March 2016 – Page 3 – Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

Hey Buddy.

March 9, 2016Leave a Comment

March 9. Today, according to the crazy calendar, is Discover What your Name Means Day. Of course, my name, Viktor means “the conqueror.” How appropriate. Paxton means “peaceful town.” Our house is anything BUT peaceful with Bucket Head. And Frodo? It has no meaning. Frodo is a Frodo. I did find a Frode from Norway which means “wise one”- which actually fits.

I’ve talked before about how humans agonize over a name for a dog and then they call us an assortment of other names as well. Some people have a certain type of dog, and the name is tied to the breed. For example, a beagle would be named Snoopy. Or a Golden Retriever would be called Midas. Here’s a few, and let’s see if you can pick the breed that I would pick:

1. Sparky

2. MacTavish

3. Rocky

4. Pierre

5. Hunter

6. Queenie

7. Chico

8. Cocoa

9. Rusty

10. Simba

And here are my answers – although I am sure there could be more than one!

1. Dalmation – the official firehouse dogs!

2. West Highland White Terrier OR a Scottish terrier

3. Boxer – of course

4. Poodle. Just because

5. Labrador Retriever OR one of the other sporting breeds

6. Corgi – of course

7. Chihuahua – of course

8. Chocolate lab – of course

9. Irish Setter

10. Lowchen – the Lion dog

If I was going to rename Frodo, I would call him Einstein. And Paxton? He would be Buddy. In Nova Scotia, people call people Buddy all the time. It’s actually quite funny. “So did Buddy show up to clean your furnace?” “What time is Buddy going to deliver that package?” “Did you see Buddy at the coffee shop got a haircut.” Everybody is a Buddy here. It’s a popular dog name, but I really thing Pax could be a Buddy. I think I’ve even heard my human call him Buddy – as in “Come ON Buddy, it’s time to poop.”

Remember, whatever name you pick for us, can be dangerous. Remember that dog named Grim – and how he ended up meeting an early demise. Naming your dog Evil or Stormy or Chaos COULD be dicey. Although I DO think Chaos has a nice ring. Maybe I’ll make that my middle name. Viktor Chaos. Just call me VC for short. Wait until my human gets home and finds my new name. I just hope she doesn’t buy me any monogrammed gifts while she is at Crufts. I must text her. I had a short message from her yesterday letting me know she arrived at her destination across the pond. She told me she has seen quite a few sheep. Frodo and I just rolled our eyes – we’re all about the guilt gifts – not the sheep. The show doesn’t start until tomorrow – she had better be resting up today so she is ready to begin her Crufts adventure. And we will continue with OUR adventures here…

Have a good one!

Crufts. Let the Games begin!

March 8, 2016Leave a Comment

Ok. So today is the day that Crufts begins. Four days of dogs, dogs and more dogs. Today is the day of the beauty pageant for the Toy breeds and the Utility breeds. So that means the little wind-up dogs and the dogs who don’t like sheep, hunting, or pulling carts. They are also called the non-sporting breeds. I want to know if that is the same as poor sports? I think it does. I mean did you ever see the look on a Standard Poodle’s face if he DOESN’T win?

My human WILL watch some of the toy breeds today because a lady from the Halifax Kennel Club is showing a dog! Her very own Papillon. So my human will have to cheer them on. She also has some tickets for Obedience today. You know what THAT means. When she gets back she’ll be so inspired by the dogs she sees there – she’ll THINK we can do the same. Well maybe not me – but Frodo can.

We are behaving. So far. My human told the sitter about the mouse event – and even though we have had no further visiting by Mickey, the sitter is QUITE nervous about mice. I think I’ll play the run-to- the-cupboard-and-pretend- I -saw- something game. That’s always fun…

Anyway, I hope you have a fabulous Thursday! And you know, you can watch some of the action from Crufts on-line at http://www.crufts.org.uk. I’ll be watching to see if I can spot my human in the crowd. And I want to see what kind of packages she is carrying…

She’s gone. Day 1.

March 8, 2016Leave a Comment

So. While my human has abandoned us and gone off to Crufts, I decided I will continue to write my blog without her. I’m also including photos from our old photo album. I can’t tell you about all of our adventures while she is gone – as I am afraid she will read the blog – and the guilt-gift-buying will cease. I MAY write about what SHE is doing, IF she Skypes with me…

Instead, I have decided in the meantime to look at famous quotes in history, and I will modify them to better represent us canines. Basically, I will plagiarize the work of humans. But seriously, who will mind – I’m JUST a dog. For example, here are a few today:

Here is a famous quote by Robert Frost: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

If written by ME – the quote would be as follows:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one that the bunny took. And that has made all the difference. Including the fact that I did not get supper.

