It’s October 11 and today, according to the crazy calendar, it is Myths and Legends Day.  Now there are a LOT of ways to look at this day, so let’s start with just a FEW common dog myths:

•   A dog who is wagging his tail is happy.  NOT always.   You need to look at the WHOLE dog.  Not just his tail.  For example, if we are wagging slowly, or if we are wagging but the rest of our body appears tense or stiff, we may be feeling uncomfortable.  Wagging with our tail down may indicate submission.  Or anxiety.  Which can be seen after humans utter those ridiculous words: “What did you do?”

•   All big dogs or banned breeds have a greater likelihood of being aggressive. Wrongo.  It’s generally not the BREED that is aggressive, but the HUMAN who raised that breed.   And while it’s true that little dogs don’t inflict the level of damage that a large dog can, ANY dog CAN be aggressive under the right circumstances.  Again – this usually goes back to the human who they own. We dogs in this house are NOT aggressive.  Crazy – maybe.  But never aggressive.

•   Dogs are colorblind.  True, we dogs don’t have vision that includes seeing the same range of colors that humans have – BUT we don’t see in black and white either.  We see in shades of green, blues, yellows and grays.  So don’t try outfitting me with that ugly blue plaid raincoat.  I KNOW it’s not attractive.  I can SEE it.

•  You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.  While we canines like to use this as an excuse – the reality is that IF the treats are good enough – we CAN learn new things.  Admittedly, some old dogs may not be able to see or hear as well – so it could be harder or slower to learn – but never say never!  There’s still hope for us yet! 

Now in the category of mythological dogs and legends, I found a mythological canine for almost every letter of the alphabet.   And so many countries/cultures have stories about mythological dogs and lots of them are downright spooky.  Half-man- half-dog beasts,  ghost dogs, devil dogs, blood sucking dogs, two headed dogs – it was hard to find a happy dog from mythology!  One I found was Gytrash a legendary black dog from Northern England.  It seems lots of countries have “black dog” myths and legends.  Apparently Gytrash will meet strangers on lonely dark roads – and in some cases will be helpful and will lead them to the right road.  On the OTHER hand, Gytrash may be not so nice, and lead them astray.  Typical dog to me – sometimes we are good, and sometimes not so much!

If you look on Wikipedia for Mythological Dogs, you will find all kinds of dogs in mythology.  And this article is a summary of some of the stories.

https://www.thoughtco.com/dog-folklore-and-legends-2562493

We have our own myths in our house.  For example, it is a myth that we always countersurf when my human is not in the room.  Trust me – we don’t bother if we don’t smell food. 

But the BIGGEST myth in my mind is that humans train DOGS.  It is very much the OTHER way around.  From the time of our adorable little puppy looks and our sweet smelling puppy breath, we begin our work – and we ALLOW you to think that YOU are training US.  But WE train YOU. And OUR training goes on for our entire lifetime!   And then the story of our life, after we are gone,  becomes legend.  Every single one of us…

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!

Well.  We knew it was only a matter of a few days.  Einstein figured out how to get into the DFZ.  The pony-sized crate and assortment of gates propped against it couldn’t keep him out.  He even managed to get IN while the FG was IN the crate.  And he left evidence.

My human and her mother and sister went out for dinner yesterday.  It is Thanksgiving weekend here – and while they all like to eat and cook turkey, they decided this year to do something different.  They went OUT for a turkey dinner at a lovely restaurant on the Bay.

And when they came back for a visit at our place, they came into the DFZ.  And there – on a wingback chair was the evidence.  Someone killed the cat.  OK, it was a stuffed cat.  Actually a cat pillow for Halloween.  And the cat’s innards were visible for all to see.

My human immediately picked up the maimed feline and walked toward Einstein.  He was the OBVIOUS culprit.  I mean the FG was IN a crate, and I am not THAT crazy about getting into the DFZ.  As soon as my human said the infamous words “what did you do”, Einstein turned his back and walked away.  It’s such a ridiculous comment – I mean it was pretty OBVIOUS what he did.  Did she expect him to say “oh yeah, a burglar was here while you were gone and he decided to rip up the cat pillow?”

So now you KNOW she will be placing something ELSE in the way to stop his entry.  Good luck with that.  Remember – he can jump ON the crate…

And of course,  she’ll also be studying the FG’s poop for evidence the next couple of days.  You can eat something bad, but you cannot hide.  The poop police will be working overtime.  Oh joy.  Oh happiness.

She should just be thankful it wasn’t the cushion on the wingback chair.  Yes, always look at the bright side – and be THANKFUL for what you have.

Have a good one. Peace and paws up!

