January 21.  And according to the crazy calendar, it’s One Liner day.    A day to think about those quick witted, short sayings that make you chuckle.  Or groan.  Or – could be serious.  And I found a BUNCH of dog one liners.  Although, I think if it’s a riddle, I suppose that is TECHNICALLY two lines.  But I’ll still include them – just because they are funny.  And every now and then, like after an inauguration, we all need a little laugh…

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings?  It’s hardly ever for them.   – Harry Hill

A chihuahua looks like a dog that is still far away.  – William Coronel

January 20.  So I looked at the crazy calendar to see what’s up today.  And I found two occasions listed – and the irony caught my eye….

Of course, the big occasion in the US is Inauguration Day.  The passing of the torch to the new President.  I was invited – as was most of the world, but I’m giving it a pass.  I have retrieving to do.  Kind of like being invited to go on a date and saying you have to wash your hair.  So for all those who thought they were dreaming about this whole election thing – nope – you are WIDE awake.  And it’s happening today.

But you want to know what OTHER day today is?  It is actually a day to recognize individuals with disabilities.  A day to recognize and support those people who may not have the same physical abilities like everyone else.  It’s a day of advocacy – and a day to empower individuals with physical challenges – and to show the world that you support people with all levels of abilities.  And you want to know what this day is called?  International Day of Acceptance. 

Does anyone see the irony in the title with the first day I mentioned? 

This is just a humble dog’s opinion, but I think it’s time for humans to work together.   Accept the reality of this inaugural day- but use your voice to advocate.  Use your voice – like Frodo.  For whatever cause you hold close to your heart.  But make sure you use your voice…and never underestimate the power of that voice….just remember how noisy Frodo is on his own – and think what our house sounds like when two more of us join in.

Have a GOOD one.

So I have two questions.   And I guess they are about quirky behavior….

#1.  Is it a Picard thing to walk around and squeak?  I am renaming the FG.  He will henceforth be called “Squeaky”.  When Squeaky was a little pup – which seems like a long time ago – I can’t remember him being smaller than me – he would squeak when he needed to go out.  So my human would take him out.  And he still does that when he wants to go out.  But he squeaks ALL the time.  He will stand in front of the gate to the DFZ, look in and squeak.  He will stand by the deck door, look out and squeak.  He will lie down in front of Frodo, look at him and squeak.  He will sit next to my human while she is eating, stare at her and squeak.  And this is NOT because he has not had exercise.  He’ll do it after he was out for an hour long romp outside.  Or after 10 rounds of Find the Bunny. I think he needs to be oiled.

#2.  Is there anyone else who inhales food like me?  I mean I have always joked that we PONs inhale our food – but I inhale everything edible.  Give me a piece of kibble?  I inhale it.  Give me a piece of banana?  Whoosh.  Gone.  Now Frodo likes to inhale his meals too – but he DOES chew too.  About the only thing I chew is apple or carrot.  But just one or two bites.  While Frodo chews several times and the FG – well he chews and spits.  Chews and spits.  Until said food item is barely recognizable.  But not me.  Inhale and gone.   Call me Hoover.  That’s why my human never buys fancy dog biscuits at the bakery. I don’t even taste them.  I guess the good news is that I don’t pick up inedible things like rocks.  Now THAT would be a real problem….

So those are my two quirky questions.  About Squeaky and Hoover.   And then there is Einstein. The big question about him would be how he got so smart.  I think he did more homework when he went to Puppy School.

Just think how boring life would be without our quirks…. 

Have a good one.

The first skill I call his “latch ESP.”  Frodo has an unbelievable ability to know when a door has not been latched.  For example, let’s say my human goes into the garage aka grooming torture parlor aka storage room aka home to the dog food storage bin aka place to keep the car. Now my human doesn’t always need an entourage following her in the garage – especially the FG who likes to steal winter boots and really, anything that isn’t bolted down. So when she goes in, she usually closes the door behind her.  But if by SOME chance she doesn’t fully close the door, and it doesn’t latch – Frodo is IN. Every time.  Same is true for the laundry room.  One never knows WHAT might fall out of a pocket when clothes are going into the wash – so if that door is not latched – Frodo is there surveying.  And although the gate to the DFZ doesn’t have a latch, he is well aware if the bungee cords aren’t holding it – and he is IN.  He’s the latch king.

January 17.  And it’s a big birthday – for Betty White!  Betty turns 95 today.  The Golden Girl actress and comedian has a long history in the entertainment field.  But what you may not know is that she is a big animal rights activist – and she loves dogs.  Betty is said to have turned down a role in a movie once because there was a scene where a dog was thrown down the garbage chute in an apartment building.  Even though it was a comedy, she didn’t want people to get crazy ideas.  Over the years she has contributed lots of money and has volunteered with a variety of animal charities – including The Seeing Eye – the oldest guide dog school in the world.  Her list of accomplishments is long – she has certainly had a life well-lived – and we hope that she has a HUGE party when she hits 100!

