Howdy blogaroos. Greetings from the asylum. Squirmy here. Yes – we are still here- tolerating the heat while being deafened by fan noise. It’s all good.

In a few weeks, it will be a year since the Coyote was given the death sentence. We hope we don’t jinx things by writing about it – but really, 11 months is a huge deal. Every day is a bonus – so why not celebrate now?! Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring so party hardy today!!! Biscuits all around!!!

Yup – tubby continues to maintain his weight even with his fluctuating appetite. Sometimes he needs to be force fed – but afterward will come into the kitchen looking for more food. Go figure. Potatoes, which were the magic food for a few weeks have fallen out of favor. His taste buds then favored steak. And some days it’s awesome- others not so much. The Warden has tried everything short of standing on her head to feed him – different bowls, different food, different feeding times, different feeding locations – you name it- it’s probably been tried. In fact I think she DID try standing on her head. Once.

Otherwise, he’s doing great. The above photo was taken this morning after our 6AM hike and subsequent wrestle mania match. We have to hike early, before it gets too hot. AND before the kamikaze deer flies start dive bombing us. Part of our walk is on a wooded trail and the Warden calls it “running the gauntlet.” Can we get through the trail before the flesh biting monsters attack. They go for the Warden’s head – and my head too. They don’t seem to bother the Coyote quite as much – we think it has to do with hair color. The Warden and I have darker hair. Mine being natural. But I didn’t say that.

And speaking of the gauntlet – lest anyone thing the Coyote lacks energy with his kidney issues- I’m here to tell you he is FAR from lethargic. And lest anyone THINK he’s become well behaved in his “veteran” years – wrongo again.

So about two weeks ago we were up bright and early – but we canines were more “bright” than the Warden. We set out on our walk – and get this – she forgot poop bags. Seriously. I think she was sleep walking. We weren’t far up the driveway when she realized- so she tied the Coyote to a tree and told me to wait. That return to home put us slightly behind our schedule – so when we arrived at the parking lot at the head of the trail, there was a car there. There’s usually NO one around in the morning – BUT it was Saturday and we were a bit late. There was a man beside his car and he walked to the back and opened the hatch. And the Warden spotted the terrifying contents in his vehicle. A dog crate. With a dog.

She commented as we passed the vehicle that we would start out ahead of him on the trail- and we are always on leash. He said they would be running- so they would probably catch up to us. So the Warden suggested they go ahead of us, and the man said “sure.” And then the man did something that I doubt he realized would be the catalyst for at least 30 minutes of drama. While we were patiently waiting probably 20 feet from his vehicle, he threw open the crate door and his dog flew out and raced toward the trail. She didn’t even look at us – but the sudden action of her racing out caused a spontaneous explosion in both our brains. How do you spell prey drive? The man shut the hatch and ran after the dog – leaving a woman with two Tasmanian Devils howling and tugging at the end of their leashes. The Warden waited and all was OK. But once she started moving, something about physics and momentum made the ability to hang on more difficult. I pulled to the large rock at the head of the trail and slowed down but the Coyote had all engines on high speed. He pulled and the Warden, in a split second, realized she would be facing a possible concussion with the large rock – or she could let go. She let go. And he was off.

The trail starts and makes a sharp left turn. The Warden and I ran to see where the Coyote was. We turned the corner- and there he was about 20 feet away. No sign of the dog and runner, because the trail is twisty and you can’t see far ahead. The Warden saw the Coyote and did the “Hey buddy- there you are. Come here- we’re going THIS way” – in the fake sweet voice that humans do to entice us to something “fun”. Like a bath. He wasn’t falling for it . He looked at her – and gave her the paw – and took off. So we continued to “run”. Really, I was running and she was trying to catch up. It wasn’t pretty. She’s futilely calling his name – AS IF he would come back. Suddenly she hears the sound of two dogs having an…altercation. She can’t see them but she’s shouting to them. The noise stops and we keep running. Still no visual on the Coyote or the runner or dog.

After about 1/2 km of walk/ running we get to the place where the trail passes the golf course. No signs of anything. She’s still shouting for the Coyote. Suddenly, we hear the sound ahead of another dog altercation. She figures he has again met with the dog and runner but she still can’t see them. Now instead of shouting his name, she starts shouting “Tie him to a tree. Tie him to a tree!!!!!!” The Coyote was dragging a long leash – and she figured if the runner would just STOP and tie him, we could catch up.

We came around a bend and saw the man, holding onto his dog’s collar. The Warden apologized, explained that he got away (clearly) and she’s no runner (clearly again). There was no sign of Usain Picard, but then she spotted him ahead. He realized he was busted and walked back to her. She said he hoped he didn’t do anything to his dog. Not that he would – he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. BUT, his pushy, friendly behavior isn’t appreciated by all dogs. The runner said “no- but she probably gave him a few good nips.” The Warden grabbed his leash and grumbled “well, he deserved it.” The man said “enjoy your walk.” Right.

The Coyote was panting – but FINE – no signs of injuries. We backtracked and started on our walk on the golf course – which was our initial destination- and then realized in the frenzy that the Warden had lost all the poop bags out of her pocket. So we had to retrace our way back down the trail. We found the bunch of bags near the parking lot. And there we also found ANOTHER vehicle- which the Warden recognized as belonging to another dog and owner…

The Warden said “let’s go HOME” so we started our way back down our road. And who do we see but the OTHER dog. Now Frodo once had a run in with that dog when Frodo was on leash – and the dog was off. So the Warden knew to steer clear. She placed the Coyote’s collar and leash in a death grip and repeatedly said to me “leave it.” After some grumbling and tugging we passed the dog and were able to cross over to the correct side of the road. We walk no more than 50 feet when a woman jogging with a husky approaches on the other side of the road. The Warden said aloud “for the love of God…” That woman knew enough to keep her dog on a tight lead so it wouldn’t go ballistic like it usually does. We passed by without incident- probably because the Coyote was experiencing anoxia, and I was just tired from all the excitement.

By the time we got home, the Warden was exhausted. I don’t think she’s ever “run” that far. Within 10 minutes the Coyote and I were ready for another walk. She locked herself in the bathroom.

Other than that, things are pretty quiet. BUT….drumroll….Aunt Sue is arriving on Wednesday!!!!!! We know she is going to LOVE going on our 6 AM hikes, dodging the deer flies! On second thought – don’t warn her. She may change her mind.

The Warden says she has a surprise for me at the end of the month. A surprise…. What could that be? I hope it’s edible. And no – before you start thinking PUPPY- she said it’s definitely not that. Maybe a kitten! Could you imagine that? No. I doubt it’s a kitten. We’ll see….I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, send good vibes that the Coyote’s appetite improves. Then again, if it gives him MORE energy, maybe things should stay just as they are….

Have a good one! Peace and paws up! Stay safe. JBJ.