Yesterday morning, as my human was walking the FG, she started thinking about what goes through his mind.  And you know, I think I may have even written something about this last year – when he was a little puppy.  But if the thought bubble over his brain was visible, it would probably not be all that different one year later.  Here is a look in the FG’s brain while on a walk…

“A walk.  A walk.  I’m going on a walk!!!!!  Hey, what’s that? It’s a leaf.  A leaf! And another leaf. And oh I must pee on this branch. Look there’s another leaf. And this smells great.  I must pee on it. And what was that sound? Did you hear it? I must PULL to see what is up ahead.  Why is she stopping? Oh, it’s the old “we don’t move until the leash is lose”.  But I can stand and just smell the air. And look around. That’s OK. What is that over there?  A leaf.  Oh and a branch. Must pee on the branch.  Great she is moving again.  This grass tastes good. Look. A Leaf. A wad of cut grass.  Mmmmmmm.  Look. Another leaf.  A red one.  And wait.  Another branch to pee on.  Look. A leaf.  Did you hear that? Look.  Birds. How many?  One…two…and look.  A leaf.  A yellow one.  And this smells REALLY good.  I wish I could roll on it.  I think I’ll bite the leash.  LET ME GO.  Wait.  A leaf.   Let ME hold the leash.  Wait. Another bird.  He is flying…wait. A leaf. Whoa that was a strong gust of wind.  There are great SMELLS in that wind.Yum.  Mouthful of grass.  Wait. I have to pee.   COME ON HUMAN.  MOVE FASTER.”

And that was 30 seconds in the brain of Elroy.   I think he needs some of my cannabis oil.  Now THAT would be interesting….

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.

So Halloween isn’t until the end of the month, however, my human has begun her very own “tricking treaters” routine.  Not trick or treat.  TRICKING treaters.  Or maybe it should be tricking treatees.  But we have figured out her ploy.

Your see, she went to paradise last night.  That’s my name for the gourmet pet store where she gets our food.  Which costs more than hers.  And while she was at paradise, she bought some biscuit treats.  And here is where part of the tricking begins.  She bought treats made for SMALL dogs.   Seriously.  So she gets more treats in a bag.  HOWEVER – we cannot be tricked.  We KNOW we are NOT small, so we just swallow the morsel and sit there waiting for more.  And get this – she gives it to us.  So at the end of the day, we each get 16 treats, which is equivalent to one average sized dog treat.  Hello?  She goes through the bag just as quickly as if she would have bought us the size made for us.  I guess she figures she can trick us because it seems like “more” to us.  Trust me – we are smarter than that.

On top of that – she is rationing the special treats she got from our friends in the US who came on Viktor’s Adventure tours.  Minus Viktor.  She is rationing them and she said we can only have THOSE treats if we are really good.  If that’s the case, they will have turned to dust before I ever get one.

On a final note, today is You Matter to Me Day.  With all the troubles that we have seen in the world recently, between political conflicts, senseless acts of violence and terrible weather occurrences, it goes to show us that one never knows from day to day what tragedy can occur.  So it’s important to take the time, even a minute, to tell someone today that they matter to you.  They’ll appreciate it – and so will you.   Oh and to all who read this crazy blog regularly, let me say “You matter to ME!”

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!

OK.  So I found a dog show for us to enter.  The only problem – it’s on the other side of the country.  I read that on October 29, the Lazy Laker Dog Show will be taking place in Williams Lake, British Columbia.  And this is no ordinary dog show.  The categories for prizes include:
1 Best dressed
2 Fluffiest
3 Tallest dog
4 Shortest dog
5 Best trick
6 Grumpiest or Scariest natural look

My bet is that the dog who wins for Best Dressed will also win for Grumpiest.  In my mind – they go together.  Seriously. And that’s the category I think we should enter.  I think that’s our best bet to win.  I mean, although the FG is tall, I doubt he would be the tallest.  And none of us is particularly short.  We don’t have any amazing tricks, unless you count jumping onto 3 foot tall crates or countersurfing.  We MIGHT be eligible for fluffiest.  But that would require grooming.  So that’s out.  But we could qualify for grumpiest – WITH the best dressed.  Allow me to share a year’s worth of grumpy dog holiday shots – even a few with old Paxton.  And it’s no coincidence that MOST of them happen to be of me.  I am not a fan of dressing up… The only one smiling in any of these is Pax – in the St. Paddy’s Day shot.  I actually think he liked his hat….  Enjoy!

If we are going to consider this, we had better get in the car and start driving.  It will take a LONG time for us to get there.  With 4,692 stops to pee.  Maybe we could just send the photos.

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!

