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Miracles. And the naughty list.

Miracles happen.  I know.  I have seen them.  For example – bunnies turn WHITE in the winter. It’s a miracle of nature.  Making them easier to see in the dark at 5 AM when your human is walking you and she is holding onto two leashes and four full poop bags (I warned her about those liver treats) and she is wearing a headlamp to illuminate that bunny so he is even easier to see. And you know if you pull hard on your fluorescent leash, because she is juggling poop bags and leashes while wearing her giant mittens,  that you are free to go and chase that bunny…

I’m not sure which is the bigger miracle.  The fact that bunnies turn white.  Or the fact that my human could find me in the dark, stuck in the woods because my fluorescent leash was caught on a branch.


Back on the naughty list.

Let the weekend begin….

National Christmas Tree Day

Today is December 8 and according to the crazy calendar it is National Christmas Tree Day.  I guess it’s a day to go out and get your tree and then sing Oh Tannenbaum. In the US, while over 33 million real trees are sold, only 2% of people go out and cut their own trees.  In Canada, one of the top three provinces for Christmas tree production is Nova Scotia.  Over 1.8 million trees are harvested annually – and 95% of them leave the province!  As I mentioned the other day, my human went out and cut her tree this year.   She took Frodo to cut a tree once.  The operative word being “once.”  He started harmlessly but incessantly barking at a family out for their festive hunt, while my human was trying to grab him and profusely apologizing and explaining that he “just wanted to say hello.”  Frodo was also appalled by the fact that a Christmas tree farm is very wet and muddy.  I have never been to a tree farm – but I did go to the tree lot last year.  I went with STRICT instructions NOT to pee on any trees.  It was tough.  

But this year none of us went.  Just as well – too many rules.  

So now that the thing is decorated, my human wanted to get a photo of the THREE of us by the tree.  Picture the three of us- who are NOT allowed in the DFZ – with the dog tree and the REAL TREE with all glass ornaments.  And old toys under the tree.  Some of which are STUFFED toys.  Almost as good as letting us loose in the pet store.

My human had to really think this one through.  She got THE best treats she could find – freeze dried liver.  We’ll probably all have the poops for the next three days after she freely doled out the stuff to keep our attention.  First she let me and Frodo in the DFZ.  And she set us up by the tree.  We are PRETTY good at “staying” but once Astro comes in, all control goes out the window.  He has the attention of a gnat and so since HE doesn’t follow commands, I then pretend I don’t know them either.  The photo you see is one of 5, 487 taken.  OK.  That’s a bit of a stretch.  It was actually closer to 6,000.  And no – she did not place our paws that way.  It was during one of the quick “down” commands, that we all actually did together – and that’s how we ended up.  I  must say, it does look good.  But the liver treats were better.

Anyway, whether you have a real tree, an artificial tree or even a photo of a tree – enjoy it today!  And all you dogs – whatever you do – don’t pee on it…

The Shredder

It must be close to a full moon.  Elroy aka the FG aka Astro has been extra crazy lately.  It started with that walk on the weekend – and so it continues.

Every morning, he goes out first for his morning constitutional.  And he brings the paper down from the road.  If the paper is in a plastic bag, all is fine.  But IF the weather is fair and the paper is left loose in the box, that’s when problems arise.  If given a loose paper, Astro will carry it part way down the driveway, drop it and the paper goes everywhere.  So when there IS no plastic bag, my human gives him one of the advertising inserts in the middle of the paper.  And yesterday it all started out fine.  He was holding tight to the rolled up insert.  And then he started walking faster.  And faster.  And then came the toss.  And the paper flew.  And as my human scrambled to pick it up, wearing her big mittens and illuminating the scene with her headlamp, and still trying to hold onto the main paper, Astro proceeded to grab and tear any part he could get his teeth on. So my human is holding onto the main paper, trying to pick up the loose papers, trying to hold back the Tasmanian shredding machine and still stay standing.  She finally gave up and dragged him away – leaving the remnants of the paper in the middle of the driveway.  Thankfully it wasn’t a windy day.  She picked it all up when she took Frodo and I out for our walk. So I have another name for the FG.  The Shredder.

Well today is Letter Writing Day on the crazy calendar – so time to work on your letter to Santa.  And if you write a letter and don’t like the contents, I have someone who can recycle it for you.

Have a good one!

Saint Nicholas. And explosions.

