Howdy blogaroos! Remember me? Squirmy here- with my sidekick the Coyote.

We’ve been pretty quiet lately, and we hear some people were starting to wonder what’s been going on. Well, if you look at the calendar, you’ll realize we are currently in the “threatening” stage of the year. The time when humans threaten “if you don’t behave, Santa won’t bring you anything.” I think it’s pretty coercive- but I’m not taking any chances, so I’ve been fairly well-behaved. Fairly being the key word. So when we’re well-behaved, there’s not much to write about!

Mind you…there WAS that little incident with an “escape” a few weeks ago. My hope is that Santa is way too busy to remember that small infraction.

It was a day when we were visibly bored, despite several long walks, some find it games and some exhausting chewing on a bully stick. The Warden had to drive to the pharmacy to pick up one of the Coyote’s medications. So she asked us if we wanted to go for a “car ride.” We flew to the garage door and jumped in the back of Ludwig. We weren’t in crates because this was a short drive.

Mind you – we knew nothing about the short trip. We envisioned some visit to a pet store or a park or hiking trail. But no. We went to the lousy pharmacy and stayed in the vehicle while the Warden did the pick up. And then we went home. It was a rip off ride.

Anyway, when we got home, instead of pulling into the garage, the Warden parked outside- because she planned to walk us to the lake. The Coyote was wearing a leash – because of his flight-risk status, but yours truly was restriction naked.

Now when either of us is in the back of the vehicle on our own, we never get out until told to do so. But there’s this uncontrollable mob mentality when there’s two of us, and instead of waiting when the hatch went up, we both jumped out in tandem. Remember the Coyote is on leash. BUT he realizes he is free, and before the Warden can grab him, he takes off up the driveway. Being the helpful brother, I chased after him in an effort to herd him back home. At least that’s my version of the story. The Warden took off after us. She was relieved to see the Coyote stop to poo. She was within about two feet of him, reached to grab the leash, and he bolted- heading for the road. It might have been mid-poo, but who knows. He takes off with yours truly in tow. The Warden ran back home to get the vehicle, jumped in and drove up the driveway. She could hear barking on the road.

As she was driving, she suddenly saw yours truly heading down the driveway, on my way home. She jumped out of the vehicle, tossed me in the back like a load of laundry and headed to the road. And it was there she saw the gathering….

One neighbor had been driving on the road, and narrowly missed making yours truly into a pancake. His wife jumped out of the vehicle, and went to get the Coyote because another car had stopped and was going to pick him up. And let’s face it, Mr Sociable will go with anyone. Across the road, another neighbor and her twin boys and their sister watched in dismay. One of the twins raced into his house to see if he could find a leash to lasso me. While Mr Sociable was loving the attention, that’s when yours truly aka Mr Aloof, decided to head home. It was too much drama for me.

The Warden thanked the neighbors profusely for grabbing the Coyote. And there he was, standing and wagging his tail, enjoying all the attention. We have great neighbors- they all figured something happened to the Warden (like maybe she fell and couldn’t get up!) so they were about to head to the house when she appeared. After more thank-yous and apologies, we headed home. And into the garage before the hatch was opened.

And speaking of falling- that DID happen too. But not to worry – yours truly came to the rescue this time.

We were on our early morning walk on the trail, and we were walking ahead of the Warden on leash zigzagging back and forth sniffing for other dog pee-mail, wildlife, and the odd pile of wildlife poo.

As we were busy in olfactory overload, the Warden thought there was someone walking behind us. So she turned to look. There wasn’t anyone but as she turned her head forward, she didn’t pay attention to a large rock on the trail, and boom – the next thing you know, she’s on the ground. She hit her knee, and rolled onto her butt to assess the damages. Insert dramatic music. I saw this as the perfect opportunity to be a hero. Ever see the video of the dog who jumps on his human’s chest like he’s doing CPR? Well, I tried that move- but the Warden wasn’t having a heart attack. And I didn’t exactly jump on her chest. She had to cover her head to fend off my wild jumping and she tried futilely to push me away. Here I was vying for one of those “dog hero of the year” awards and she’s thrashing at me trying to protect herself from my medical intervention. All the time she didn’t dare let go of the Coyote because he’d be gone. Good times. Despite a ripped pair of pants, and a pretty scraped up knee, the Warden got up and hobbled home. I think she was able to move due to my quick medical intervention. The Coyote said she got up because she didn’t want to be pummeled any more.

Since Christmas is right around the corner, our house has been invaded by a small army of Santas, elves, angels, snowmen, some Kings, shepherds, sheep, a camel or two, and Mary and Joseph. Baby Jesus isn’t in the manger yet- but I suspect he’s hiding under some hay until the big Birthday Bash. We are not allowed to play with any of the aforementioned characters. I told ya things have been boring here.

What else is new? The Coyote is STILL inconsistent in his eating. He’ll decide he likes something, and eats it for a few days and the Warden gets all excited, and she goes out and buys a whole bunch of whatever it is that he is eating. Then (because I swear he sees her bringing the bounty home) he decides the ___________(insert steak, freeze dried raw food, chicken, pork, potatoes, delux kibble) is no longer interesting and he refuses to touch the stuff. They have QUITE the battles. Otherwise, he’s happy, energetic, likes to pester me, sounds like a ferocious watchdog when the daily Amazon truck arrives, and loves to go for walks. The Warden hasn’t weighed him – but she thinks he’s about the same weight. That’s because when his appetite changes, she still gets food into him. She says her main wish for Christmas, besides world peace, is for a month with no force feeding. Maybe if you all send good vibes, it will come true!

I’m not sure what I’m putting on my list for Santa. The Warden is making some suggestions, and I’m thinking there’s a strong correlation between what she suggests and what Santa brings, so I might as well follow her suggestions. As long as it’s not clothes. Or educational toys.

We had our first real snowfall of the season today. So the Warden figured she could get our “Christmas photo.” And I thought it was a great idea too because I could smell the yummy treats in her pocket. And that was all grand. Until the snowballs started forming. Like a weird plague in a sci-fi movie, I was suddenly covered in these baseball size balls that made movement rather difficult. Like a cowboy who had been riding his horse for 36 hours, I ambled into the house. The Warden could barely lift me into the dog tub to rinse off the orbs. Some people say using a whisk works. The Warden didn’t feel like rifling through the kitchen drawer that contains the little-used utensils to find a whisk. So she sprayed warm water on my legs and nether regions to melt away the obstructions.

You’ll note the brushes on the bench behind me in the photo. Because we had to look presentable before we went out. Clearly that was a waste of time. Mind you, the Coyote didn’t look TOO bad at the end of the shoot. It pays to be tall and lanky.

So that’s our news for now. We’re looking forward to company over the holidays – Aunt Sue and Keith are coming for a visit. Maybe the Warden will have some reason to use a whisk – other than snow removal!

Have a good one. Peace and paws up! Stay safe.