ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!  We are going on a ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!  And I am soooooooooo excited!  We are headed for the world famous Cabot Trail – right here in Nova Scotia. CHECK.  IT.  OUT.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC9S4Ehgq1s
We will see mountains.   We will see ocean.  And MAYBE we will see MOOSE.  Although my human has driven around the Cabot Trail probably 30 times, and has never actually SEEN a moose.  They are there – for SURE, but she has never spotted one.  Maybe this time.  One thing for sure – Velcro dog and I will be on leash.  ALL the time.  My human will no doubt take LOTS of photos – so I’ll share our travel adventures.

And in other good news, I threw up yesterday.  Which was FANTASTIC.  Why?  Well…I wasn’t going to talk about this…but what the heck – I might as well fess up.  You see – I was in deep trouble for the past week.  Because…. well….I amputated a stuffed bunny’s leg…

Three weeks ago we had company arrive – a friend of my human’s who comes to visit us every summer.  And we were playing “find the bunny” – while my human was at work.  He hid the bunny downstairs and I went to find it.  But I was gone a LONG time.  So my human’s friend went to find me.  And he found one bunny.  With stuffing coming out of him.  He grabbed the bunny and put him in the garage.  What he didn’t notice was that the bunny was missing a leg  – because the bunny was all mushy.  My human didn’t realize that the bunny had surgery until several days later.  After I had two episodes of vomiting.  THAT’S when she saw the bunny.  She took the bunny to the Vet (not to fix him, but to see if the Vet had any suggestions about a stomach containing a bunny leg) and was told that we would have to “wait and see.”   In the meantime, I still had a great appetite, and I was pooping just fine.   I just had those two episodes of vomiting.  My human was beginning to think that I had chewed the leg enough, that it passed through my guts.  Nope.  Yesterday morning, over a WEEK since I performed the amputation, I threw up the bunny leg. If you ever wanted to see two happy humans examining dog vomit, you should have seen my human and her friend. 

So it looks like my “find the bunny” game will be quite restricted from now on.  And good thing my human bought that new bunny when she was at Crufts.  The old bunny has gone to the stuffed bunny cemetery.  I feel bad – but I am sure glad that I am feeling 1000% again.  Just in time for our ROAD TRIP!  

I wonder if I will find a stuffed moose on the Cabot Trail….

Stay tuned for my on-the-road adventures!

©  Linda Wozniak

OK.  Something is REALLY going on.  I saw a suitcase.  Which means someone is going somewhere.  Personally, I have no plane tickets – so I’m doubtful it is me.  Mind you, with all the Air miles my human collects at the pet store, I think I SHOULD be flying somewhere.  Still, I doubt it’s me, or Velcro dog going on a holiday.  But I’m a bit concerned as we have not yet found a new dog sitter.  At least WE have not met one.   So this is very odd. Very odd.  I can’t stand the suspense…

So yesterday I was talking about dogs getting older.  And how I want to see us be around with our humans for a LONG time.  Well, it was timely because in the paper toady there was an interesting article about a great organization called Elderdogs.  WHAT a fantastic idea.  It is a non-profit organization that has two big goals – to help elderly humans in the care of their dogs, AND it helps elderly dogs, in the event that their humans cannot care for them. They also offer humans support when we dogs go to the Rainbow Bridge. 

The founders of this organization know all about the incredible bond that we canines have with humans. As far as I can tell, this is a Canadian organization.  I’m not sure if it exists in other countries – I certainly hope so!  Check out their website: http://www.elderdog.ca/ 

You know, despite the fact that I question MANY things that humans do, they CAN be quite nice too.  For example, remember how I spoke about people taking our photos when we were in Lunenburg? One gentleman in particular took some photos and came over to my human and asked if he could email them to her.  She happily agreed – and the photo you see is complements of Vaughn Mullen.  How nice is that?

Our marathon grooming results have quickly disappeared.  It has been raining the last few days.  Which has made our morning walk look like a funeral march.  You KNOW how much we enjoy the rain.  My human ATTEMPTED to take us down the trail – but she took one look at the mud, and turned around.  We QUICKLY followed her.