December 6 and it’s Saint Nicholas Day.  Saint Nicholas was a Bishop in the 4th century – in a place called Asia Minor – which is now Turkey.  He did all kinds of good things and legend has it that he was known for secret gift-giving.  Saint Nick became the model for Santa Claus – so he is basically Santa’s predecessor.  Interesting – he was the patron saint of children and also brewers, repentant thieves and pawnbrokers.   Go figure.  He’s also the patron Saint of Greece. And in some places, this day is THE day to get gifts – not Christmas.  I am assuming we will get some extra treats today – or at least some extra banana.  Although I did see that gifts from Saint Nicholas are meant to be shared.  And not hoarded.  I’ll have to work on that…

December 6 also marks a sad day in Halifax, Nova Scotia  history.  It was 99 years ago today that the largest man-made explosion (before the atomic bomb) took place in Halifax harbor.  Two ships – a relief ship and a cargo ship carrying munitions collided in the harbor.  The resulting explosion could be felt more than 200 miles away – in fact windows 50 miles away were said to have shattered.  Half of the city was destroyed – and more than 2,000 people died and another 9,000 were injured.  But despite this terrible tragedy, humans DO help one another in times of need, and relief poured in from Eastern Canada and the North Eastern US.  In fact – the city of Boston helped so much, that to this very day, the city of Halifax sends a Christmas tree to Boston in thanks for all their help.  Check it out:
http://www.cbc.ca/strombo/news/gallery-nova-scotia-christmas-tree-lights-up-boston-common
That’s almost as big as the tree my human cut down on Sunday for our house.  When she brought it home with some friends, Frodo, Elroy and I just looked at each other.  We figured there was NO way that tree would fit in our house.   My human sequestered us while they brought the tree in – as she had visions of one of us peeing on it.  And then the bungee corded gate to the DFZ was secured.  They somehow managed to do some minimal pruning – and the tree fit!!!  Later, while my human was decorating the behemoth, Frodo constantly tried to get in the room – every few minutes.  In fact, he was a bit obsessed with getting in among the 4,398 boxes of ornaments.  There was NO WAY my human could leave the gate unsecured.  But that’s the funny thing with Frodo – he does NOT take no for an answer.  In fact, when they FIRST got home with the tree, all three of us were initially sequestered in the dog run in the garage.  But it wasn’t long before Frodo and I were free.  Frodo managed to squeeze the door open – he’s a bit like worm – he can wiggle his way through.  And I followed him.  Elroy is too big- so he was still stuck in the run…

So once all of this decorating is DONE we are looking forward to sitting under the tree, by the fire and dreaming of sugarplums.  Whatever sugarplums are.   AS IF my human will allow the three of us in there.  At the same time.  BUT – one can dream of it…and if Frodo has anything to say about it, we’ll be in.  And Halifax will experience a second explosion….

Happy Saint Nicholas Day!!!




Dear Santa. Part 3.

And so it continues…

Dear Santa.

I have just a few more questions and a few notes to share, before I actually get to my list.

I understand that you “know when we are sleeping, and you know when we are awake,”  but in the off chance that you were distracted or busy, I wanted share with you the above photo.  As you no doubt know, I have a new “brother” and it has been a rather large adjustment for me – getting used to not being the baby in the household any more.  BUT – I am getting used to Astro (his REAL name is Elroy – but he doesn’t answer to anything right now, so you can call him whatever you like.)  The depicted event happened the other day while my human was wrapping Christmas gifts.  She was on her way to get more wrapping paper – and she suddenly noticed the scene.  She actually gasped when she saw me and Astro together on the bed.  She had to casually move in closer to take the photo – for fear we would see her and scatter. So I am hoping that this “nice” behavior may cancel out some of my occasional indiscretions.

So a few more questions.  If one pees on the Christmas decorations outdoors, does it count as naughty?

And what do you get Baby Jesus for his birthday?  I mean this whole Christmas thing is REALLY his birthday celebration, so what do you get him?  He already has gold, frankincense and myrrh.  Mind you, I’m not sure what he DOES with those things.  I’m sure he would much rather have an iPad.  Or peace on earth. Or a PUPPY!!!

Have you ever considered changing your wardrobe?  I mean the red and white suit – which I THINK goes back to your Polish roots, is nice and all, but maybe something a bit more trendy.  By the way, I am assuming the “fur” on your suit is fake.  I’d hate to see the animal rights people spray painting your sled.  

Do your elves make ALL the gifts?  Or do you source out to other countries?  And are your elves unionized?  Not that it REALLY matters to me where my presents come from – but I’m just a curious dog.

And one more question for today- if at LEAST half of the kids around the world leave a treat for you, that’s a LOT of treats.  Do you share them with your reindeer?  Yet another reason to have a dog – and take him with you on the trip. If you need a volunteer, I’m available.

To be continued…

 

 

Frenzy.





Frenzy.  (n) a state or period of uncontrolled excitement or wild behavior. When you Google the word “frenzy” that is the definition you get.  The only thing missing?  A photo of us three musketeers – when my human gets home from work.
Now I realize most dogs probably get excited when their humans come home.  Heck, we get excited when she comes out of the bathroom.  But when she returns from work – especially on a FRIDAY, we all lose total control.  And don’t kid yourself – we KNOW it is Friday.

