October 2014 – Page 2 – Viktorsviews. The Next Chapter.

Barking…

October 19, 2014Leave a Comment

Today, let’s talk about barking. Humans talk. And so do we.

A quick search of the internet reveals that dogs have a variety of barks for a variety of things. No doubt a number of people have done PhD dissertations on the topic and spent years researching dogs. All they needed to do was spend one day at our house and we could have saved them a whole lot of time. And grant funding.

We have a variety of barks – as do all dogs – but what is key is WHEN we use each bark. For example, Frodo has an incessant BrrrrrrrARK. … BrrrrrrARK….. BrrrrrARK that he uses for a variety of things. The first thing every morning, while my human is putting in her contact lenses – so she can see to take us on our walk – Frodo will stand outside the bathroom door and BrrrrrrARK. To which my human will reply from within the bathroom “Frodo BE quiet.” Which of course he doesn’t. She comes out and he stops and then she goes to get our food – which is stored in the garage. As soon as she closes the garage door to get the food, Frodo starts again. To which my human will reply from within the garage “Frodo BE quiet.” Which of course he doesn’t. Sometimes she will stand on the other side of the door and wait for him to bark and throws the door open to surprise him and tells him to be quiet. He does. For a second. Until she goes back in the garage. Then he waits until he is SURE she isn’t standing on the other side of the door, and starts the BrrrrARK again.

Another kind of bark is the BARK-BARK-BARK-BARK-BAAAAAAAARRRRRK that we all do in unison to signal an intruder. A delivery man. The neighbor’s grandkids selling raffle tickets for school. Friends of my human. Rabbits. This bark is also particularly interesting to use either at 2:30 in the morning or as soon as we hear our human step into the shower – for no REAL reason.

Paxton also has an interesting WOOF. WOOF. WOOF. He does it to get attention – and for a big guy, he does it pretty quietly. At least that’s how it starts. It begins with a tiny woof and proceeds to a bigger WOOF if my human doesn’t pay attention.

As for me – well I have a crazy bark when I’m let out with the guys for a run. It’s a borderline LOUD yappy bark in which I am telling them that if they were sheep, I would be telling them where to go. It is also incessant. Although, IF my human brings out the artillery (a squirt gun) I CAN control myself.

We probably have other barks – but those are the barks we use the most. Now if there are any PhD students out there who need subjects, just give me a call. And we’ll talk.

Intelligence…

October 18, 2014Leave a Comment

Well, my human did a really interesting one this time…

Someone told her about a TV show featuring some guy that sounds like PONderson Cooper – who did a dogumentary about the intelligence of dogs. They showed this border collie who has like 1,000+ words that he understands. I’m not sure what all the hoopla is about – heck I understand 1,2,3,4,5…6…6…7…8…8….8….wait 9… OK. So that dog knows a whole lot of words. And he even understands something called verbs – which makes him REALLY smart. I’m just impressed with the HUGE pile of toys he has – and he knows all the names. I bet if I had ALL THOSE TOYS, I could be super smart too. Just sayin’.

Anyway, after my human watched the show, she went to the website of the scientists on the show and found out that if you paid them some money, they would give you a bunch of exercises to test the intelligence of your dog. So you guessed it- my human HAD to do it. But she decided she would just test ONE of us. So who do you think she picked?!!!!!! FRODO! She figured he had the most brains in the family so she registered him. And then the testing began…

Almost every night this past week for about a half hour, she and Frodo went into the bedroom with a bunch of treats and with the door shut – and did a bunch of exercises. Initially she tried to do it with Pax and I watching – but you can GUESS how THAT went. Chaos. We wanted the treats. So after that, the testing was solitary. Pax and I just looked at each other – and we WERE just a LITTLE ticked off that Frodo was getting treats for doing nothing. Never mind that we had each been outside playing with our human before that. And we also got treats. I think we forgot that part. Clearly we would not have scored highly on the memory part of the test.

So last night, they finished the last test – and got the final results. Drumroll please….

Here is the summary directly from the Dognition test:

Frodo is a Socialite!

It’s hard work making everything look so easy. In a culture obsessed with academic achievement, sometimes it is easy to overlook the fact that gracefully interacting and communicating with others requires talent. In Frodo’s case, he takes this talent to a whole new level – it is definitely his genius.