And in other entertainment news – the 146 year old Barnum and Bailey Circus is folding the Big Top tent for the last time.  The entertainment icon saw declining attendance over the years – particularly after the circus had pressure from animal rights activists and it stopped featuring elephants.   My take on the circus?  It was a form of entertainment back in the day before the age of technology.  It gave people a glimpse of exotic animals that they would never have the opportunity to see in their home environments.  Dogs were actually seen in circuses dating back to the earliest days – in fact that’s where the term “dog and pony show” originated.  So like everything in life, times change.  And the days of the traveling variety show have come to an end.  But not to worry – my human says that if anyone still wants to see a circus, all they have to do is come to our house…

Have a good one and Happy Birthday Betty!

Well they survived.  My human came home from class with no sprains or fractures, she still had a few treats left in her pocket and the FG was in a great mood.  Mind you, I’ve never seen the FG in a bad mood.  I understand he was the only Picard in the class.   Which I guess is not really a surprise given that there are probably only two other Picards in the province.  There were several Shelties in the class, several Cavalier King Charles Spaniels, a Doberman, a Bearded Collie and an Old English Sheepdog.  Glad to hear the herding group was so well represented.  Elroy did not rip the tail hair off any dogs – though he was staring at the butt of the Old English a couple of times.  Three people asked my human what Elroy was.  My human said coyote.  And she said he was just there to help him get used to being around dogs.     JUST kidding – about the coyote part.  But several people  didn’t know what he was.  Guess they don’t study rare dog breed books like my human.  

Elroy reportedly did a decent job – although he has been trained to “sit” for his obedience classes – and he apparently hasn’t figured out that for the beauty pageant classes, you don’t sit.   For those unfamiliar with beauty pageant training, if you have ever seen a dog show, and you see how those dogs run around the ring with their humans and it all looks so easy and the dogs stand like statutes for the judge to look at them – well I’m here to tell you, it’s actually not as easy as it looks.  My human is really the one who needs the classes and even on Day 1, the teacher identified one of my human’s bad “habits.”  She does this thing where she puts her finger in front of us when she wants us to run around the ring.   It looks like she is hailing a taxi as she runs around.  The teacher told her to stop it.  But of course, she can’t.  She’s been doing it forever.  One of the other people in class suggested she carry something in that hand so she wouldn’t “raise the finger” and look like she was running  around the ring and proclaiming that she and the FG were #1.    The woman gave her something to hold, which the FG then thought was something for him to tug.  That plan didn’t work.   She has to work on that.  She’s also so busy watching the FG and entertaining him during class that she sometimes doesn’t hear the instructions.  I imagine that they have already been identfied as the class clowns.  The two of them  make a good pair.

But all in all, my human came home happy too.  Although she DID need a nap when she got back.  Good thing she had taken Frodo and I for an hour long walk BEFORE she went to class.  

She’s off today – so I propose a 2 hour walk with me and Frodo – given that WE didn’t get to go to a class yesterday.  It’s really only fair. 

Have a happy Monday.  You know we will!

https://vimeo.com/126432238

Well the FG has a big day today.  He’s going to a new class.  A handling class – to prepare him for dog shows.  Heaven help the instructor.  My human has been told that this instructor is excellent – and she’s been waiting to see if they could get in the class – it’s very popular.  They got the word last week that they were “in.”  She’s been waiting for this opportunity – she said she feels like her kid just got accepted to Harvard.  I would say that’s a BIT of an exaggeration.   We’ll see how the first class goes – it would be embarrassing to be excused after one shot.  But if he behaves the way he has been on his morning walks…well I hope someone brings a video camera.

So good luck to my human today.  She better have a Coca Cola before she goes.  And I’m thinking that maybe there should be some rum in that coke…Better yet – I’ll have a big one ready for her when she gets home.  No doubt she’ll need it…

Have a good one.

So my human got home from work the other day, and let us out for our raucous, spinning, barking pee.  After which we raced back into the house to be fed.  We all had our supper, and the FG went out again, this time on leash.  “Duty” calls the FG quickly after he has eaten.  So he came back in and my human went to change out of her work clothes into her slobbery, dog-hair covered comfy clothes, before taking Frodo and I out.  She went into the bedroom to change.  She also took out her eyes ( she wears contact lenses) so she was gone a few minutes.  And when she came out of the bedroom, she realized no one was waiting for her by the door.  Hmmmmmmm.  She thought it odd and proceeded down the hall.  And that’s when she saw the snowstorm.  An ENTIRE roll of toilet paper was shredded under the dining room table and ALL of us were chewing on bits of paper.  And what were the first words out of her mouth?   “What did you do?”  You would think after my blog the other day she would have been more creative in her choice of words.  Obviously she didn’t READ my blog.  And her next statement? “Who did this?” Take your pick.  But there was one probable suspect…

