pond. She told me she has seen quite a few sheep. Frodo and I just rolled our eyes – we’re all about the guilt gifts – not the sheep. The show doesn’t start until tomorrow – she had better be resting up today so she is ready to begin her Crufts adventure. And we will continue with OUR adventures here…

Have a good one!

Crufts. Let the Games begin!

March 8, 2016Leave a Comment

Ok. So today is the day that Crufts begins. Four days of dogs, dogs and more dogs. Today is the day of the beauty pageant for the Toy breeds and the Utility breeds. So that means the little wind-up dogs and the dogs who don’t like sheep, hunting, or pulling carts. They are also called the non-sporting breeds. I want to know if that is the same as poor sports? I think it does. I mean did you ever see the look on a Standard Poodle’s face if he DOESN’T win?

My human WILL watch some of the toy breeds today because a lady from the Halifax Kennel Club is showing a dog! Her very own Papillon. So my human will have to cheer them on. She also has some tickets for Obedience today. You know what THAT means. When she gets back she’ll be so inspired by the dogs she sees there – she’ll THINK we can do the same. Well maybe not me – but Frodo can.

We are behaving. So far. My human told the sitter about the mouse event – and even though we have had no further visiting by Mickey, the sitter is QUITE nervous about mice. I think I’ll play the run-to- the-cupboard-and-pretend- I -saw- something game. That’s always fun…

Anyway, I hope you have a fabulous Thursday! And you know, you can watch some of the action from Crufts on-line at http://www.crufts.org.uk. I’ll be watching to see if I can spot my human in the crowd. And I want to see what kind of packages she is carrying…

She’s gone. Day 1.

March 8, 2016Leave a Comment

So. While my human has abandoned us and gone off to Crufts, I decided I will continue to write my blog without her. I’m also including photos from our old photo album. I can’t tell you about all of our adventures while she is gone – as I am afraid she will read the blog – and the guilt-gift-buying will cease. I MAY write about what SHE is doing, IF she Skypes with me…

Instead, I have decided in the meantime to look at famous quotes in history, and I will modify them to better represent us canines. Basically, I will plagiarize the work of humans. But seriously, who will mind – I’m JUST a dog. For example, here are a few today:

Here is a famous quote by Robert Frost: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

If written by ME – the quote would be as follows:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one that the bunny took. And that has made all the difference. Including the fact that I did not get supper.

John Lennon said: Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

Viktor said: Grooming is what happens to you when you have not managed to run and hide.

Steve Jobs said: Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

Vitkor said: Your time is limited, so don’t waste it being groomed.

Vince Lombardi said: Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.

Viktor said: Winning isn’t everything, unless it comes to food that is accidentally dropped on the floor.

And lastly for today:

Aristotle said: There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.

Vitkor said, in a moment of sibling rivalry: There is only one way to avoid criticism: be Frodo.

Stay tuned for more witticisms from me while my HUMAN is gone!

You’re going WHERE?!

March 7, 2016Leave a Comment

Well, well, well. We FIGURED something was up with all the house cleaning and organizing going on. But the REAL clue was when we saw the SUITCASE come out. My human is leaving us – and the dog sitter is coming. And WHERE do you think my human is going?! To THE biggest DOG show in the world. She is going to Crufts!!! For those who have never heard of Crufts – it is in Birmingham, England and this year marks the 125^thanniversary. There are 21,929 dogs competing for the Best in Show title, with dogs from 47 countries – not including the UK! The show takes place over 4 days and it includes not only the beauty pageant, but obedience, agility, dancing…you name it. ANYTHING to do with dogs. It’s Doggie Disney World. And get this – there is a HUGE room with dozens and dozens and dozens of vendors selling dog stuff. Guilt gift glory!!!!!! Honestly, that is the only reason we are allowing her to go. We suggested she take one empty suitcase to fit all of our gifts.

Since it is a big anniversary for Crufts, I wonder if the Queen will go. Or maybe Charles. Or Harry. Or one of the butlers. I’m SURE some royal connection should be there.

My human is traveling with a friend from our local Kennel Club. I feel sorry for that woman – she doesn’t know what she has signed up for. My human likes to pack in every moment with something – rest is not on her agenda. And get THIS – she was invited to join a group of PON owners from the UK for a special dinner! L-U-C-K-Y or what?!

Yesterday I think she was feeling a tad guilty – so all of us went for a car ride to the grocery store. The windows of Harry are completely COVERED in olfactory art – it is like the car has frosted glass windows. A nice touch. My favorite part of the ride is when Paxton sits directly behind my human – and breathes on her. She has to drive with the window open – and it was pretty chilly yesterday. Score Pax.

She doesn’t leave until this evening – so we will be SURE to keep her busy until then. Now to start planning some tricks for the sitter….

Personal Trainer for hire

March 6, 2016Leave a Comment

You know, we canines could definitely have jobs as Personal Trainers. We are just like the trainer who gets humans to exercise and become more fit. And besides the daily walks that we require, we have an assortment of ways to get humans moving. Here are a variety of examples and they are best employed when the human is doing something else – for example, if they are seated and doing something like reading or working on their computers:

· Stand at the window and bark. And add a little growl. This makes the human get up to see what we are looking at. It doesn’t matter if nothing is there – we pretend whatever it was has disappeared into the woods. The objective, remember is to get that human MOVING.

· Bark at the front door. Like the window technique, this never fails to get a human up and moving.