Although Frodo is not as adept at independent problem-solving skills as other dogs, don’t jump to any conclusions about his intelligence. Frodo relies on a very specific strategy – using you and other humans in his pack to get what he wants. Judging from his performance in the social games, we suspect that most of the time this strategy succeeds.

Seriously???????????? Do you see that?! Frodo – a SOCIALITE??????!!!!! Mister “I- want-to-be-alone” and “don’t-come-on-my-property – or-I-will-bark-you-to-death” – is considered a SOCIALITE?!!! And they don’t consider him a problem solver?! PONdini? The guy who can figure his way out of ANY enclosed area??????

My human got a 14 page report summarizing the results of each subtest area – Empathy (in which Frodo scored high – go figure), Communication (which was also high), Cunning (average), Memory and Reasoning (both average). She thought that some of the test results may have been skewed by the fact that Frodo is obedience trained. That may sound weird but she figured that Frodo responded to some of the tasks based on his previous training exercises. One thing my human agreed with was the following statement: “…Frodo can read you like a book. Maybe he seems to know where you are going before you do.” Now THAT is the truth.

So I’m not so sure about all this intelligence testing stuff. As I have already talked about, we canines are clearly more intelligent than humans in so many ways. I think these results are about as believable as the weather forecast. Mind you, I AM kind of hoping that my human will do it with me – because I sure would love the treats!

Hairy Tales

October 16, 20141 Comment

Never a dull moment in our house…

The other day I started to panic – I looked at Paxton and started to worry that he had something wrong with him (besides the usual). It’s crazy – he is shedding his hair. I mean losing it. My human calls it “blowing his coat” – I call it global fallout. He has HUGE tufts of hair sticking out all over. And when my human brushes him – it flies all over. When you brush us PONs, the hair doesn’t go everywhere – and there may just be a little on the brush. With Paxton, it’s on the brush – and EVERYWHERE else. Crack open an egg, and you’ll find Paxton hair. And the vacuuming that is going on! It’s like we are living next to an airport – the sound of the engine never stops. And when my human DOES stop and puts away the vacuum, 10 seconds later, a black hairball the size of a Papillon rolls by.

My human actually has to brush him outside. And she puts the hair in the compost bin. She practically FILLED the bin yesterday. Now she’s afraid that the garbage guy will have a heart attack when he looks in – he might think it’s a bear.

And speaking of hair…I got a bit of a scolding about hair the other day…You see, I sometimes like to “trim” the hair on my legs. No. I don’t have allergies. No. I don’t lick my feet. I’m just into self-barbering. My human noticed my legs one day when she was brushing me– and it looked like someone had taken scissors and cut some of the hair in straight lines. And just on my back legs. She thought it was REALLY odd …

And THEN she decided to brush Frodo…..And my human noticed….that the same straight lines were on Frodo. On his EARS. Which CLEARLY, he could NOT have done himself. OK. OK. I confess. I was tired of self-barbering – and wanted to try my craft on someone else! I didn’t dare try it on Paxton – because I would have landed up with a MOUTHFUL of hair.

We have a HUGE assortment of toys and things to chew on when my human goes to work – and we do get PLENTY of exercise. And my “trimming” is not a constant thing – my legs aren’t bare or anything. And my skin is FINE. I just like to BARBER. Sometimes. Plain and simple.

I just WISH my human would give me an electric razor so I could take care of Paxton’s shedding once and for all.

A Treasury…

October 15, 2014Leave a Comment

Well well. It seems that I have another issue with humans and your vocabulary…

My human was talking to a friend the other day and the friend was asking how old I was. WELL – I am very excited because I will be celebrating my third birthday at the end of THIS month. I’m beginning to plan for the big event – a small parade and fireworks will be the order of the day. If I can convince my human. But more on that later.

Anyway, in the course of the discussion, my human’s friend asked how many puppies were in my litter. My litter. My LITTER.?! OK. I take offense to that word. Seriously, WHY are puppies (and kittens for that matter) associated with a word that means the same as garbage?! Just WHO thought THAT one up?! Yeah – I know it is also used with other mammals – but seriously humans – you couldn’t come up with something ELSE?! If you HAD to use a word that was already in existence – why not something like a “treasury”. I like the sound of that. A treasury of puppies. And it fits – partly because we ARE such treasures – and partly because we cost so much over our lifetime!! Who do I talk to about getting that changed?!!

