Well three guesses where my human went the other day.   Here’s a clue.  Halloween is coming.  If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time, you know that holidays mean one thing.  The opportunity for my human to get back at us for any bad behavior we may have exhibited since the last holiday.  So it means a trip to the dreaded Dollar Store where she spends her hard earned money on purchasing some ridiculous attire for us canines to wear for the upcoming holiday. Yup – she was there the other day and she came home with the telltale large bag. So the puparazzi will begin…

In order to get THE perfect shot, she will no doubt have us posing over the next couple of weekends.  All we can do is pray for rain.  Or REALLY good treats.  And after 4,362 shots, she will get three that she is happy with.  And those three are pretty cute.  But really, the other shots are the fun shots.  The bloopers. Or in our house, the PON-Picloopers. 

So to get ready for what is to come- let’s share some Fall PON-Picloopers from last year.  Check out the FG – he was just a young fella last year.  And NOTE – HE is the one acting up in these photos.  We’ll see who is the culprit THIS year.  Enjoy!

I can hardly wait for the Fall fiasco to begin….

Have a good one. Peace and paws up!!

It’s nice to know that it’s NOT only the dogs in THIS household that get into trouble…

My human was talking with Aunt Glenda the other day, and she had a situation that made the FG’s visit to the neighbors seem like a VERY minor offense.  Aunt Glenda lives on a LARGE parcel of land in the country.  And her dogs – Bernese Mountain Dogs – are very well behaved.  They don’t jump on visitors, don’t tend to destroy things in the house, don’t bark out commands when they are hungry, don’t yank and pull on  a leash – they are generally very well behaved.  BUT – the other day, one of the dogs came in the house and REEKED of skunk.  If you don’t have skunks in your part of the world, thank your lucky stars.  They have this “scent” that they shoot out when they lift their tails.  It’s a defense mechanism.  Someone once said “No sewer ever smelled so bad.” Apparently, wolves and foxes don’t usually attack skunks – for fear of being sprayed.  But not us intelligent domesticated dogs.  My human knows of more than one dog who has met with a skunk.  And getting out the offensive odor is no easy chore.  Some people swear that tomato juice will take out the smell.  And if it doesn’t work,  you now have a stinky red dog.  Another removal recipe is: 1 quart hydrogen peroxide, ¼ cup baking soda, and 1 teaspoon dish-washing liquid. Aunt Glenda used a variation of the hydrogen peroxide recipe.  But even when you DO get out the smell, there is a lingering odor for weeks.

So bad enough that one dog met with the skunk, the next day, another dog came in with ode de rodent.  But even worse – this dog smelled like DEAD skunk.  Can there be anything worse in the WORLD?!  Aunt Glenda thinks dog #1 may have killed the skunk and dog #2 rolled in the remains.  Oooooooo-eeeeeeee.  That would be BAD.

We dogs love stinky things.  And rolling in them is right up there in heavenly experiences – next to an open, accessible treat jar.  Scientists theorize that our desire for outfitting ourselves in stench goes back to our earlier wild roots – and those of our ancestors – the wolf.  They THINK we wanted to disguise ourselves like our prey – so we rolled in the prey’s poop.  Nice.  And let’s face it, eating rotting smelly things is also a great past time.  The other day my human spotted Einstein and I intently smelling something near the garage door.  She came over to see what we were investigating.  A dead baby garter snake.  We thought it was cool – but her – not so much.

Anyway, if you’re having a not-great day, be thankful you don’t live with a dog who just rolled in dead skunk.  Yup.  Always look on the bright side of things!

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!

OK so we don’t have sheep.  But we DO have ducks. Well they aren’t REALLY OUR ducks.  But that’s OK – the FG is happy to herd them anyway.

