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Well this weekend, our municipality has something called a Curbside Giveaway Weekend.  You can put out at curbside any reusable items that you no longer want, but things that others may think is a treasure.  Velcro dog wants to put me at curbside.  I didn’t think that idea was so funny.

I suggested that Velcro dog and I drag  all of the instruments of torture aka grrrrrrrooming tools out to the curbside.  There must be some poor poodle somewhere who could use that stuff.

And speaking of grooming….rumor has it that there will be a groom-a-thon at our house starting tonight.  This Sunday is the day my human has entered Velcro dog and I in two beauty pageants.  So I have 24 hours to grow more hair on my back legs.  WHAT a joke.  Honestly, I don’t stand a CHANCE of bringing home any 25 cents ribbons.  And get THIS – we are entered in the first group being judged which begins at 8AM.  And the show site is about an HOUR from our house.  Which means we will be up in the dark getting ready to go.  My human is already second guessing why she entered us. 

Perhaps I can drop the keys to the car at the curbside….Wish me luck…

©  Linda Wozniak

Harambe.  A name that two weeks ago, most people never knew.  Now – many people have heard the name.  But in case you haven’t, Harambe was a gorilla in the Cincinnati zoo.  Who was minding his own business, in his own “home” when an “intruder” invaded his abode.  It was a 4 year old boy who managed to get into Harambe’s enclosure.  Long story short, Harambe ended up losing his life because of the child.  Which of course, incited rage around the world.   Rage against zoos.  Rage against the shooting of Harambe.  Rage against the parents of the child. 

Primate experts supported the sad decision to shoot Harambe.  They say it is likely he could have injured the child – perhaps not intentionally.  But still, the large animal posed a real threat.  Animal rights people advocates use this sad event as a chance to argue against zoos.  They don’t seem to realize that many zoos have changed a lot over the years – and they are not just a place to go and see animals in captivity – but a place where necessary breeding programs are in place for endangered species – like Harambe’s.  It is likely that if some of these programs did not exist, some species would disappear in the wild due to human poaching.   While the idea of captive animals may be sad, I wonder if it is more sad if those species disappear completely…

Many people are unhappy with the child’s parents.  And really….that does seem to be at the heart of this whole sad story.  Mind you – I wasn’t there – so I don’t know what the parents were doing.  And while I cannot compare a dog to a  child…I cannot help but wonder if a human was walking a dog in the zoo and it got into the enclosure…who would be responsible?  Just saying.

Gorillas and primates in general are pretty darn smart.  Maybe almost as smart as a PON.  I still think if I has opposable thumbs, I would be better able to demonstrate just how smart I am….

And speaking of intelligent primates, allow me to end my blog on a happier note.  This video gave my human a chuckle – although she is not sure about the commentary, because she doesn’t speak Japanese.   But you don’t need the explanation.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An2xqYke1Yg   This dog is a bit more cooperative than I would be – mind you he DID show a HINT of  stubbornness.  My human says it reminds her of walking Frodo in the rain…

Now I am thinking we should get a chimpanzee…  Nah.  I think I’ll stick with my quest for a puppy…

Have a great day!

©  Linda Wozniak

June 1. According to the Crazy Calendar, today is News Year’s Resolution Recommitment Day.  This could probably be celebrated January 3.  Seriously, most humans don’t carry through with their resolutions – some stats say that less than 8% of humans actually stick to their plans.

Anyway, I thought I should look at my resolutions, and see how I am doing…

1.  Stop pouncing on Velcro dog when I go down the stairs first.  Nope.  Still doing it.  So this is my first fail.

2.  Stop providing hair styling services to Velcro dog.  Number 2 fail.  I just cannot stop my artistic flare.  I just can’t.

3.  Stop running off in the woods.  I said unless Paxton went first.  Well, sadly I can no longer blame Pax.  But now I actually do it to carry on HIS tradition.  But it’s number 3 fail.

4. Try my best at scent class.  OK. We had to stop going after the first set of classes due to my human’s schedule – but I WAS good when I was there!  And we hope to go back in the fall.  So this one I accomplished!

5.  I was SUPPOSED to say one thing each day that I was grateful for.  I REALLY should get back to this one.  It’s a good one – and I seemed to forget all about it.  So I GUESS it is technically another fail…

Hmmmm…  so my stats are not too good.  BUT here we go – if we go back to number 5 – I am grateful that I kept even ONE resolution! So there you go.  I’m back on track.

Now I just have to get the bunnies to keep from taunting me to come into the woods.

Oh and and here’s one more for #5 today – I’m grateful for all of you who take the time to read my crazy blog!  Seriously – I really am!

Have a good one!