Speaking of “treasures” – Bucket Head was at it again yesterday. While Frodo and I were out on our morning walk with our human, Paxton got in trouble. As SOON as my human walked in the door, she KNEW he had done something. We walked in and his ears were all inside out. A sure sign he has done SOMETHING. He would NOT be a good poker player. Yup. He stole a screwdriver off the counter – a big one that had multiple tips. My human never guessed he would take it – the thing was pretty heavy. With Paxton’s handiwork, the tips don’t pop out any more. Paxton got the “WHAT did you DO?” line – and he looked ashamed for all of about 5 seconds and then got all excited because it was his turn to go for a walk. Too bad he chewed the screwdriver – because he clearly has a few screws loose! Did I ever mention that my human is very patient? VERY patient.

Oh and by the way, there were 10 puppies in my treasury. Talk about needing patience….

And I can’t say when my birthday is – but this much I WILL tell you. It’s between October 26 and October 28. I am soooo excited.

Travel photos.

October 14, 2014Leave a Comment

The other day, was a gorgeous day, and it was clear my human was going somewhere. Imagine my delight when she opened the car door – and I was able to fly in. Hurray! We’re going for a CAR RIDE. But WAIT – I’m alone with my human – and Frodo and Paxton are not coming with us. Uh oh. It must mean…a trip…to the VET. I mean I rarely go somewhere without the bros…unless it’s the VET.

But no – it was Sunday and we weren’t headed for the Vet’s office. Hmmmmm…

After 2 days – in dog time (which is more like 30 minutes in human time) we arrived at our destination. A well-known tourist site in Nova Scotia called Peggy’s Cove. It’s a small fishing village with a pretty lighthouse. And we were NOT alone.

The rocky shores were COVERED with tourists. From EVERYWHERE. The parking lot was full of cars and buses. It seems my human had agreed to write an article about visiting Nova Scotia– and she thought it would be great if I would be in the photos. That was HER idea.

Remember my post about digital PONtography? Well, it’s bad enough if my human is begging us for a good photo when we are in the confines of our own property – but imagine the challenge of doing so in a very busy public place. Top that off with gale force winds.

For the first attempt at the photos, my human asked me to sit and stay on the rocks – with a view of the sea in the distance. She then proceeded to call my name. “Viktor. Viktor. VIKTOR. VIIIIIIIKTOR. Here. Look. Treats. Viktor. Sssssssssss. Bzzzzzz. Squeak.” She tried EVERYTHING possible to make me look at her – short of jumping up and down. She even waved tasty, smelly treats under my nose. But nope. I was practicing picnore (v. the action of turning away and ignoring your human when he/she is trying to take your picture) . My human’s begging went on for what seemed like a day (in dog time) and at one point my human (who was SO absorbed in trying to get the photo) looked up to see a line of tourists watching the two of us. She smiled and thought we should move to another location.

In each location, I continued to practice picnore. I would look to the right. And then to the left. I looked up. I looked down. And everywhere we went, someone stopped to see what we were doing. They all thought I was cute. And they all wanted to know what kind of dog I was. My human muttered “stubborn” under her breath – and then went on to tell them about PONs. They loved me. Go figure.

In the end, I DID give in and give her a FEW shots – although I wasn’t pleased with the results because the wind made a MESS of my hair. After about 4 days, we ambled back to the car and once in, I happily stared and stared at my human. Thanks for a fun afternoon – and for providing those tourists with some great entertainment. Don’t I just love training humans?!

On being thankful…

October 12, 20141 Comment

This is a special weekend. It’s a three-day weekend in Canada and the US. Which means some of our humans have an extra day to spend with us – and the alarm clock might be turned off on Monday morning. But don’t worry – we’ll still get them up on time.

In the US, people are celebrating Columbus Day. That’s the day some Italian guy found the “New World.” The world was here before he was – and so were other people – but Columbus gets the credit. But who is going to argue with an extra day off?!

In Canada, the holiday is called Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a day to celebrate the harvest – and all the good things that happened in the past year. So I think it’s important to share some of the things that I am grateful for…

· My food bowl. Especially when it is full.

· My water bowl. Drinking out of puddles is fine – but clean water IS better.