So I was QUITE annoyed yesterday.  You see, through my blog, my human has had the opportunity to make new friends – all over the world.   And of course, if she has the chance to actually meet her new friends- she is very happy.  So yesterday, when a cruise ship arrived in port with two new friends from the US, she couldn’t pass up the chance to meet them and she offered to take them on Viktor’s Adventure tours.  Minus Viktor.  Seriously.  She got to spend the day with these great folks touring around, taking photos, eating out…while we canines were home.  My human said “it was a time issue – they had a tight schedule.”   Pretty lame excuse if you ask me.  I think my human wasn’t quite sure that they would be prepared for Einstein’s incessant greeting barking – and me ricocheting off their legs.   She would have had to have them sign a waiver for any injuries or hearing loss inflicted by us canines.  Not to mention that meeting the FG is like meeting a freight train.  An out of control freight train.  So they had a wonderful day.  Without us.  BUT – these folks are SUPER nice – they brought us presents – so that made us feel better.  Actually it made us feel REALLY good- because they were EDIBLE presents.  We suggest they come back again – when they have more time – and my human promises that we will get to meet.  As long as they sign the waiver.

While my human and friends were out and about, all day Einstein kept looking at the crate blocking the entrance to the DFZ. And praying to Saint Francis.  But when my human came home, there was no evidence he had been in the DFZ.  She actually arrived home with her mother who came for a little visit. So while we dogs were eating, my human and her mother went in the DFZ.  They were sitting and chatting about the lovely day that my human had, and Einstein started squeaking.  He wanted IN to the DFZ.  He would go in the crate – as if there was some secret door that would let him in the DFZ.  And I thought he was smart.  He would come out and try to move the assorted furniture my human had also used to block the entrance.  No luck.  So while my human and her mother were chatting, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.  There was Einstein – standing ON TOP of the FG’s pony sized crate.  He JUMPED up there.  This thing is 36″ tall. And the top is about 24 X 38″.  And here he was ON TOP.  My human envisioned him catapulting into the DFZ and smashing into the glass cabinet. So she cautiously approached him- hoping to avert disaster.  He saw her coming and decided to head the other direction – so he jumped back into the dining room.    And luckily didn’t hurt himself or anyone else!  Her mother just shook her head.  My human had better figure out what contraption she is going to use to keep him out.  The battle of the Poles.  This will be interesting.
 
Have a good one!  Peace and paws up.  

October 4.  It’s World Animal Day.  Which is appropriate because it is also the Feast Day of Saint Francis of Assisi who is the Patron Saint of animals.   Saint Francis died in 1226.  During his life, he was known for his acts of kindness toward the poor, the sick and animals.  He reportedly saw animals as “brethren” because we are all Gods creatures.  It is said that flocks of birds would gather and listen to him speak.  He was also said to make friends with a dangerous wolf that had been terrorizing a town.  Legend has it that after Francis had a chat with the wolf, the wolf never attacked the people of the town again.  He sounds like a pretty cool guy.

In many places, churches will participate in the “blessing of the animals” for St. Francis’ feast day.  My human was disappointed that our church didn’t do it.  Mind you – can you see the CIRCUS that would have unfolded if the three of us showed up?  And they started dousing Einstein with water?  He would NOT be happy – but the FG would have been thrilled.  It could have been entertaining.  Maybe she can convince them to do it next year.

Well the pillars came down last night.  We had these huge oak pillars at the entrance to the DFZ.  And since something will be soon happening with that entrance, the pillars had to come down.  I think I wrote before that my human was going to install glass doors there.  Well, she reconsidered when she looked at the glass deck doors and the French door in the hall.  They should be clear – but are frosted.  With olfactory art.  So she decided that MORE glass doors might not be such a good idea after all. So she apparently has something else in the works.  In the meantime, the pillars needed to come down.  So one of our neighbors kindly helped with the removal.  Which was all well and good.  Until my human realized she had nothing now that she could use with the bungee cords to hold up the gate.  So she moved the FG’s pony sized crate to the entrance and then barricaded the rest of the opening with an assortment of gates and furniture.  Einstein watched the proceedings with great interest.  You KNOW he will find a way in.  I give him 24 hours.  He’ll be praying to St. Francis to help him.

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.

Honestly.  Sometimes I think that our lives could be made into a movie.  Not that we do AMAZING things.   But it’s the mundane, everyday occurrences that in a movie scene could actually be quite funny… Like yesterday.

We know that Einstein and I go for our morning walk first.  It was a BRILLIANT morning.   At 5:30 AM.  In the dark.  BUT – the stars were glowing in the sky like a million diamonds and the moon was shining brightly. There was no wind.  And except for the hooting of an owl – it was calm and peaceful.  We walked down the road, sniffing and listening.  Einstein was listening for any neighbor who might be leaving.  On the off chance that he could see them and break the silence of the morn.  Luckily he didn’t see anyone. We walked to the parking lot at the head of the trail – and both of us “did our thing.”  My human picked up and disposed our deposits in the trash barrel.  

And we headed back down the road for home.  It was too dark to walk the trail.  And besides, the batteries in my human’s trusty headlamp  were working at about 10% efficiency.  Really, she shouldn’t even have bothered to put the thing on.  It wasn’t illuminating much beyond 6 inches of her head.