©  Linda Wozniak

Humans.  Seriously sometimes I look at you and really wonder about you.  You honestly do some very strange things.  Take for example this thing called the Indianapolis 500.  It’s a big auto race in the US.  It was held this past weekend.  And LOADS of people go to watch it.  And watch in on TV too.  They watch cars go around a track.  Around.  And around.  200 times.  200 times.  I mean who thought of that:  Let’s drive around and around – for 500 miles.  Won’t that be interesting?!  If I went around in circles 200 times, I would be taken to the Vet for medication.

And this thing called the Stanley Cup.  The hockey championship.  Does the hockey season EVER end?  I mean, I THINK when hockey began 1000 years ago, it was a winter sport.  WINTER.  Well guess what?  Humans are STILL playing – and it’s the end of MAY.  This hockey season will end, they will take a break for a few weeks and the pre-season will begin.  I don’t get it.

And the salaries that you pay professional athletes.  Holy moly.    The people who make some of the greatest salaries on earth get paid for playing games.  Really. Yes we dogs can play sports too.  But I’m thinking the biggest prizes are NOT in the multi-million dollar range.  We generally win a 50 cent ribbon.   Seriously.  I wish I could get someone to pay me for retrieving a ball.  Just THINK of all the biscuits I could buy….

So those are my observations for today.  And humans think they are smarter than us canines.  I’m not so sure….

©  Linda Wozniak

It’s that time of the year.  Summer is almost officially here.  It’s the time of year when the temperatures get hot.  And humans need to be reminded NOT to leave their dogs in cars.  Really.  Anyone who needs to be reminded probably shouldn’t even be owned by a dog.

Do you know that on a 78 degree day, the temperatures in a car can go to 100 – 120 degrees in less than 15 minutes?!  A dog can quickly suffer heatstroke – or even worse – can die.

One of the large shopping malls in our area hires “Pet Patrol” staff.  These people walk around the parking lots and check for pets in cars.  I think it’s a BRILLIANT idea.   Many areas are beginning to impose fines on owners if their dogs are left in a hot car – and owners can be charged with animal cruelty.  

If you see a dog who appears to be in distress, you can call the police.  If it looks like time is running out, you should probably attempt to break a window.  The best bet is a side window – as the front window is made differently and is stronger.  Look for a heavy object like a rock, or brick or piece of cement.  Some videos on-line show how to break a window with a piece of ceramic from a spark plug – but my question is: Who has the hammer handy to break the spark plug?  And if you DO have a hammer, why not use THAT on the window?  The point is, you may have to break that window – and using your hands alone will be pretty impossible.

Another thing about summer heat – we dogs like to ride with our heads out a car window.  While it may look cute and it will give us an interesting hairdo, keep in mind that we can get things in our eyes while riding like this.  So it’s not really advisable.  I SUPPOSE we can do it if we like to wear goggles….  Count me out.

And lastly, don’t allow us dogs to ride loose in the back of an open truck. In some areas, people can be issued a ticket for this dangerous practice.   If Velcro dog is even in the back seat of the car, my human has to use the child locks on the automatic windows – as he figured out how to open them.  Obviously, for long drives, we use a crate!

So those are my summer suggestions.  It’s not quite summer on the calendar – but not to soon to consider these safety issues.  Really -these suggestions are not for MY regular blog readers – as you are smart enough to know this stuff.  But maybe you can pass it on to those people who are owned by dogs – but probably should have sea monkeys instead…

Have a good one!

©  Linda Wozniak

So on Saturday morning around 4 AM, Frodo and I woke up.  I jumped off the bed (where we dogs are not allowed to sleep) – and Frodo was standing on the alert  in the bedroom doorway.  We woke my human up – because when we move suddenly, it either signifies that someone is going to be sick – or we have heard something.  My human looked at us and we showed no signs of making the dreaded urky-gurky sound (that telltale sound that someone is going to be sick) and she heard nothing else unusual.  And we were not barking so it didn’t appear whatever we heard was particularly ominous like a rabbit – or rustling leaves.   So she rolled over and went back to sleep.  Only to be awakened about a half hour later by something she heard this time herself.  Thunder.  

Now thankfully, neither of us is really afraid of thunder.  But apparently many dogs are.  And some say that we can detect thunder even before it happens due to changes in barometric pressure.  Perhaps that’s what happened with us the other night.  For dogs who are afraid of thunder, there are a variety of ways that are supposed to relieve their fear including, desensitization training; playing competing sounds (like music) during a storm; allowing the dog to go to a safe, comfortable place, like a crate;  or using something called a Thundershirt.  The Thundershirt is a tight fitting wrap that is supposed to exert pressure on soft tissue, resulting in reduced anxiety.  Even the famous professor of animal science, Dr. Temple Grandin has done some research on the effectiveness of the Thundershirt.  There seems to be some evidence that use of the shirt combined with behavioral modification and use of medication, may reduce heart rate and anxiety.  More detailed outcome studies need to be carried out.

