July 2015 – Page 2 – Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

Don’t hamper my efforts!

July 21, 2015Leave a Comment

Our house is a disaster. OK. It’s not THAT bad – but things ARE a bit more chaotic than normal – as we are having renovations. Humans have this “thing” where they look at a room that they have been using for YEARS and all of a sudden they say “Ewwww – I don’t like this.” We canines really don’t care about that kind of stuff – this is totally a human thing. Anyway, what seems like three years ago, but is more like three weeks – the demolition began on what is called the “master” bathroom. My human is technically the “master” of the house – so I GUESS it is her bathroom. What began as a simple shower “replacement” became a full on, rip out, down to the studs destruction. Tile came off the walls and the floor. I think Frodo should have helped as he is great at digging, but my human said “no.”,

Things have come to a halt as we all excitedly await the back-ordered shower. OK. None of us canines is all that excited. And because of the destruction, there are a few “things” in the bedroom that would normally have their home in the bathroom. Like this clothes hamper. ..

The hamper has been in the bedroom since the explosion began – holding dirty clothing awaiting the laundry. But last night, I discovered something. …

My human came in the room and there I was with my head wedged in the fabric hamper – which stands on a metal base. “What are you doing?” she asked. What was I doing? I discovered TREASURE in there. You see, 90% of my human’s clothing has pockets. And in those pockets, one can find dog kibble. She’s like a squirrel preparing for winter – she always carries kibble. And of course, she has to empty her pockets before she does the laundry – or you end up with “kibocket” – the broken up, sometimes mushy residue of dog kibble in pockets after it has been through the wash. Anyway, when my human came in, I was quickly eating through the pockets of my human’s shorts.

“Stop” she shouted and extricated me from the hamper. She “secured” the velcro cover and told me to leave it alone. You would think the velcro would be easy to open – but Frodo took a different approach when my human left the room. He just quickly ripped a hole in the cover of the hamper. Quickly. I mean SUPER quickly. My human couldn’t have been out of the room a minute. But honestly, we are talking PONs and food. It’s no surprise really.

The hamper, or what’s left of it, has now been placed in a closet.

Apparently the new shower will be in this week. And then we can supervise the workers as they continue with the renovation of our new bathroom. Note I said “our”. Because really, we DO own this place….

Now excuse me while I see if I can get in that closet…

Stick Out Your Tongue Day

July 19, 2015Leave a Comment

July 19. Stick Out Your Tongue Day. Remember – I don’t make these up!

Now I have talked before about picnore – that behavior that we canines employ when we refuse to look at our humans as they attempt to take our photos. We look up, down, every which way except at the camera. Paxton and I are pros at picnore.

But the other behavior is sticking your tongue out at the camera. There is this thing about dog photos – when we put out our tongues, we can look very cute and relaxed. HOWEVER, there are also those photos that don’t look so cute – those shots where we are basically sticking our tongues out at the camera. My human has LOADS of those photos of me. I do it ALL the time. It’s my way of expressing my feelings about paparazzi. Lots of times my human just deletes them. But I did manage to find a few in the archives.

Enjoy!!

Passports

July 18, 2015Leave a Comment

Pistol and Boo are safe but it looks like their humans are still in trouble. Who are Pistol and Boo? Two Yorkshire terriers. Their humans? Johhny Depp and his wife Amber. And why are the humans in trouble? It seems the pirate and his wife tried to smuggle their tiny pooches into Australia on a private plane back in May while Captain Jack was filming a movie there. Australia has strict quarantine laws for importing animals – and apparently the couple tried to sneak their dogs into the country. The dogs were quickly returned to the US, but Amber was charged. She could face a hefty fine and/or jail time. My bet is that she pays a fine and all will be OK. We’ll se what happens – she goes to court in September.

This story made me look into the traveling restrictions between countries for us pets Holy moly there sure are lots of DIFFERENT requirements. Classifications INCLUDE:

· From one RABIES-CONTROLLED COUNTRY to another RABIES-CONTROLLED COUNTRY

· From a RABIES-CONTROLLED COUNTRY to a EU COUNTRY

· From a RABIES-CONTROLLED COUNTRY to a RABIES-FREE COUNTRY

· From a RABIES-CONTROLLED COUNTRY to a HIGH-RABIES COUNTRY

· From a HIGH-RABIES COUNTRY to another HIGH-RABIES COUNTRY

· From a HIGH-RABIES COUNTRY to certain RABIES-FREE COUNTRIES

· From a RABIES-CONTROLLED COUNTRY to outer space. OK. I added that one.

Note I said the classifications INCLUDE these example. It is all VERY complex. There is a website about Pet Travel that seems to have all the info one would need about international travel with us canine kids. They even suggest that we get a Passport. Of course I now want one. It doesn’t matter that I don’t have any immediate plans for international travel. When my best seller hits the market, I will no doubt need one. That – and a private plane.

What does the fox say?