The problem with the frenzy at this time of the year, is the fact that it now gets dark out by 5PM.  When my human gets home, she usually opens the door and let’s us all run outside.  And she has to do so rather quickly, because as SOON as she lets Astro out of his kennel, he jumps on her and begins to pee.  He just cannot contain his excitement – and he well…he dribbles.  So she rushes him out the door.  At which point we ALL race around barking at each other.  Like we have not seen each other in years.  

My human usually puts a leash on Mr Dribbles, but on Friday,  he pushed open the door and bolted out.  Which usually would be FINE – but now that it is dark, my human doesn’t want us taking off into the woods…

As soon as he went out, she followed.  And he had a big pee.  At which point, yours truly started heading for the woods.  And of course, my sidekick followed.  Immediately my human starts desperately shouting “Supper time.  Time to eat.   Mmmmmm.  Who’s hungry?”  Like in the frenzy state we listen to anything.  We never really listen at any time, come to think of it – but the frenzy state is even worse.  So she raced back into the house and grabbed her trusty headlamp and a flashlight.  And back outside she went.  

Of course Velcro dog was right there by the door.  We KNOW he’s first on Santa’s NICE list.  And as she headed around toward the back of the house, I came racing back.  Minus Astro.  

When one of us goes AWOL – even for less than a minute, my human panics.  As she came around the side of the house, armed with her headlamp and flashlight – who did she see peeing on the big tree in the backyard but Astro.  And now she had to sound all joyful and happy so he would actually COME BACK instead of doing the zoomies in the woods.  She did the old “pretend I’m running – come and chase me” trick.  And it worked.  He came racing toward her and then went past her and proceeded to “attack” Frodo – his favorite prey.  Really, just Frodo’s tail.  Then he grabbed his long line which was lying on the ground.  My human basically reeled him in – so she could put the leash on him.  AND then she breathed a sigh of relief.  

My human is thinking she really NEEDS to start uttering the mantra “Just be calm,” when she gets home.  She can try that – but we all quite enjoy the adrenaline rush.  And it looks like Astro is responding well to training.  My training.

Have a good one!

Hugs…

So today is December 3 – and it’s “Let’s Hug Day” according to the crazy calendar.  Now I did a blog in the past talking about some “research” that indicated that dogs do not, in fact, like to be hugged.  Well.  It turns out that the research was based on a series of casual observations, and not REAL scientific findings.  So forget those “results.”  Humans.  It’s all in how you twist, I mean “interpret” the data.

The bottom line – just like people – some dogs like to be hugged – and others, not so much.  Now while some research in humans has shown that hugs have health benefits – like reducing blood pressure, I suppose it depends on the hug.  If Aunt Bertha who loves to eat loads of garlic, squeeezes the life out of you when you are 7 years old, you may not be so happy with a hug.  And actually, some countries and cultures don’t view hugging as a sign of affection at all.  

In our house, we PONs are not huge huggers.  I mean we don’t MIND – but we don’t seek out hugs.  My human IS a hugger.  She hugs people she doesn’t even know well.  Not total STRANGERS but people she has met before.  At least once.  But not dogs she doesn’t know.  

And then we have Astro.  I’m wondering if hugging is a Picard “thing.”  I think so.  In fact, when my human went to visit the only other two Picards that she could find in the province, the boy dog stood on his hind legs, put his paws on her shoulders and gave her a BIG hug.  And Astro LOVES to hug.  My human doesn’t really mind him jumping on her and giving a big hug- but it could be an issue with visitors.  So he needs to learn to curb his hugability until invited.  Good luck with that!

Anyway – today is a day of hugs – so if you like ’em, go out and give ’em – but be sure the hugee is ready! And if you’re looking for a dog to hug – find a Picard!

Have a good one!

Hey Buddy

So it seems that a pet sitting company – Dog Vacay, published a list of the most popular dog names of 2016.  For boys it was Max, Charlie, Buddy, Cooper, Jack, Rocky, Toby, Tucker, Oliver and Tyler. For the girls it was Bella, Lucy, Daisy, Lola, Molly, Sadie, Sophie, Maggie, Bailey and Chloe.  My human knows dogs by many of those names. Note though, that Frodo, Viktor and Elroy were not included.  I’m SURE there are lots out there – we just have not yet become the most popular.  That’s OK – we like being unique.  Although it’s funny – there IS a name  in the list that my human calls each of us at any given time – Buddy.  Buddy is kind of a catch all name in Nova Scotia.  Not JUST for dogs – but people as well.   For example, you might hear a human say, “Did Buddy come to fix your plumbing?” or “Buddy delivered the paper late this morning.” or “Buddy was driving too fast.”  Everybody is a Buddy.  And so are we.  So we hear “Come on Buddy – we need to speed it up, I have to go to work.”  or “Awwwww come on Buddy – why did you do that?” And of course we are all also called the following at any given time:  “No-no”, “Stop-it” and “Knock-it-off.”