Rumor has it SOMETHING is happening this weekend.  My human says we have to stay clean and neat until the weekend.  Please tell me that it isn’t another dog show this soon…

And on a final note today….some sad news.  Bretagne, the last known surviving search dog from 9/11 passed away.  She was 16.   She is now running free at the Rainbow Bridge with all of those other search and rescue dogs who went on before her.   And you know, she is also there with those humans she helped to find…I bet they welcomed her with a big hug…

16 is a pretty good age for a Golden Retriever.  But really – it’s still not enough.  I just don’t get it.  Why are we dogs not around longer?  There was recently a dog who lived to 30.  And everyone was excited about it.  It’s such a rare occurrence.  It can’t be a size thing with dogs – I mean the average age of a horse is 25-30 years and heck, elephants live an average of 60 years!!!!  My human recently read an article that says breeders need to be active in looking at longevity in dogs, and not just accept certain ages as just “being what they are” – like 7 years for a Bernese Mountain dog. A search of the net indicates that there IS research being done on longevity. Check out these websites.
http://www.uwhealthyaging.org/#!dog-aging/c13h0
http://www.uwaging.org/CLC

And here’s a podcast:
http://www.uwmedicinepulse.com/dog-longevity/

I’m hoping Velcro dog and I will be around for at least 30 years.  That’s a LOT of blog posts.  Heaven knows, though, I rarely run out of material…

Have a good one!

©  Linda Wozniak

I know everyone was awaiting my dog show results and I shared them yesterday.  I won. Velcro dog won.  All was right with the world.  And it WAS a good day…but there were some “behind the scenes” details that I left out. So allow me to share them today…

So we know how my human agonized over grooming us.  All day Saturday.  And on Sunday, she made us wear  ridiculous suits to keep us clean while out on our morning walk.  We didn’t get to walk the trail – for fear our FEET would get muddy.  Here I am – looking less than impressed.

She had boots ready for us too – but both of us gave her SUCH a look when she put the coats on that she didn’t DARE attempt to put the boots on.  After our walk she still insisted on fluffing and puffing us on the grooming table AGAIN before we left for the show.  

We KNEW something was up – and we couldn’t WAIT to get in the vehicle.  But BIG mistake.  My human took me out first and told me to go and pee, before I could get in my crate.  Big BIG mistake.  In my over-exuberance about getting in the car,  I RACED around in circles on the front lawn.  The wet front lawn.  Which now made my overly-groomed feet turn green.   My human attempted to kick herself for letting me off leash.  

When we arrived at the show, we had to wait until my human unloaded the vehicle.  Honestly.  The STUFF  she takes.  There were numerous bags of heaven knows what, a grooming table on wheels that weighs 400 lbs, a special box filled with the instruments of torture (aka grooming tools), a change of clothing for her (including an extra pair of shoes – I guess in case she wore the first pair out), 32 different leashes and collars (in the event that 30 of them broke, I guess) and a soft-sided crate.  

On our way into the arena, who did we see but our treasurer?!!!!  Some would call her our breeder, but since I don’t like the term “litter” of puppies, and I call them a treasury of puppies, I call her our treasurer.  It has been a long time since I have seen her, but I practically did back flips when I realized who it was.  She thought we both looked great.

When we went into the arena, our heads exploded.  Unlike humans who socialize at these events, we dogs are not REALLY allowed to socialize.  And peeing on every vertical surface once we are IN the building is frowned upon.  We found the real estate that had been claimed for us earlier in the day by Auntie Glenda – and there was our soft-sided crate.  All set up.  Velcro dog knows the drill at these beauty pageants and he SAW the grooming table so he immediately made a beeline for the crate.  Which meant I would be the first victim.  Which as I mentioned yesterday, was quite necessary.  Especially with my lovely emerald feet.  When Velcro dog went in the crate, my human went to zip him in.  And she immediately broke the zipper on the crate door.  Seriously.  If I could make a business selling broken soft-sided crates, I would be one rich dog.  So now with the entry no longer secure, my human had to keep her eye on Velcro dog while I was undergoing torture.  And Velcro dog was good – UNTIL he saw the bag where the treats were held.   Sure.  TRY and keep him in  a crate when he KNOWS there is food.  Did he want to escape and see other dogs?  No.  Did he want to get out of the building?  No.  Did he WANT THOSE TREATS?!  YES!!!!!  My human had to practically stand on the bag to keep him away from them.