We don’t have Thundershirts because we don’t really need them – but my human wondered if wearing our lycra bodysuits would work similarly to exert pressure and cause a calming effect.  Unfortunately, I think those suits cause the OPPOSITE effect.  We want them to come off – so we go EXTRA crazy. 
  
 All this talk of thunder made me think of a new name for myself.  The God of Thunder was Thor.  I like that name.  I think I’ll now go by Thor from now on.  It’s easier than Balthazar and I like it better than Cocoa.  My human made me include this photo – she said it’s perfect because it looks like I was hit by lightning.  Ha. Ha.  Humans sometimes think they are funny.  But remember, Thor always gets the last laugh…and the last rumble.

Have a good one – I hope your skies are sunny.  And quiet.

©  Linda Wozniak

So this week, the Scripps National Spelling Bee was held in the US.  For the third year in a row it ended in a tie.  Let me tell you – the kids who compete in this event are S-M-A-R-T.   I wonder though, if they ever  had to spell Xoloitzcuintli, the name of the Mexican hairless dog.  Really.  I bet that could be a tie-breaker word.

You know, we dogs can learn to spell.  Really.  Some people think we just learn patterns of sounds – but honestly, we DO learn words like T-R-E-A-T and W-A-L-K.   I couldn’t find any scientific experiments showing that we can spell – so I want my human to start one.  Because she has SO much time on her hands.  If there IS a study going on, I want Velcro dog to be enrolled.  He’s pretty smart – so he would be an excellent subject.

I’m not a great speller myself.   See if you can figure out my dog breed spelling errors:
1.  Chiwawa
2.  Labradoor
3.  Peekinknees
4.  Dashhound
5.  Shit-zoo

The CORRECT spellings are:
1.  CHIHUAHUA
2.  LABRADOR
3.  PEKINGESE
4.  DACHSHUND
5.  SHIH TZU

It’s the weekend and we are looking forward to lots of human time.  A good friend of OURS arrived the other day – and he will be hanging out with us for the summer.  My human thinks he comes to visit her – but we know he REALLY comes to visit us.  And of course, I am his favorite.  Or I think I am.  It’s cool – we have him VERY well trained.  We just stare at him and he gives us treats.  All the time.   ALL the time.  Hmmmmm…..  How do you spell the word M-A-N-I-P-U-L-A-T-E? 

Have a great weekend!

©  Linda Wozniak

So for a change – I have a GOOD news story.  And it happened right here in Nova Scotia.

The other night, a Labrador Retriever by the name of Marley, disappeared from the backyard of her home.  If having a lost dog isn’t bad enough – the family was extra distraught because Marley is the service dog for one very sick little boy.  The boy has a rare brain disorder, and Marley helps to warn the family if he is having seizures or other medical emergencies.  

When Marley went missing, the community went into full alert trying to find her.  Even the police, who don’t generally search for lost dogs, were out looking for Marley – using thermal detection equipment to look for her at night.

The GREAT news – she was found the next day and was returned to her home!   

My human warned me that the community response if I were to go missing would NOT be the same.  She told me I had better NOT get any wild ideas. And let’s face it – if I saw the police coming after me, I would keep on running.

In other good news, the Drama King is doing FINE.  F-I-N-E. Honestly, I think he just wanted to go for a drive.  It was raining, and we couldn’t go for a walk – so his emergency clinic visit was a great way to get out of the house.  I must remember that idea.  Mind you – when I had my emergency with the porcupine encounter last fall, my human didn’t take me to the hospital.  I allowed my human to remove them herself.  And I was very tough and stoic.  Hmmmmmmmm.  Perhaps that backfired.  Maybe it DOES pay to be a Drama King…..

Excuse me while I go and squeak.  For no real reason…..

Have a good one!  It’s FRIDAY!!!!!


©  Linda Wozniak

Oh my gosh.   I am rarely angry but I saw something on the Internet the other day that left me steaming. Again.   As I recall, this isn’t the first time I have seen this.  It was a list of the 25 Least Popular Dog Breeds.  And get this – PONs ranked #21 – right between the Komondor and the Norwegian Buhund.  Seriously.  And the reasons why we are undesirable?  We require too much grooming, we are hard to train and we require too much exercise for apartment living.  OK.  I get the grooming thing.  But hello?   Poodles never made the list.  And as for training – show me what to do, and I will NOT forget.  Especially if you give me treats.  My human is embarrassed about how easy it is to train us.  Well at least Velcro dog.  She doesn’t have to do things over and over again.  He gets it.  And as for exercise and apartment living.  First off, we are not exactly the size of a Mastiff.  Who didn’t make the list by the way.    And who says everyone in the world lives in an apartment anyway?!

Frodo is a Drama King.  That’s his new title.