Yesterday morning, I tried to get my human up at 4:30.  It was Saturday and I knew she wasn’t going to work – so I figured she should get up so she would have a FULL day with us dogs. So I started squeaking.  She opened one eye, groaned, got up, put on some slippers and a robe and grabbed a leash.  Whoo-hoo I figured, it worked.  Wrongo.  As soon as I had a pee, she marched me back into the house, kicked off her slippers, turned out the light and went back to sleep.  IMAGINE my disappointment.  I let her sleep another hour and this time I tried another tactic.  I jumped on the bed, sat over her and stared.  She kept mumbling “5 more minutes.”  Apparently I got off the bed and was back in 38 seconds.  Because I don’t have a watch. She finally gave up, got up, got dressed and went to take Einstein and I out first. It was still darkish out, but  the sun was starting to come up.  She took us up as far as the entrance to the public trail and then turned around to come back home.  She said it was too muddy.  We came home and then it was the FG’s turn.  By now the sun was up, so she figured she would take him over to the golf course.  She prepared herself for the adventure.  Leash.  And long line.  Two fetch toys.  Pockets stuffed with treats.  Poop bags.  Cell phone.  And off they went. The FG hasn’t been loose on the course for some time.  So as soon as my human put the long line on him, his head exploded.  He could not WAIT to get the fetch toy.  He raced.  He ran.  He occasionally brought it back.  He was having a FABULOUS time.  And then he spotted a pond.  And he RACED in.  And swam around – totally in heaven.  This is a pretty big pond.  In fact, my human didn’t notice that at the other END of the pond were a group of ducks…

The FG was racing in and out of the water.  And THEN he saw the ducks.  He leaped back into the water and started swimming toward them.  Most of the ducks saw him coming, and took off for the skies.  But a couple just kept on swimming – and giving the FG some VERY good exercise.  He finally gave up trying to herd them.  And decided it was time for fetch again.  His attention span is not really all that long.  But now he just wanted to have my human throw it – and he would take it into the brush along the sides of the fairway.  And he would roll on it.  My human figured the NEXT move would be to take off in the woods.  So he went back on leash.

He was pretty happy when he got home.  And while Einstein and I would enjoy a run on the course, we’re not big into the swimming part.  And we KNOW what happened to me and the duck.  Hopefully the FG’s little swim-a-thon wont set off a chain reaction with angry ducks again…

It’s Sunday – another day “off” for my human.  What can we do today….

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!

Someone once said that the definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” So it’s official.  My human is insane.

So we know how the three of us took off to the neighbors’ house on Wednesday night.  And the FG actually went TWICE.  But my human has a SHORT memory.  So on Thursday when she got home from work and we were all playing outside, guess who was AGAIN free and AGAIN decided to go up to see if there was any action at the neighbors’?  This time Einstein and I didn’t go – Einstein didn’t feel like it and I was trying to still make up for the peeing incident.  But the FG raced through the woods, was caught by the neighbor (because he is always dragging a long line – the FG – not the neighbor), and my human brought him home.

So by FRIDAY one would THINK she would have learned her lesson.  But you see – this gets back to the point that he was doing SO well last week with the fetch game.  Remember how they played over and over again?  And it wasn’t just ONE evening.  They did it several nights – and she THOUGHT he was really starting to enjoy it.  And she could trust him to be free.  So yesterday after we all went for our pees and poops after work, my human THOUGHT she could play with him for a bit with the fetch game.  And he DID go and get the fetch toy.  Three times.  And on time 4, he got it and quickly raced into the woods.  To go to the neighbors’.  My human tried to find him in the woods – but decided to go back out of the brush and up the driveway.  And who comes racing up from behind her and passes her going up the driveway and heads over to the neighbors’? My human was STEAMING.  The good news was he stopped to sniff something so she caught him.  And THAT was IT for the FG.  He was promptly marched home and told he would never, ever be let free.  Or at least until he is 10 years old.  Sure.

I’m telling ya – she’s insane.  She’ll forget by tomorrow and he’ll look all cute and attentive.  And she’ll THINK he will behave.  So she’ll let him free.  Mind you, there is also the adage – three strikes and you’re OUT.  We’ll see what happens…I just want to know what happened to the good fetching dog?  Where did HE go?

Have a good one. Peace and paws up!