July 17, 2015Leave a Comment

So. The last couple of nights, we have been doing the nighttime stampede- after hearing SOMETHING outside. The other night my human got up to see what all the commotion was about. Of course, she couldn’t see anything, but she did hear the mysterious sound. She told us to go back to sleep – which we finally did after the intruder left the area – and after several more stampedes .

Then yesterday morning at 5:10 when we were out for our morning jaunt, I stopped mid-step. I froze. I heard the sound in the distance. Then my human heard it. She still didn’t know what the sound was, so when she got home she decided to do some research on the computer. She found fox calls. She hit the play button and all heck broke loose in our house. All three of us sprang into action and raced to the deck door. Barking and howling and pushing to see where the sound was coming from.

My human figured that was the sound. And then she decided to try other calls. Cats. No big reaction. Raccoons. I just tilted my head back and forth. Paxton barked but no big deal. Porcupine. No reaction. Fox again. PONdemonium. Mystery solved. Now. If she would just let me outside when we hear it. I think I could solve the problem… Don’t worry – I won’t hurt him. I’ll just chase him away. Suuuuuuuuuure I will…

National Personal Chef Day

July 16, 2015Leave a Comment

July 16. National Personal Chef Day. We canines have our own personal chefs. They are called our humans. And some are more creative than others. Some humans make specially prepared meals for their dogs every day. Some put a scoop in bag of kibble or open a can and serve that. And for some it is a combo of both. If left to my own devices, I would be QUITE happy to help myself to my own meals. But the result would not be good. I would quickly become a 100 lb PON.

And speaking of weight gain – a new study just came out in England that indicates we purebred pups are becoming a bit too portly. The researchers looked at almost 1000 photos of dogs taken at the Crufts Dog show between 2001 and 2013. And it seems about 25% of the dogs were a bit too robust. Especially pugs, basset hounds and labs. They didn’t mention PONs. Thank goodness.

There is probably no coincidence that humans are ALSO a bit too portly these days. Perhaps a solution to the weight problem is for chunky humans to get out and take their chunky dogs for a walk. Problem solved.

Now excuse me while I go and see what is on the menu for today. Hey….now there’s an idea – dog restaurants! Mind you, the dining time would be pretty quick…

Cheers!

Saint Swithun’s Day

July 15, 2015Leave a Comment

July 15. Saint Swithun’s Day. He’s not as well known as Saint Patrick or Saint Nicholas – but he is the patron saint of Winchester Cathedral. He’s supposed to be a guy that you pray to in the event of a drought. Legend has it that if it rains on Saint Swithun’s Day, it will rain for 40 days more. There is even a poem about it:

St Swithun’s day if thou dost rain

For forty days it will remain

St Swithun’s day if thou be fair

For forty days ’twill rain nae mare

I’m not one to be terribly superstitious and I also don’t really bank on the weather people to get the forecast right either. I still say the best forecasting tool is a window. Look out and see what is happening. Frodo and I can forecast weather. If the door opens and we won’t go out, it’s raining.

Despite my pragmatic approach to the weather, I’m a BIT concerned as there IS rain forecast for today. Who is the patron saint you pray to, to stop raining or flooding? Hmmmmmm…..Wait. I found one. Saint Florian – he’s a patron saint of Poland. My kind of guy. He can be prayed to against flooding. He’s also a patron saint of brewers. He’s getting better all the time.

Saint Honoratus of Arles can be prayed to “for rain” and “against rain”. Too wishy washy for me.

I’ll go with the Saint Swithun’s forecast if it is good, and if not, I’ll get Saint Florian on the line. Like a good politician, I’ll hedge my bets.

Happy Saint Swithun’s day. May your forecast be good!

Stamp it out

July 14, 20153 Comments

July 14. On this day in history in 1845 in the US, the first postmasters’ provisional stamps were issued in New York City. It seems that stamps were being used earlier in the 1840’s in England – the first one was called the Penny Black. After the first stamps in England, other countries followed suit. Today, it costs about $150 to mail a letter from Canada. OK. Not THAT much. But the costs seem to go up daily. It’s sad – my human tells me that back in the old days, people used to send letters a LOT. Now everything is electronic. No wonder she becomes happy if she gets an old-fashioned letter. Which Paxton can then destroy. Personally, in our house, I think e-mail is safer.

Anyway, I had to look and see if I could find any postage stamps with Bernese or PONs on them. I found that Bernese stamps have been issued by a number of countries including, Guyana, Laos, West Africa, Finland, Monaco and of course, Switzerland. Some of those surprised me…I wonder how many Bernese are in West Africa….chasing lions….seriously.

Anyway, of course I had to see if there have been stamps issued with PONs on them. I found two from Poland – which is cool – but I didn’t find any from other countries.