· Use the urky-gurky sound. NOTHING can get a human moving more quickly – even from a sound sleep, than the sound of a dog before he pukes.

· Start a tussle with one of your canine “brothers.” Make it sound as if you are going to kill each other. But of course you AREN’T – you just want to get that human adrenaline pumping.

· Steal something. And run past the human – just out of reach. The human of course must get up to get back whatever it was. Unless you can eat it first.

· Lick yourself. Or your canine sibling. A LOT. This will get the human to come over and give you something else to chomp on, like a bone.

· INSIST that the human play fetch with you. This activity builds arm muscles. BUT, you can also get them moving by returning with the toy or ball and dropping it. Just out of reach.

· Simply disappear into another room. And be VERY quiet. This will make the human move to see what you are doing.

Yes – we canines DEFINITELY could be Personal Trainers. So for all those humans spending money on gym memberships – I have a better idea. Get a dog.

Have a good one!!

Puppies and more puppies…

March 5, 2016Leave a Comment

So you know how I mentioned that record-breaking treasury (litter) of 17 Maremma Sheepdog puppies in California? Well it seems the number 17 is a lucky number. A Labrador Retriever in North Carolina also just gave birth to 17 puppies. Yellow, chocolate and black. Of course the news reporter called them GOLDEN, chocolate and black. Here’s a warning – never call yellow Labradors “golden.” It drives Labrador people crazy. There are GOLDEN RETRIEVERS – which are a totally different breed. But not GOLDEN Labs. That’s your politically correct dog breed color warning for today.

It seems that although they broke the Lab record in North Carolina, the world record for Labs was 19. And get THIS – the world record for a treasury of any breed of puppies was….drum roll…..24 Neopolitan Mastiff puppies. Although, sadly, four passed away. But still – 20 surviving puppies is a LOT. I’m sure they looked cute – I mean WHAT puppy isn’t. But no offense to Neopolitan Mastiffs – I think they eventually look like some kind of prehistoric cross between an elephant, a rhinocerous and a bullmastiff. And talk about saggy wrinkles! I was going to say they are worse than the wrinkles on my human – but I know where to draw the line…

My human knew of a treasury of 14 Bernese Mountain Dogs born in Canada. What made the litter most amazing was that they were ALL male. CAN you imagine? 14 Bucket Heads. Scary.

Speaking of Bucket Head, we have had no evidence of Mickey Mouse, but Pax will still occasionally look at the ceiling. Now I think he’s doing it just to freak out my human. I’m thinking I should join in on the joke. I’ll race to the cupboard and pretend I saw something. I tried to convince Frodo to join in, but the Professor has no interest in such puppy-ish games. He is such a stick in the mud.

Well, it’s time to go and get my human to take us out. It’s Saturday- and it’s snowing. Yes. The dreaded “s’ word. My human is hoping this is the LAST snow for the season. She is such a dreamer.

I hope all of you have a fantastic day!

Was that a mouse?

March 4, 20161 Comment

Waiting for the Pest Control Guy

Oh the drama in our house. The other night, my human was working on her laptop in the dining room. And Paxton went crazy. He was lying next to my human, he jumped up and ran to the other room with his tail between his legs. Then he ran to the front door and started barking. And then he came back to my human, looking very nervous, got REALLY close to her and started staring at the ceiling. Which can mean only one thing. We have a mouse in the house. I have written before about our yearly “preparing of the arsenal” in the Fall – when we have field mice who decide that staying indoors is MUCH more comfy than outdoors in the winter. And my human now EXPECTS the arrivals– so she is prepared for them. This year, she set the traps early and she plugged up any POSSIBLE points of entry. And we only had ONE lone soul back in the Fall – AND one about two weeks ago. My human was thinking that since we ARE getting closer to Spring, maybe this year the number of annual visitors would be very small. Unlike the huge number of Americans who will be descending on our home in Canada this Fall if Trump becomes President... But I digress.

So the other night my human repeatedly had to reassure Paxton that the mouse would not get him. Frodo and I did not care – although ALL of us got pretty excited when we heard that trap go off two weeks ago. My human had to barricade us in the bedroom while she played mortician. I hate to admit this non-environmental behavior – but she does not re-use traps. Please do not send hate mail. She recycles and uses our compost bin, doesn’t waste water and turns off the lights. But she does NOT reuse traps.

Back to Paxton. Because he was SO agitated, my human started to wonder if it WAS a mouse. Did I happen to mention that the squirrel-free bird feeder is empty? And my human has NEVER seen a bird on it? BUT my human spotted a squirrel hanging off the feeder the other day? And the feeder was VERY, VERY close to the house. So take a neurotic Bernese who hears something, and combine that with a neurotic human who now envisions an attic full of squirrels and you guessed it – we have to call in the Pest Control people.

While the man examined every nook and cranny in the house and climbed up into the attic, we were all sequestered on the deck. Frodo screamed through the glass door that it was JUST A MOUSE – and WE could get him – but my human preferred to pay some guy to put traps in the attic. He didn’t see evidence of squirrels, raccoons, or bears – but he did see mouse poo. Mind you he said it COULD be old mouse poo. Surely in this day and age if they can send a man to the moon and analyze DNA from mummies, they can tell if it’s old or new poo! Apparently not. So several hundred dollars later, we are well-equipped with several DOLLARS worth of traps and Paxton and my human will be able to rest peacefully. Frodo and I just shook our heads…And she calls ME the crazy one….

Have a GREAT Friday!!