John Lennon said: Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

Viktor said: Grooming is what happens to you when you have not managed to run and hide.

Steve Jobs said: Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

Vitkor said: Your time is limited, so don’t waste it being groomed.

Vince Lombardi said: Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.

Viktor said: Winning isn’t everything, unless it comes to food that is accidentally dropped on the floor.

And lastly for today:

Aristotle said: There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.

Vitkor said, in a moment of sibling rivalry: There is only one way to avoid criticism: be Frodo.

Stay tuned for more witticisms from me while my HUMAN is gone!

You’re going WHERE?!

March 7, 2016Leave a Comment

Well, well, well. We FIGURED something was up with all the house cleaning and organizing going on. But the REAL clue was when we saw the SUITCASE come out. My human is leaving us – and the dog sitter is coming. And WHERE do you think my human is going?! To THE biggest DOG show in the world. She is going to Crufts!!! For those who have never heard of Crufts – it is in Birmingham, England and this year marks the 125^thanniversary. There are 21,929 dogs competing for the Best in Show title, with dogs from 47 countries – not including the UK! The show takes place over 4 days and it includes not only the beauty pageant, but obedience, agility, dancing…you name it. ANYTHING to do with dogs. It’s Doggie Disney World. And get this – there is a HUGE room with dozens and dozens and dozens of vendors selling dog stuff. Guilt gift glory!!!!!! Honestly, that is the only reason we are allowing her to go. We suggested she take one empty suitcase to fit all of our gifts.

Since it is a big anniversary for Crufts, I wonder if the Queen will go. Or maybe Charles. Or Harry. Or one of the butlers. I’m SURE some royal connection should be there.

My human is traveling with a friend from our local Kennel Club. I feel sorry for that woman – she doesn’t know what she has signed up for. My human likes to pack in every moment with something – rest is not on her agenda. And get THIS – she was invited to join a group of PON owners from the UK for a special dinner! L-U-C-K-Y or what?!

Yesterday I think she was feeling a tad guilty – so all of us went for a car ride to the grocery store. The windows of Harry are completely COVERED in olfactory art – it is like the car has frosted glass windows. A nice touch. My favorite part of the ride is when Paxton sits directly behind my human – and breathes on her. She has to drive with the window open – and it was pretty chilly yesterday. Score Pax.

She doesn’t leave until this evening – so we will be SURE to keep her busy until then. Now to start planning some tricks for the sitter….

Personal Trainer for hire

March 6, 2016Leave a Comment

You know, we canines could definitely have jobs as Personal Trainers. We are just like the trainer who gets humans to exercise and become more fit. And besides the daily walks that we require, we have an assortment of ways to get humans moving. Here are a variety of examples and they are best employed when the human is doing something else – for example, if they are seated and doing something like reading or working on their computers:

· Stand at the window and bark. And add a little growl. This makes the human get up to see what we are looking at. It doesn’t matter if nothing is there – we pretend whatever it was has disappeared into the woods. The objective, remember is to get that human MOVING.

· Bark at the front door. Like the window technique, this never fails to get a human up and moving.

· Use the urky-gurky sound. NOTHING can get a human moving more quickly – even from a sound sleep, than the sound of a dog before he pukes.

· Start a tussle with one of your canine “brothers.” Make it sound as if you are going to kill each other. But of course you AREN’T – you just want to get that human adrenaline pumping.

· Steal something. And run past the human – just out of reach. The human of course must get up to get back whatever it was. Unless you can eat it first.

· Lick yourself. Or your canine sibling. A LOT. This will get the human to come over and give you something else to chomp on, like a bone.

· INSIST that the human play fetch with you. This activity builds arm muscles. BUT, you can also get them moving by returning with the toy or ball and dropping it. Just out of reach.

· Simply disappear into another room. And be VERY quiet. This will make the human move to see what you are doing.

Yes – we canines DEFINITELY could be Personal Trainers. So for all those humans spending money on gym memberships – I have a better idea. Get a dog.

Have a good one!!

Puppies and more puppies…

March 5, 2016Leave a Comment

So you know how I mentioned that record-breaking treasury (litter) of 17 Maremma Sheepdog puppies in California? Well it seems the number 17 is a lucky number. A Labrador Retriever in North Carolina also just gave birth to 17 puppies. Yellow, chocolate and black. Of course the news reporter called them GOLDEN, chocolate and black. Here’s a warning – never call yellow Labradors “golden.” It drives Labrador people crazy. There are GOLDEN RETRIEVERS – which are a totally different breed. But not GOLDEN Labs. That’s your politically correct dog breed color warning for today.