So of COURSE, my human had to see if we could get a stamp in Canada with a PON on it. And low and behold, you can make your own stamps. Which cost a hefty price, but then, I’m worth it. I automatically ASSUMED the stamp would have MY image on it – after all, I’m the one with the blog. But nooooooooooooo. My human is too “fair” for that. So I would have to have my image WITH Frodo.

And then she started thinking she felt badly for Paxton. So, it suddenly becomes a stamp with the three amigos.

I vote for three DIFFERENT stamps – one for each of us. Or if it is JUST one of us, you know who I pick.

I have a feeling this stamp idea isn’t over yet…

Sirius

July 13, 2015Leave a Comment

The Dog Days of Summer. How many of you assumed that the saying refers to the fact that we dogs find the summer sun hot and we often prefer to lounge around in the shade? Nope. Who knew it has to do with a star? The dog star – Sirius. Back in the time of the ancient Greeks and Romans (just a few years before my human was born), the appearance of Sirius rising in the heavens– just before the sun, occurred in July, which was also the hottest time of the year. The days became known as the Dog Days. So TECHNICALLY, the saying has nothing to do with overheated canines – but over the years people have begun to think that it is the origin.

Sirius would be a cool name for a dog. I’ve never met one before. I must remind my human that when she gets me the Coonhound I want.

Stay cool!

Bubbles

July 12, 2015Leave a Comment

My human. She really is something else. This whole obsession with taking photos of us is crazy. Doesn’t she have enough? I mean it’s not like we dyed our hair or got a new hairstyle. And she gets these crazy ideas about photos. With props. Without props. In the woods. In the yard. On a rock. On the lawn. In the house. Seriously it is like living with full-time paparazzi. And yesterday she went to the dreaded Dollar Store. Source of all things embarrassing to canines. The supplier of all sorts of dreaded holiday attire. But WHAT could she have THIS time? All the holidays are over…

For some God forsaken reason she was walking down the children’s aisle in the Torture Store and what did she see? Bubbles. So of course she got this BRILLIANT idea that she could get some photos of us looking at bubbles. Wouldn’t that just be so special? Right.

So she makes the purchase – which is more than a dollar. Of course it is. And she brings it home. And I get the first round. But before we go out, my human ties up my hair so I won’t miss a single bubble. Outside we go. I am so revved up because I think we are going to play retrieving. Not quite. The bubbles are excitedly dispersed. And they fly everywhere. And I just stand there. And I don’t pay the LEAST bit of attention to the bubbles. I am looking for the retrieving toys. Again the bubbles are dispersed with the excited human voice repeating: “What’s that Viktor?”. All dogs know that voice. The one humans use when attempting a photo. I don’t pay any attention. Bubbles are repeatedly dispersed. Over and over. Now I become interested. In the bubble wand. Who cares about the ridiculous soapy orbs. A few convoluted shots are taken. And my bubble photo shoot ends. And the next bubble subject is brought out. I’m not sure how it was possible for Frodo to pay LESS attention to the bubbles. But he did. The photo attempts didn’t last long. The last subject was Bucket Head. All hopes were pinned on the dog that obsesses over dust particles in the air. And drumroll….no luck with the big guy either. He just took off and peed on a new plant.

So that was it for the bubbles. Money well-spent. PLEASE tell me they don’t sell kites at the Dollar Store. Or snorkeling equipment…

Bubble bloopers….

This would be a great shot- if I was actually LOOKING at the bubble

My opinion about bubbles

PONderson Cooper. And Ronald Trump.

July 11, 2015Leave a Comment

PONderson Cooper interviews Ronald Trump From PNN (The PON News Network)

Cooper: So, Mr. Trump, I understand you are running for President.

Trump: Yes, PONderson, I have lots of money. I can do anything,

Cooper: So Mr. Trump, what’s your opinion on unlicensed dogs?

Trump: Unlicensed dogs are a danger to the public. As well, certain breeds should probably be banned as well.

Cooper: But Mr. Trump, the research shows that it is OWNERS, and not specific breeds that are bad.

Trump: Is that what the research says? Well I don’t know anything about that. Besides, I can pay someone to do other research. I have lots of money.

Cooper: So what would you do about all the unlicensed dogs and certain breeds?

Trump: I would build a HUGE kennel so they could never get out. And I would make their owners pay for it.

Cooper: Mr Trump are you aware that Jeb Brush once signed legislation in Florida allowing dogs in restaurants?

Trump: He did? I don’t know about that. In fact, I don’t know what most of the other candidates did. But I DO know something. I have lots of money. Did I mention that before?

Cooper: Yes. Yes you did… Mr. Trump – do you have a dog?

Trump: No. But I can get one. I have lots of money. I can buy any dog I want.

Cooper: Are you aware that every President since Theodore Roosevelt has had a dog?

Trump: Really? OK. I must get one. PONderson, what breed are you?

Cooper: I’m a Polish Lowland Sheepdog Mr. Trump. And I’m very intelligent. VERY intelligent. Perhaps a bit TOO intelligent for you I‘m afraid…