So today is September 14 and it’s National Coloring Day.  In the last couple of years, it seems that coloring, which used to be an activity mostly for kids, has taken off with adults.  Humans need ways to “destress” (especially if they are owned by rambunctious canines).   So besides wine, one way to relax is by coloring.  My human likes to draw a bit – when we let her – but she hasn’t actually caught the coloring craze – although she knows several people who have.  So let’s look at some coloring options…

Well, you can BUY coloring books that have dogs as the subjects – and there appear to be many options.  Maybe something to think about if you are starting your holiday shopping for a dog lover:

https://diycandy.com/2016/01/10-dog-themed-coloring-books-for-adults

On this site, you can download some dog pages – for a fee – which apparently go toward feeding shelter dogs….

https://iheartdogs.com/product/de-stress-with-dogs-10-page-printable-coloring-book-for-adults-who-love-dogs-download-instantly-print/

Now if you don’t WANT to order or download dog images, you can simply color ON your computer! The only bad thing – no PONs or Picards on this site… You simply click on a breed and then click “Color online” and voila!

http://www.supercoloring.com/coloring-pages/mammals/dogs

Here is a bad coloring example – but it gives you an idea:

A couple of weeks ago, I shared some info about extreme dog grooming.  Talk about coloring dogs – check out this circus:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VwfaQ4mABQ

This is NOT my thing.  Sure they use safe dyes – food coloring – but come on.  This is just TOO bizarre.  Tell me those dogs don’t have image problems.  This is 1000 times worse than having to wear the dreaded holiday attire for 15 minutes.  At least that stuff comes off.

So for Coloring Day today – I suggest you go and color on your computer or with colored pencils on paper.  But PLEASE leave your dog alone.  Unless he’s a poodle.  JUST KIDDING.  No poodles either. 

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!

Today is September 13 and according to the crazy calendar, it’s National Defy Superstition Day.   I guess its a day to debunk superstitions – so humans should go out of their way to find a ladder to walk under.  I decided to look up some superstitions having to do with dogs, and I am pretty sure we can debunk most of them.

• Supposedly, a French superstition says that if you step in dog poop with your LEFT foot, you will have good luck.  In which case, my human MUST be THE luckiest person on the planet.  I’m not sure what happens if you step in it with your right foot.  She has stepped in it with both – so I guess your luck is neutralized.  Personally, I think that stepping in it with WHATEVER foot can HARDLY be considered lucky…

• Another dog superstition says that if a dog retreats in a corner, or under a table, bad weather is coming.  Hello?  We would be living FOREVER in stormy weather if that was true.  Einstein LOVES to contort himself under tables and in corners.  All.  The . Time.

• Reportedly in India, there is a superstition that say if you are bitten by a dog, you will become pregnant.  With puppies.  By now, my human would have enough dogs to have an official kennel.  Not that we bite her INTENTIONALLY.  Although her first dog, Barney did… But we sometimes give a nibble if we are playing hard – kind of like the FG and the funny bone the other day. Not sure what happens when a dog bites a man…

•  Here’s a good one:  Seeing an ambulance is very unlucky unless you pinch your nose or hold your breath until you see a black or a brown dog.  And if you don’t see a black or brown dog, you will NEED an ambulance.

 We are not generally very superstitious in this house.  Although we do believe that if our human has entered us in a dog show, we will be cursed with a bath.  That one always seems to come true.

Anyway, have a good one – and go take take a walk under a ladder.  But have some salt to throw over your shoulder – just in case.

Peace and paws up!

So there’s a phenomenon in our house.    And one must be very aware of this phenomenon.  It’s the phenomenon of silence.  And what’s the big deal with silence?  And why should one be aware?  Well because first off it rarely happens.  Our home is definitely NOT the site for a contemplative retreat.  Unless it is like 3AM and we are all asleep.  No – our house is not often quiet.  Einstein is either barking at the FG, or the FG is barking at Einstein or I am barking at the garage door – beckoning it to open so I can dash in to the food bin and eat until I explode.

So when there IS silence in our house, it can only spell one thing.  Someone is doing something bad.  Now SOMETIMES, Einstein will squeal on someone if they do something – like countersurf and get something he wished HE had found.  But other times, he just watches.  And is silent.  Like last night…

My human was in the bedroom, getting her clothes ready for work today and we were all hanging out in the dining area.  We had ALL just been out – and my human ASSUMED we would settle down and chew on our bones.  A reasonable assumption.  And we did.  Well.  Two of us did.