About an hour before our debut, my human decided to take each of us out for a pee.  And in her mind, a poop as well.  Seems she still has nightmares about the first time Frodo was in a Group ring and he pooped.  So now she BEGS us to poop BEFORE we go in the ring.  We both obliged.  And remember this was AFTER we were completely groomed.  Unfortunately…not only did I poop, but unbeknownst to me,  I had some cling-ons on my fluffy clean butt.  So BACK on the grooming table.  And out came the dryer.  Again.  And a fluffy clean butt.  Again. 

And lastly, did I mention how NERVOUS my human gets at these things?!  Honestly.  The woman can do a speech in front of 500 people, can do a live TV or radio interview, and totally freaks out running around in a circle for 24.6 seconds with one of us on a leash.  Frodo just stares at her as if she is someone he doesn’t know.  And that’s part of the reason she doesn’t take ME in the ring – two crazy beings attached to the same piece of leather would NOT be good.  On the other hand…it COULD be entertaining.

After our debut in the ring was over, we saw two competitors get into a big argument.  Not the dogs.  The humans.  Something about someone not giving the other person enough space in the ring.  Really?   It was like watching a political debate.  Holy moly, humans really ARE weird.  

So those are some of the “behind the scenes” adventures at the show.  And to think some people do this almost every weekend!  Heaven help them.  I wonder if cat shows are equally exciting….

©  Linda Wozniak

Well.  We survived the dog show.  Good news – bad news.  I won another point toward my championship – so I am more than half way there.  And Velcro dog won the breed. So he beat me- but I was happy we both came away as winners.  And we both thought the little girl dog we competed against was QUITE cute. So that’s the good news.  The bad news – because we did well – now my human wants to enter us in MORE beauty pageants, so I can MAYBE finish my championship.  I don’t get this whole “finish” thing.  Frodo is “finished” but he is still being shown in pageants.  So it’s over – but not really over… 

We have my “Auntie Glenda” to credit with my win.  Auntie Glenda is a VERY good friend of my human’s.  And I quite like her – and although she is a professional dog groomer, I don’t hold that against her.  She took one look at me when I walked in the arena and said that my human is NEVER allowed to TOUCH shears of ANY kind and approach me.  She had to work on me for about an HOUR to fix the mess my human made.  Oopsie.   And then, Auntie Glenda also showed ME in the pageant – because my human had to show Velcro dog.  Before we went in the ring, I was a TAD wild.  A bit like a bucking bronco.  But when I step into that ring, I put on my game face – and give it all I have.  Auntie Glenda said she loves showing me – because I go in there like I own the ring.

I was rooting for Velcro dog in the Group ring, but alas, no big ribbon for him.  I think the judge wasn’t wearing his glasses.  

After the Group judging, we left the show and went to the waterfront in Lunenburg, the town where the show was being held.  We took photos in front of the famous sailing ship- the Bluenose (which is depicted on the Canadian dime) and while my human was shooting photos  of us,  other people were also taking photos of us.  I guess all that grooming made us look pretty cute.  The picture of sweetness and handsomeness, until some terrier went by and we both decided for NO good reason that we wanted to kill him.  We must have seen a gazillion dogs at the show and never paid much attention to anyone.  But the ruckus we made – well my human was ready to toss us into the harbor.  Despite our moment of temporary insanity, we WERE well behaved otherwise – and lots of people took our photos.   When tourists asked what breed we were -my human said we were rare “Nova Scotia Lobster Catching Dogs. ”   Just kidding.  She said we were PONs.  Except for the first person who asked after our barking outbreak.  She told that guy we were Goldendoodles.

So.  After 5+ hours of grooming, several hours of driving, and $45 of yummy treats, we came home with TWO 25 cent ribbons.  A job well done.  Those humans.

©  Linda Wozniak

June 5.  Today is International Frozen Yogurt day.  You CAN buy frozen treats made of yogurt for your dog at some specialty pet stores.  We had the treat once.  But really, it is easier and more economical to make your own.  Hint. Hint human.  Here are two options:

Frozen peanut butter yogurt treats (from Cesar Milan’s website.  OK you may not like his training methods, but his treats sound good. And EASY!!!)