People ask my human where she got our names.  For Frodo, well, our treasurer had been calling him Frodo – and my human thought it was cute so she kept the name.  If you haven’t heard my use of the  word treasurer – it stems from the fact that I don’t like the  word “litter” for a family of puppies.  Puppies are not garbage – so I prefer a “treasury of puppies.”  So of course a breeder would be a treasurer!  But I digress.

As for my name – my human’s grandfather’s name was Victor.  With a “c'”.  So my human changed the spelling so as not to offend relatives…

And Elroy…it probably goes back to that old cartoon the Jetsons which really old people like my human would remember. Although the dog in the cartoon was actually called Astro, she liked Elroy, which was the son’s name.  She thought of it – and just thought Elroy looks like an Elroy.   I must agree…  But I do like Astro too -as he often seems to be in outer space and the name reminds me of asteroids…I think I may start calling him that…

I just need to be sure we have the right names on the Christmas stockings.   Mind you, each one COULD say Buddy…

Have a good one – all my buddies….

Elroy lost it




So Monday my human was off. Which meant extra long morning walks.  The FG went first.  He has the smallest bladder.  Mind you maybe not when you look at the size of him.  Anyway, he was wearing his trusty “Freedom” harness.  Which I have talked about before.  He walks quite nicely with that harness – it has been a miracle. However, sometimes miracles come to an end…

So when they headed out at the crack of dawn it was still not fully light out – the sun wasn’t all the way up.  AND, as often happens at this time of the year, the driveway had a THIN coat of misty ice on it.  Which obviously can be slippery.  Now my human is EXTRA cautious in such conditions – remember the broken wrist two years ago.  So she walked along slowly, and the FG was walking just great with his harness.  Once they got up to the road, the walking was actually easier – so off they went.  They took the trail through the woods and then decided to go for a walk on the golf course.  And that’s when all heck broke loose.  Suddenly, the FG decided that he wanted freedom from the Freedom harness.  So he started biting his leash.  And pulling on his leash.  My human instructed him to stop and gave him a treat.  After which he started again.  And again.  And AGAIN.  My human could NOT walk two feet without him yanking and biting on the leash.  She could instruct him to sit – which he would do, she would give him a treat and say “let’s go”, and the biting again began.  He was leaping and spinning – like some kind of strange circus routine.  Gone bad.  And THEN he decided he WANTED her mittens.  Honestly – it was like he was possessed. My human just stood there, exasperated and not sure how to move.  It was a LONG slow walk home.  Stop.  Sit. Treat.  Step. Walk. Sit.  Treat.   They finally got back to our driveway and my human breathed a sigh of relief.  But the best was yet to come.  You see, the FG gets to carry the newspaper to the house every day.  And keep in mind that he was STILL feeling possessed.  AND the driveway was still slippery.  So here he is – flipping the paper in the air,  sliding to get it, while my human is walking on the gravel along the side of the driveway.  He had never flipped that paper the way he did that day. Grab. Toss. Slide.  Grab.  Shake. Toss.  Slide.   With a woman who was moving like she had lead shoes.

By the time she got back to the house, she looked at Frodo and I and said “You HAVE to be good.”  And of course WE were.  Even posing to take photos.  



Who would ever have believed we would see the day when I’M the good dog?!  Maybe it’s a new miracle….

Have a good one!

The Dog Tree

Well – the dog tree is up.  Yes.  We have a dog tree.  Among other trees.  This one has all dog ornaments.  It has dog leashes from the dreaded Dollar Store for garland, and it is also bedecked in dog show ribbons.  My human has a big box of ribbons – but these are just a few – from Frodo, me and some of the dogs who came before us.  The FG doesn’t have any ribbons.  Yet.

The dog tree started as a little tree that my human would cut on our property.  A Charlie Brown type tree.  But as the collection grew, the Charlie Brown trees couldn’t hold the ornaments – so the artificial tree is now used.  We have ornaments for lots of different breeds – we don’t discriminate.  But we didn’t have a Picard before – so you KNOW my human had to get one this year.  

So we are all on the tree.  

The only thing that would complete the dog tree would be if one of us peed on it.  But something tells me that may not be a bright idea.  Besides, if we are going to pee on a tree, might as well wait until she gets the real one.  Probably next weekend.  So that means another weekend of being sequestered for periods of time while she lugs boxes into the DFZ.  I’m the lucky one who was able to get into the DFZ to take the photo.  And the first thing I did?  Tried to pull that terrier off the tree.  And trust me – if I get in the DFZ – he’s coming down.

Time to get back my Santa letter(s).  ‘Tis the season!  Stay tuned!