It seems that although they broke the Lab record in North Carolina, the world record for Labs was 19. And get THIS – the world record for a treasury of any breed of puppies was….drum roll…..24 Neopolitan Mastiff puppies. Although, sadly, four passed away. But still – 20 surviving puppies is a LOT. I’m sure they looked cute – I mean WHAT puppy isn’t. But no offense to Neopolitan Mastiffs – I think they eventually look like some kind of prehistoric cross between an elephant, a rhinocerous and a bullmastiff. And talk about saggy wrinkles! I was going to say they are worse than the wrinkles on my human – but I know where to draw the line…

My human knew of a treasury of 14 Bernese Mountain Dogs born in Canada. What made the litter most amazing was that they were ALL male. CAN you imagine? 14 Bucket Heads. Scary.

Speaking of Bucket Head, we have had no evidence of Mickey Mouse, but Pax will still occasionally look at the ceiling. Now I think he’s doing it just to freak out my human. I’m thinking I should join in on the joke. I’ll race to the cupboard and pretend I saw something. I tried to convince Frodo to join in, but the Professor has no interest in such puppy-ish games. He is such a stick in the mud.

Well, it’s time to go and get my human to take us out. It’s Saturday- and it’s snowing. Yes. The dreaded “s’ word. My human is hoping this is the LAST snow for the season. She is such a dreamer.

I hope all of you have a fantastic day!

Was that a mouse?

March 4, 20161 Comment

Waiting for the Pest Control Guy

Oh the drama in our house. The other night, my human was working on her laptop in the dining room. And Paxton went crazy. He was lying next to my human, he jumped up and ran to the other room with his tail between his legs. Then he ran to the front door and started barking. And then he came back to my human, looking very nervous, got REALLY close to her and started staring at the ceiling. Which can mean only one thing. We have a mouse in the house. I have written before about our yearly “preparing of the arsenal” in the Fall – when we have field mice who decide that staying indoors is MUCH more comfy than outdoors in the winter. And my human now EXPECTS the arrivals– so she is prepared for them. This year, she set the traps early and she plugged up any POSSIBLE points of entry. And we only had ONE lone soul back in the Fall – AND one about two weeks ago. My human was thinking that since we ARE getting closer to Spring, maybe this year the number of annual visitors would be very small. Unlike the huge number of Americans who will be descending on our home in Canada this Fall if Trump becomes President... But I digress.

So the other night my human repeatedly had to reassure Paxton that the mouse would not get him. Frodo and I did not care – although ALL of us got pretty excited when we heard that trap go off two weeks ago. My human had to barricade us in the bedroom while she played mortician. I hate to admit this non-environmental behavior – but she does not re-use traps. Please do not send hate mail. She recycles and uses our compost bin, doesn’t waste water and turns off the lights. But she does NOT reuse traps.

Back to Paxton. Because he was SO agitated, my human started to wonder if it WAS a mouse. Did I happen to mention that the squirrel-free bird feeder is empty? And my human has NEVER seen a bird on it? BUT my human spotted a squirrel hanging off the feeder the other day? And the feeder was VERY, VERY close to the house. So take a neurotic Bernese who hears something, and combine that with a neurotic human who now envisions an attic full of squirrels and you guessed it – we have to call in the Pest Control people.

While the man examined every nook and cranny in the house and climbed up into the attic, we were all sequestered on the deck. Frodo screamed through the glass door that it was JUST A MOUSE – and WE could get him – but my human preferred to pay some guy to put traps in the attic. He didn’t see evidence of squirrels, raccoons, or bears – but he did see mouse poo. Mind you he said it COULD be old mouse poo. Surely in this day and age if they can send a man to the moon and analyze DNA from mummies, they can tell if it’s old or new poo! Apparently not. So several hundred dollars later, we are well-equipped with several DOLLARS worth of traps and Paxton and my human will be able to rest peacefully. Frodo and I just shook our heads…And she calls ME the crazy one….

Have a GREAT Friday!!

Thumbs up!