Ingredients

• 32 ounces vanilla yogurt
• 1 cup peanut butter

Directions

1. Melt the peanut butter in a microwave safe bowl
2. Combine the yogurt and melted peanut butter
3. Pour the mixture into cupcake papers
4. Place in the freezer

1. Melt peanut butter in microwave for about 30 seconds
2. Place all of the ingredients into a blender, mixer or food processor and mix well (until smooth)
3. Pour into ice cube trays or Popsicle trays.
4. Freeze until firm.
5. Pop out of the tray (you’ll need a knife) and let your dog enjoy this frozen treat!
   
   So have a cold one on me today!

We are getting ready to head out to the beauty pageant.  My human spent over 5 hours grooming us yesterday.  We were SUPPOSED to go to the early morning show today…but she was feeling a bit stressed about trying to get there so early – so we are opting to just go for the afternoon show.  Velcro dog looks VERY nice.  And as for me….while PONs are not supposed to be trimmed, my human HAD to do a bit of touching up with some thinning shears on my legs – to blend in my personal styling job.  The front half of me looks great – but the back half…well it looks like a puppy coat.  I’m going to the show to provide comic relief.  

The vehicle is solidly packed.  Humans and dog shows.  The STUFF that they bring.  Honestly, it’s crazy.  It looks like we are moving.  ALL this work for less than 2 minutes in a show ring.  Again – more evidence that human’s are strange.  But we humor them.  And besides, the treats are good – they pull out the REALLY good stuff when it comes to dog shows.  Not the old biscuits sitting in the jar on the counter.  Nooooo.   REALLY GOOD stuff.  I don’t even know where they get it.  And then they agonize over what to wear.  As IF we dogs care.  But whatever they wear, it has to have pockets.  For the delectable treats.  The kind of treats that if you leave them in your pocket, your special dog show attire will be stained.  Oh and they have to wear special shoes.  So they won’t  fall in the ring.  The more I talk about this stuff, the stranger you humans look.  

OK, time to load up.  Wish me luck.  I must remember not to poop in the ring.  That would make my two minutes even MORE memorable!  

Have a good one!

©  Linda Wozniak

Well it’s that time of the year when we have to go out for our final pee of the night in the dark.  And I mean IN THE DARK.  My human turns on no outside lights when we go out.  And she would NEVER wear her headlamp at night at this time of the year.  Why?  June bugs. June bugs are these GIANT baseball sized beetles that come out at night.  OK.  Maybe they are not THAT big – maybe more like the size of a grape – but when they hit the screens on the windows at night, they sound MUCH bigger. They hit the screens where the lights are on.  And heaven forbid you leave the light on by the door when you go out.  They fly all around the lights – and totally freak out my human. Velcro dog and I don’t really care.  If they landed in front of us, we would probably just eat them.  Some places would consider them a good source of protein.  But my human is definitely NOT a fan.  So it is a VERY dark and QUICK late night pee.

But don’t worry, although it is tricky to see bunnies in the dark, I can still smell them.  Which is why I am ALWAYS on a leash at night.  Unlike Velcro dog who I am sometimes ashamed to call my brother.  Get THIS – he SAW the bunny the other night, chased him into the back yard – but would NOT go into the woods to chase him.  While I was screaming bloody murder – because I was on a leash.  A quick call to Velcro dog, and he came back.  He just has no sense of adventure…

Well – back to hiding behind the curtains.  The groom-a-thon continues today.  Let’s see how long before my human finds me…

©  Linda Wozniak
 

Well this weekend, our municipality has something called a Curbside Giveaway Weekend.  You can put out at curbside any reusable items that you no longer want, but things that others may think is a treasure.  Velcro dog wants to put me at curbside.  I didn’t think that idea was so funny.

I suggested that Velcro dog and I drag  all of the instruments of torture aka grrrrrrrooming tools out to the curbside.  There must be some poor poodle somewhere who could use that stuff.

