Hey blogaroos. It’s me. Wojtek. The Shaggy Shark. Also known as Squirmy Wormy. And a host of other names I can’t publish here.

So. It’s been some time since our last post. The post when we had to sadly announce the departure of the Coyote to some magical place called the Rainbow Bridge.

While my favorite pastime was to irritate him, I must confess…I miss him terribly. He was such a good guy to put up with my shenanigans. And he never once told me off. OK. Maybe ONCE. But I didn’t believe him.

Things have been weird since he left. I find myself as the sole guard dog and protector against birds, butterflies and delivery guys. It’s a LOT of work. But not to worry – I have a loud voice.

When the Coyote was here, I had no interest in sleeping on the bed with the Warden. Or should I say, sleeping on the bed with the Coyote. Who allowed the Warden a small sliver of mattress. But since he left, I have learned to appreciate the comforts of a nice soft bed. The Warden is not always pleased with my presence- as I often begin my bedtime routine with an attempt to “arrange” her comforter. I feel it should be mashed into a large ball – but for some reason she disapproves. I’ll jump on board, and attempt to gather the comforter into a “nest” while she runs around the bed trying to make me stop. And I don’t. Despite her yelling “STOP!!!!” Sometimes this activity can go on for several minutes. With me bouncing around scraping up comforter while she shouts and attempts to grab corners of fabric. Good times.

I’ve been allowed into the DFZ lately – because there’s no other canine to wrestle with amongst the glass cupboards. I quite like it in there.

The Warden and I can both be pretty boring when the sun goes down- which is at 5 PM now. I swear we were both ready for bed at 7 PM the other night. This whole clock change thing is a bit crazy in my opinion. But then nobody asked me. An hour longer to wait for breakfast? I would NEVER have voted for that.

So life has been pretty quiet. Except for one day….

The Warden had to go out to get some groceries. And unfortunately, dogs aren’t allowed to go in grocery stores. Or that’s what she tells me anyway.

So the Warden is shopping, and she gets this notification on her phone that someone is at the front door. We have one of those doorbell cameras that show what’s going on outside. They’re great. Except when a spider walks across the screen or a leaf blows by. So there are occasional false positive doorbell alerts.

On this day, instead of ignoring what she thinks is an error, she takes a look at her phone. And THIS is what she sees….

Yup. Yours truly. Running past the front door.

IMAGINE her shock. I’m free. And clearly headed for… who knows where?

The Warden quickly leaves the store, and races home- breaking several speed limits. In her mind, she has this horrible image of a ball of fluff at the side of the road somewhere. As she drives down our road, she slows to a crawl – watching for me. She creeps down our long driveway, afraid I might jump in front of the car. But no sign of yours truly. Instead of pulling into the garage, she parks in front of the house and jumps out. She slams the car door – and hears a familiar sound. It’s moi. Barking as I always do. From inside the house. She opens the door. And there I am. Jumping and ready to maul her as I do every time she comes home. Actually- every time she comes into the room. Even after she’s been in the bathroom.

But I’m getting off track. She looks at me all happy and fine and thinks she must have hallucinated what she had seen. So she pulls out her phone and looks at the video footage. And yup. It’s definitely me.

Now here’s the missing piece of the story….while the Coyote was still here, he had gastric issues, and needed access to outside if the Warden wasn’t home. So – we have this screen door that allows us to go in and out. We can go out into our fenced backyard.

Now that screened access was open ALL spring, summer and fall. And neither of us EVER attempted to leave our fenced yard.

However….with the Coyote gone, I got bored. We have 2 different gates that access our fenced yard, and after careful inspection, I realized I could push up the TWO hooks holding one of the gates, and I could go on a little walk about. I still argue I was on property patrol. And frankly, I could have kept my adventure secret, were it not for that doorbell camera. Because after my patrol, I came right back in.

The Warden discovered my escape route when she went to see how it was I appeared on the camera. One gate was securely latched. The other – well I guess I gave it away when I demonstrated how to push it open as she approached from the other side of the fence. Busted. The fence latch has now been secured and no more walk abouts for me. Ho hum.

Otherwise life is pretty quiet. I’ve been training for Open obedience, but when the Warden put our entry in for a trial in December, she found the trial was full. We were put on a waitlist. I think she was secretly relieved – as she’s again going through TP. Nope not toilet paper. Trial paranoia. She thought we were ready. Then she thought we weren’t. So not getting in was OK. But then yesterday- we got in. So now she’s in full-on TP. Heaven help us both.

We have been having some serious discussions lately about adding another canine to the asylum. And we both agree it is a good idea. I need a “sibling”. We have a plan – but it won’t be until next year. Just keep your fingers, toes and paws crossed that our plan goes according to plan!!! We need chaos back in our home. It’s hard trying to maintain that level of insanity all by myself.

Time to take the Warden out. Have a good one. Peace and paws up. Stay safe.