Let’s just say that the FG has taken counter surfing to the next level.  I mean he has been surveying counter content for some time now – since he got big enough to see easily over the counter when he puts his two paws up.  BUT, until now he has never actually TAKEN anything from the counter.  Not that there are many options, as my human is careful not to leave anything dangerous, or important ON the counter.  But she forgot two rolls of toilet paper that she was supposed to put in the bathroom.  She put them down for some reason and left them there.  And the temptation was too much so the FG did it – he STOLE the TP.  And when he started the shred-fest, we ALL joined in.  In the photo you are only seeing a bit of the paper – it was spread out everywhere.  And each one of us had paper in our mouths.  Chewing like we had gum.  My human stared in disbelief.  At which point, in her frustration she blurts out “If you like eating toilet paper so much, maybe I’ll give you a roll for your supper tomorrow!!!!”    Don’t you love when humans get dramatic?  

So she picked up the papers, while we were racing around trying to hoover any bits we could find.  

Now that we have the FG trained to GET things off the counter, we’re hoping she will forget a whole bag of dog food on the counter.  Fat chance.  But one can always dream….

January 13.  And it’s Friday.  So if you are superstitious, you may be pulling the covers over your head this morning and not going out.  Unless you have a dog.  We won’t let you stay in bed!

I did a little searching and I found a website that listed 42 superstitions having to do with dogs.   I’m not too trusting of them – for example, one superstition suggested that if you are being followed by a strange dog, it could mean bad luck.  OR good luck.  So you see what I mean.

Another says  “It is good luck meet a dog.  Especially a Dalmation.”  Now that one is obviously true, but I think it certainly applies to ALL dogs and not JUST Dalmations!

 A dog howling at night is a sign of bad luck.  It sure IS bad luck – for the human who has to listen to the howling.

If a dog does not like a man, it is a sign the man has a bad character.  Hello?  I think we call that INTUITION and NOT superstition.

If a black dog appears in your car when you are driving alone, you are in danger of an accident.  Of COURSE you would be in danger of an accident!  If a dog appeared out of no where, that would scare the heavens out of anybody – and no doubt cause an accident!

If a dog eats grass, it is a sign he needs a tonic.  Hello again?  Nothing superstitious about THAT!  Many of us like to eat grass if we have a stomach upset. That’s a fact.

It is unlucky to meet a barking dog early in the morning.  We live with Frodo.  My human would therefore be THE unluckiest person on the planet.   He barks EVERY morning.  And lately I have joined him.  Maybe I cancel out the bad luck…

And here’s an interesting one.  You know the superstition that if you walk under a ladder it is bad luck?   Well – don’t worry.  There is a remedy.  AFTER you walk under that ladder, cross your fingers until you see a DOG and the bad luck will be reversed.  I’m not sure WHAT happens if you actually walk under the ladder WITH your dog….

But my FAVORITE …. In French tradition, if you step in dog poop with your left foot, good luck will surely follow.  NO WONDER my human isn’t UNLUCKY with all of Frodo’s barking.  This one has TOTALLY reversed the bad luck barking!

Anyway, I wish you GOOD luck today – and for the whole weekend! Have a good one!

Today is January 12.  And it’s Jack London’s birthday.  Jack London was a famous American writer – well known for his dog stories – The Call of the Wild and White Fang.  These tales of the north, highlight dogs in the wild and look at the dog’s view of the world.  I really believe that all of us canines experience that Call of the Wild.  I mean it’s pretty evident when Elroy and I take off into the woods.  We are answering that call.  In more ways than one.  But really – ALL dogs experience that call of the wild.  Even chihuahuas and miniature poodles.  While they likely would not be excited about digging out a cave in the snow to sleep – and many of us wouldn’t – we all have those “moments” when that inner call comes out.  It’s those moments when we dogs race around with reckless abandon.  Not chasing anything.  Not retrieving anything.  Not herding anything.  Humans call it the zoomies.  But really – it’s that momentary Call of the Wild – when we return to our primal roots. And ALL of us do it.

Let’s face it – most of us are QUITE content having a roof over our heads, a comfy bed and food in our bowls that we didn’t have to hunt for.  But we STILL feel that call.   It’s definitely a canine thing.  I mean how often do you see adult humans running around with reckless abandon with their hands in the air for NO reason?  Mind you, if they did so in a public place, there would no doubt be some odd stares.  And I guess kids do it – they haven’t yet learned to curb that inner call… Good for them.

So Happy birthday Jack -and in honor of his day try to feel that inner call.  But just be careful where you do it…