March 3, 2016Leave a Comment

March 3. According to the Crazy Calendar, today is What if Cats and Dogs had Opposable Thumbs Day. Who makes these things up? Anyway, opposable thumbs allow primates – like humans and apes to use their fingers to grasp and handle objects. It’s pretty obvious what that would mean for us dogs. No door would be an obstacle. I mean if you think Frodo is Pondini now, imagine if he had opposable thumbs. Let’s face it, the dog food would have to be put in a safe with a combination lock. Mind you, Frodo could probably figure out the combination. We could also hold our own leashes. Which could be interesting…And hitchhike. Another interesting vision…

In the news – a Maremma Sheepdog broke the record for the largest litter of puppies in California and the largest recorded litter of Maremma Sheepdogs anywhere. Ever. Remember – I don’t like that word “litter” to describe puppies. I still think we should be called a “treasury.” Anyway, there were 11 boys and 6 girls. These guys were bred to protect livestock and they are all going to homes on farms. IMAGINE 17 puppies. How much FUN would that be. ESPECIALLY when they start running around and biting and pooping everywhere. PURE joy. My human says someone should bottle the smell of puppy breath. She says there’s nothing like it.

On this day in 1877, Rutherford B. Hayes was sworn in as the 19^th US President. He apparently won by ONE vote. But he still won. And of course, I am only mentioning him because he was another dog guy. He had many dogs, including a popular Greyhound by the name of Grim. Sadly, Grim’s name was aptly chosen as he was hit and killed by a train. Reportedly many people sent condolence letters to the White House when he died. Moral of the story – be careful what name you pick for us dogs! Clearly MY name was aptly chosen. I am ALWAYS “victor”ious in THIS house.

Tomorrow I’ll fill you in on OUR news. Did you know Bernese Mountain Dogs could be terrified of mice? Paxton. Paxton. Paxton….

Have a good one!

Old stuff

March 2, 2016Leave a Comment

Well I had my last scent class in this set. And THANKFULLY, there was no exam. We did something called “blind searches” for the first time – where our HUMANS didn’t know where the treats were hidden. And I found it. Every time. This game is fun, although I DID have a moment where I completely forgot what I was doing. When I spotted some dog toys on the floor. We weren’t actually working with “distractions” yet – but clearly THAT is going to be a challenge for yours truly. Toys? That could mean fetching. And let’s face it, it is a tie between what I like more – treats or fetching. Seriously.

We had a great walk with my buddy, Jackson, the other morning. Well – FRODO had a great walk. He was off leash. And I was in chains. OK, maybe not CHAINS, but I was not allowed off the leash. My human had visions of me disappearing on a bunny or fox chase. I put my nose to the ground – and OFF I go. She is starting to wonder if this scent class thing was such a good idea after all. Getting me to use my nose MORE could be counter-productive!

March 2 is National Old Stuff day. I thought it was a holiday about my human. She did not find that analogy amusing. She likes old stuff. And she has lots of old dog stuff. So in honor of this day, here’s an old dog. He’s not THAT old and he’s not a PON – but he’s close. He was made between 1936 and 1973 in England. Mind you, he COULD be older than my human – which means he is ANCIENT. He looks like he needs a good grooming. Better him than me.

Have a great old day!

K9 WAGN

March 1, 2016Leave a Comment

March 1. On this day in 1937, the first permanent car license plates were issued in the U.S. Back then, they gave you a number – and that is what you put on your vehicle. Today, you can create your OWN license plate – and of course, MANY humans have plates having to do with us dogs. Here’s a SMALL sampling of some of the plates I found on-line:

DOGZ or DAWGZ

DOGSRUS

LKYDOGS (My human should have this one!)

PAWZUP

WUF-WUF or WOOF or RUF RUF

MYK9S

DOG PEN

DOG LVR or LUV K9S or K9 LVR

K9 WAGN or K9 BUS or WAG WAGN or K9 LIMO or WAGGIN

OMYDOG

K9MAMA (Another one my human could have!)

And then of course, lots of people put the type of dog they are owned by on the plates as well – like BERNESE, or MY PONS or LV LABS. Some people include the types of activities they do with their dogs – like DRFTDOG, AGIL K9S, CLNRUN, GNDOGS, RALLY ON or SHOWDOG.

Our vehicle, Harold, has one of those things that go around the license plate – and it reads “Love my Polish Lowland Sheepdog”. ( Note: It SHOULD say DOGS. ) And not to worry – Paxton is included too – the plate on the front of the vehicle has the picture of a Bernese head.

And speaking of Harold, my human got a very depressing phone message last week. VERY depressing. Brian, Harold’s doctor aka mechanic is RETIRING. WHO will look after Harold? We were all saddened by this news – Brian has performed many successful surgeries on old Harold. My human is on a mission to find a new mechanic – but it won’t be easy. It has to be someone who doesn’t mind working on a vehicle that has olfactory art on the windows, and sometimes MIGHT have a slight odor of K9s. Oh the drama.

I hope you have a fabulous day. I know I will!