As we headed for home, Einstein decided to play a joke on my human.  But she didn’t KNOW it was a joke.  You see, Einstein likes to poop multiple times on one walk.   He likes to be sure that the people who make dog poop bags are never out of work.  So I’m walking ahead and Einstein is walking behind me and as is his habit, he stops in the middle of the road to poop.   And he “assumes the position.”  But while he is “pooping”, my human is watching me for some reason.  I mean she knows he is doing his thing, but she was watching me.  So he “finishes” while she takes off her gloves and digs out another poop bag from her pocket. Yup – we have started that time of year for juggling leashes, gloves and poop bags.  It should be an Olympic sport.  So she digs out the bag and walks back a few feet to pick up.  And remember – the headlamp is NOT bright.   But she can’t find the poop.  Really.  In the middle of the road. I mean she “saw” him go.  But did she?  He assumed the position, but DID he go?  So now she is bent over walking in circles on the road, trying to find the poop.  Picture it.  With two dogs staring at her.  And she is mumbling something like “it MUST be here.”  The search went on for what seemed like an hour in dog time, but was probably 3 minutes.  She finally gave up.  She got home, and before she took The FG out, changed the batteries in the headlamp.  Which NOW illuminated the yard like a lighthouse light.  And back they went to search for poop.  And guess what?  There WAS none.   Yup.  He faked it.  Good one Einstein.  Really good one.

I think the bent over poop search in the pitch black clutching poop bags, gloves and leashes with two dogs watching would make for a great scene in our movie.   Don’t you?

Never a dull moment. 

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.

How is it a 30 minute walk can take an hour. And a half?  Here’s a clue.  It’s the FG going on the walk.

I finally figured something out.  While I LOVE to get my human up at 5 or 5:30, if one does so on the weekend, one gets the same walk that one gets during the work week.  Down the road and back.  BUT if one waits until 6 AM, it is starting to get light outside – so on the weekend, one gets a LONGER walk.  Down the trail.  I can’t believe it has taken me so long to figure it out.  Anyway, on Sunday morning, instead of our normal 30 minute morning walk, we went for a good stroll for about 45-50 minutes.  It was brisk and misty but the sun was breaking through.  A PERFECT morning.  THEN it was the FG’s turn.  As my human headed down the road with him, he started to pull like crazy.  And my human stopped.  Let’s face it.  In the morning during the work week, she doesn’t have a TON of time to train – so he does get away with pulling murder.  But on Sunday, she decided enough was enough.  And it wasn’t HIS fault – he THOUGHT that’s what he was supposed to do.  Like some kind of crazed sled dog.  Without the sled.  So every time he went to the end of the lead, and he pulled, she stopped.  Now she HAD done this some time ago, but somehow they slipped back into the old routine.  He is isn’t actually bad if he is wearing his harness – but put him on a regular collar like he was on Sunday, and that’s when all pulling heck breaks loose.  So my human stopped.  And he stood at the end of a taught lead.  She never said a WORD.  She just stood like a statue.  Eventually, he would either step backwards, or come back to her.  And they would proceed.  For 5 feet – when he would again begin to pull.  So she would stop.  This must have happened – 56 times.  Actually, she lost count.  She thought if anyone was watching, they would think she had lost it.  I hate to tell her – the neighbors already think she has lost it – owning the three of us. 

As they approached Jackson AKA Pig Pen’s house, the pulling went into overdrive.  So this time, my human turned around and headed back for home.  The FG’s head EXPLODED.  WHAT was she doing?  He raced to her side and was leaping around her.  She turned around and headed the original route.  And he walked with her – right at her side for like 15 feet and then started pulling.  She turned around and headed back home.  He went leaping crazy.  So now they had this spinning routine going on.  ANYWAY.  He FINALLY caught on to what she wanted, by the time he got to the entrance for the trail.  And along here, he walked fairly well, as he was so busy sniffing, he didn’t pull.

Just as their walk was heading in a circle back for home, they ran into Pig Pen – who apparently lived up to his name the other day.  Pig Pen went for a walk with Hudson and Hudson’s human.  Who didn’t KNOW about Pig Pen’s love for swamp water.  She was apparently shocked to see him dive into the murkiest water you can IMAGINE.  She ended up taking him to the lake to wash him off.

Anyway when the FG saw Pig Pen he went CRAZY.  There wasn’t time for them to go for a run – so all my human’s hard earned work on the road earlier pretty much went out the window.  How do you spell out-of-control?  Luckily Pig Pen’s humans are prepared for him and know how to dodge a jumping Picard.

By the time my human got home, she was ready to go back to bed.  NOT a chance.  We let her sleep in – she didn’t NEED more rest.  We really need to build up her stamina….She just needs more training.

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!