October 2014 – Page 3 – Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

Let’s talk fashion.

October 5, 2014Leave a Comment

So yesterday morning began like most. We all got up after tormenting our human to get out of bed. It is the weekend – and she was begging for an extra 15 minutes of sleep (which we DID allow) – but then the continual jumping on and off the bed by all three of us boys finally forced her to get up. Works every time.

Frodo barked on and off while Mom was getting dressed to take us for our morning walk, which he pretty much does every day – despite Mom’s “requests” to stop. Then we all had breakfast. And then Mom came out of the garage with something in her hand. Ordinarily, Frodo and I are racing for the door – but one look at what Mom had in her hand – and Frodo ran to hide under the dining room table. As if she can’t see him there. And just WHAT did Mom have in her hand that put such fear in Frodo?! Two raincoats.

In a previous blog I talked about our lack of enthusiasm for rain – so today this blog will focus on a different topic. Fashion.

Let’s talk about raincoats. While I actually think that wearing a raincoat makes me look rather dashing, Frodo is appalled. And I THINK I know why. It all has to do with color and fit and CHOICE.

When humans shop for OUR attire, they rarely take us along to pick what WE like. At least that doesn’t happen in our house. It might have something to do with the fact that when we go into those pet stores that sell clothing, our brains explode because we are SURROUNDED by toys and TREATS and FOOD – and we can’t stand still long enough to try on a coat. As a result, we don’t ALWAYS get the attire WE prefer. And I THINK that may be Frodo’s issue….

Fashion is personal and it should fit well. However, our Mom is NOT the best at picking sizes – so we basically have three size coats in our house – a medium, a large and an extra large. Obviously, Bucket Head, er Paxton gets the extra large in a cool green color. He actually could use the jumbo size, but they don’t make them that big. I am the youngest – so I get the medium -which fits me perfectly. However, if I put on a pound or two, I’m in trouble. My coat is a beautiful cobalt blue. But Frodo – he gets the large – which is clearly too big on him. Way too big. We all know that fashion can make you feel good. But how can you feel good if you are wearing a plaid coat that looks like it was from the 70’s, and it’s too big for you? And THAT is Frodo’s problem. No wonder he hides under the table.

I won’t go into our winter weather attire just yet. The winter attire was purchased on the internet….Trust me – you WILL enjoy THAT blog. I can hardly WAIT for the first snow…..and in the meantime, I’ve been surfing the net for a new raincoat for Frodo.

Me? Stubborn?

October 4, 2014Leave a Comment

Do you know what my Mom said to me today? She said “Viktor.” (In a tone that does NOT mean I am about to receive an extra treat). She said “Viktor, when you look up the word “stubborn” in the dictionary, there is a picture of you!”

OK, I admit it. I CAN be just a little bit stubborn. Well…actually I can be a LOT stubborn. I wonder if it’s a PON thing – because even Conrad, er Frodo can be stubborn. But we are stubborn about different things – which makes life very interesting for our Mom. For example, Frodo does NOT like to be in any other room than where my Mom is. And just TRY and keep him from getting to her. One time, he was out in a large pen, and he chewed through 6 bungee cords that were securing the door – to get out. That’s either stubborn or persistent. Actually I like the sound of persistent rather than stubborn. Actually I think I’ll call it stubsistent.

As for me, well I am stubsistent when it comes to sitting and waiting for my food bowl. All three of us boys know the drill. We sit in our places while Mom gets our food dishes ready. We are told to “sit and stay.” And I know what those words mean. But every other day or so, I try and sneak to see if the food is coming. When Mom sees me, she gives me the “look” and I sit down. Sometimes. Sometimes I just stand and stare at her. Then she tells me to sit. And I stand and stare. She again says sit. And I stand and stare. Then she feeds Frodo and Paxton. And THEN I quickly sit. Mom calls it stubborn. I call it the doggie slot machine game. Sometimes Mom gets the behavior she is looking for – just like a win on a slot machine. And then sometimes, well, she just doesn’t win. It’s that intermittent reinforcement that we dogs have to give our humans – just to keep them on their toes. They call it stubborn. I call it clever…very clever. Or stubsistent.

Rules…

October 1, 2014Leave a Comment

Today’s topic will be rules. Humans seem to be full of them. No begging at the table. No jumping on people. No racing up and down the stairs. When humans are on them. Clinging to the banister. No stealing off the counters. No chasing the neighbor’s grandkids in circles. No chewing the carpet. Or each other’s ears. No sleeping on the bed…

But there are several things that come into play with rules:

1. We canines are more clever than humans give us credit for.

2. Rules are meant to be broken.

Since there are three of us boys in the household – and Paxton is so big he could almost count for two dogs…Mom says we can’t sleep on the bed. But I have two ways around this “rule.” Option number one is to play dead. Sneak up on the bed when your human is not in the room – like I did the other night while Mom was brushing her teeth before bed. And I got all comfy, cozy on the bed – in fact – here I am.

Then when Mom came in, I played dead. She said I should get down. I didn’t move. She said “Viiiiiiiiiiiiktor” in that tone that means, Viktor you NEED to get down. I didn’t move. And she then said it again, a little more loudly. I didn’t move. So then she tried to pick me up. And I didn’t move. And I let myself go totally limp. Unfortunately, the dead routine did not succeed because she DID lift me up and put me on the floor. Frodo just looked at me and rolled his eyes and said “WHEN will you learn?”

But that still left Option two. The trick is to wait until your human is sound asleep. And then you oh-so-gently, get up on the bed. Which works PERFECTLY. I waited until I was sure my Mom was asleep. I carefully climbed up and was juuuuuuust about to fall asleep, when Bucket Head decided to join me. So much for “oh-so-gently.” Seriously, it was like the bed was hit by an earthquake. And then Frodo – Mr. “I follow rules” decided to join in. Well suffice to say, we were all banished back to the floor.

So now I need to come up with an Option three. And I’m sure I will. In the meantime, I’m looking at starting a doggie union to deal with all these rules. I’ve already got a call in to my lawyer…