And speaking of grooming….rumor has it that there will be a groom-a-thon at our house starting tonight.  This Sunday is the day my human has entered Velcro dog and I in two beauty pageants.  So I have 24 hours to grow more hair on my back legs.  WHAT a joke.  Honestly, I don’t stand a CHANCE of bringing home any 25 cents ribbons.  And get THIS – we are entered in the first group being judged which begins at 8AM.  And the show site is about an HOUR from our house.  Which means we will be up in the dark getting ready to go.  My human is already second guessing why she entered us. 

Perhaps I can drop the keys to the car at the curbside….Wish me luck…

©  Linda Wozniak

Harambe.  A name that two weeks ago, most people never knew.  Now – many people have heard the name.  But in case you haven’t, Harambe was a gorilla in the Cincinnati zoo.  Who was minding his own business, in his own “home” when an “intruder” invaded his abode.  It was a 4 year old boy who managed to get into Harambe’s enclosure.  Long story short, Harambe ended up losing his life because of the child.  Which of course, incited rage around the world.   Rage against zoos.  Rage against the shooting of Harambe.  Rage against the parents of the child. 

Primate experts supported the sad decision to shoot Harambe.  They say it is likely he could have injured the child – perhaps not intentionally.  But still, the large animal posed a real threat.  Animal rights people advocates use this sad event as a chance to argue against zoos.  They don’t seem to realize that many zoos have changed a lot over the years – and they are not just a place to go and see animals in captivity – but a place where necessary breeding programs are in place for endangered species – like Harambe’s.  It is likely that if some of these programs did not exist, some species would disappear in the wild due to human poaching.   While the idea of captive animals may be sad, I wonder if it is more sad if those species disappear completely…

Many people are unhappy with the child’s parents.  And really….that does seem to be at the heart of this whole sad story.  Mind you – I wasn’t there – so I don’t know what the parents were doing.  And while I cannot compare a dog to a  child…I cannot help but wonder if a human was walking a dog in the zoo and it got into the enclosure…who would be responsible?  Just saying.

Gorillas and primates in general are pretty darn smart.  Maybe almost as smart as a PON.  I still think if I has opposable thumbs, I would be better able to demonstrate just how smart I am….

And speaking of intelligent primates, allow me to end my blog on a happier note.  This video gave my human a chuckle – although she is not sure about the commentary, because she doesn’t speak Japanese.   But you don’t need the explanation.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An2xqYke1Yg   This dog is a bit more cooperative than I would be – mind you he DID show a HINT of  stubbornness.  My human says it reminds her of walking Frodo in the rain…

Now I am thinking we should get a chimpanzee…  Nah.  I think I’ll stick with my quest for a puppy…

Have a great day!

©  Linda Wozniak

June 1. According to the Crazy Calendar, today is News Year’s Resolution Recommitment Day.  This could probably be celebrated January 3.  Seriously, most humans don’t carry through with their resolutions – some stats say that less than 8% of humans actually stick to their plans.

Anyway, I thought I should look at my resolutions, and see how I am doing…

1.  Stop pouncing on Velcro dog when I go down the stairs first.  Nope.  Still doing it.  So this is my first fail.

2.  Stop providing hair styling services to Velcro dog.  Number 2 fail.  I just cannot stop my artistic flare.  I just can’t.

3.  Stop running off in the woods.  I said unless Paxton went first.  Well, sadly I can no longer blame Pax.  But now I actually do it to carry on HIS tradition.  But it’s number 3 fail.

4. Try my best at scent class.  OK. We had to stop going after the first set of classes due to my human’s schedule – but I WAS good when I was there!  And we hope to go back in the fall.  So this one I accomplished!

5.  I was SUPPOSED to say one thing each day that I was grateful for.  I REALLY should get back to this one.  It’s a good one – and I seemed to forget all about it.  So I GUESS it is technically another fail…

Hmmmm…  so my stats are not too good.  BUT here we go – if we go back to number 5 – I am grateful that I kept even ONE resolution! So there you go.  I’m back on track.

Now I just have to get the bunnies to keep from taunting me to come into the woods.

Oh and and here’s one more for #5 today – I’m grateful for all of you who take the time to read my crazy blog!  Seriously – I really am!

Have a good one!

©  Linda Wozniak