Anyway, she was busy getting her things organized and suddenly realized it was quiet.  She figured SOMETHING was up.  So she came into the room and sure enough – trouble.  You may recall that the FG loved the old dining room carpet – so much so that it ended up looking like it had been attacked by 2 foot long moths.  There were holes EVERYWERE.  So she dragged the monstrosity out to the curb one day and off it went in the trash.  She then purchased a rather economical indoor/outdoor carpet.  And she watched the FG like a HAWK when she put it down.  And that was – heck a couple of months ago now – wasn’t it?  A couple of times he ATTEMPTED to start “rounding off” the corners – but was caught and told “no.”  But overall he hasn’t touched it.  So you know what happened – my human let down her guard…

She came in the room to find giant threads of jute-like material being pulled from the back of the carpet.  “AGGGHHHHHHHH” she shouted.  The good news was he had the decency to start at the back or underside of the carpet – so when my human flipped it over, you couldn’t actually SEE the damage. Yet. 

But you KNOW he won’t give up.   Looks like the FG will be in his pony-sized crate any time my human is out of the room for more than 10 minutes.  Did someone say Picards are puppies for 3 years?  Great.  Two more to go. 

But I must confess it’s nice to have someone ELSE in trouble these days. 

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up!

Well I hope all of my readers from Florida are safe and sound.  I have a feeling no one in Florida will be naming their dog Irma in the near future.  I sincerely hope everyone did not encounter too much loss…

While Irma was pounding Florida, the FG was pounding my human.  We learned something this weekend.  Human funny bones are really not all that funny.  Especially when they meet a flying Picard…

On Saturday, after we went for our morning walks and had our breakfast, my human went to visit her mother.  I think we should have gone along, however her apartment building does not “allow” pets.  That’s not to say we haven’t been smuggled in previously.  Mind you, never all three of us at the same time.  But on Saturday, none of us went.

Anyway, when my human came home in the afternoon, we were all excited – as if she had been gone for 3 weeks.  We raced around outside and barked at each other – like we had never seen each other.  We were barking and spinning and ripping hair off one another.  A joyful time.  At one point, Einstein and I ran in the house, anticipating dinner and my human shut the door.  She figured she would play some fetch with the FG to tire him out a bit.  So she threw the fetch toy.  And he raced to get it.  And she repeated the exercise.  And he raced out again.  And all was going great.  Until at one point the FG brought back the toy, and then went to lay down on the grass.  And he was watching my human get ready to throw the toy again. And she was revving the FG up by saying “Get ready…”  And JUST as she wound up to toss the toy, the FG launched himself to attempt to grab it BEFORE it was thrown.  In the process, my human had started to turn with the toy in her right hand.   And as the FG went to grab the toy, mid-air, his teeth came in direct contact with my human’s funny bone.  The funny bone isn’t exactly a bone – it’s actually the ulnar nerve that runs through the elbow and down the arm.  And when you hit it, the feeling is hardly funny.  You experience a combination of pain and numbness at the same time.

Anyway, my human actually heard a “clunk” and immediately thought he had broken her elbow.  Her arm went numb.  She stood still, trying to imagine how she was going to manage with a cast on her right arm.  She can sometimes be a BIT dramatic.  She stood there holding her elbow and saying “oh no.  Oh no.”  And she noticed her arm was actually bleeding.  In the meantime, the FG was jumping around and waiting for her to throw the toy.  So she put the toy in her left hand to get him to run off and threw it straight up in the air.  And it landed on the roof.  The FG just stared at the roof. By now my human was starting to get sensation back in her arm and fingers – so she figured her elbow was NOT broken.  And she wanted to get that toy OFF the new roof.  As if it would somehow harm the new shingles.  So she walked with her injured, bleeding right arm into the garage, pulled out a step ladder and a long tree cutting tool and went to retrieve the retrieval toy.  At this point, she had put the FG in the house – the last thing she wanted was for him to jump up on the ladder with her.  She was able to reach the toy and get it off the roof. 

I must add that my human was not upset with the FG – he was just super excited and it was an accident.  She put a cold compress on her elbow, the bleeding quickly stopped and yesterday the bruising didn’t look bad at all.

So there are several morals to this story…
1.  Be extra careful when revving up a young Picard.
2.  When you hit your funny bone, it does not mean your elbow is broken.
3. Do not attempt to throw fetch toys with your non-dominant hand.

Never a dull moment …never.

Have a good one.  Peace and paws up.