· The lovely collars our human buys for us. It doesn’t matter that you can’t see them with all of our hair – they are still very nice!

· Car rides – except when we are going to the vet.

· Doorbells – which alert us to a new victim for our bad-mannered jumping.

· Our human’s bed. Which we TECHNICALLY are not allowed on – but where we sneak many nights…

· Belly rubs and ear scratches.

· Toys. To play with. And sometimes to destroy.

· Rabbits. To chase.

· Bananas. Carrots. And ANY kind of treat!

· The ability to bark. To warn of an intruder (like those foxes), to request a treat – or simply to welcome the dawn of a new day!

· Sunny days. To play outside.

· Snowy days. To play outside.

· Windy days. To smell good things. And to play outside.

· Rainy days. To wear my favorite, lovely, well-fitting, cobalt blue coat.

· Frodo and Paxton. Who said I had to put them on this list. But they don’t know – I would have put them on the list anyway!

· The colorful leaves in the fall. Which go flying every which way when I am retrieving my toys.

· The stars when we go out at night for our last pee before bed.

· That moment when we hear our human’s car coming home…

· My human…

· And finally… you- for taking time to read my BLOG!

Happy Thanksgiving – no matter WHERE you live!

A PONderson Cooper interview…

October 10, 20141 Comment

Hi everyone. It’s PONderson Cooper from PNN (PON News Network) and today I will interview my “other brother” – Paxton, the Bernese Mountain Dog.

Viktor: Hello Paxton, how are you today.

Paxton: Frodo told me that I will get extra biscuits if I do this interview. Is that correct? And DON’T call yourself PONderson Cooper.

Viktor: Yeah. Yeah. Now please just answer my questions…

Paxton: Fire away bro.

Viktor: So what is it like to be a Bernese Mountain Dog?

Paxton: What an interesting question….Well, I’ve never been a Chihuahua or a PON – so it’s not like I can make a comparison. Mind you I LIVE with you two PONs so I guess I DO have something to compare. Being in the minority in this house is QUITE a unique experience…

Viktor: Just tell me what Bernese Mountain Dogs are like, OK? Can you do that?

Paxton: Chill bro. OK, it’s GREAT to be a Bernese Mountain Dog. We are big, we like people and other dogs, we like to eat – all kinds of things – we like drafting…

Viktor: Drafting? Does that have something to do with beer?

Paxton: No bro. Drafting is pulling a cart.

Viktor: Cool! And why do you draft?

Paxton: We were originally farm dogs. We would pull carts to the market. And we would guard our farms and drive cattle.

Viktor: YOU have a drivers license??!!!! What kind of car do you have?!!!! Can you take me to the mall later?

Paxton: Not THAT kind of driving bro. Driving as in moving cattle around.

Viktor: You move cattle?! I move sheep! I probably could move cattle – actually ANYTHING that sees ME coming would move. Away. Fast.

Paxton: I thought this interview was supposed to be about ME.

Viktor: Oh right. So. You like to go in the lake. Why do you do that?

Paxton: That’s a simple one. To get away from you and Frodo. You guys don’t like the water. So I walk out a short distance in the water and sit on a big rock. And you two stand on the shore, watching me. And you won’t come out there. It’s my Zen place.

Viktor: OK. So. What’s it like to live with two PONs?

Paxton: Seriously? You want to know? Well let’s just put it this way – it’s a good thing I have a SUPER temperament. When Frodo came along, I was quite happy – he’s a quiet, low key kind of guy. Life was good. And then….you came along….and life has never been the same…

Viktor: So I am a life-changer!

Paxton: That’s one way of putting it…But I have managed to train you to help me shred things – and we DID have that day that we destroyed the dog bed. You started it and I helped.

Viktor: No. I think YOU started it and I helped.

Paxton: Whatever. Good times…

Viktor: Can I lick your face now?

Paxton: No. Just pass the biscuits.

The badness spree.

October 9, 2014Leave a Comment

Uh oh. Our human just arrived back from a trip to the airport. She has no suitcase and she is alone. It appears the badness spree is over.

You see, for the last 5 days we have had company. An old friend of our human’s from university came to visit her here in Nova Scotia all the way from Texas. And for the last 5 days we have been, how can I put this, on our almost worst behavior. I think it was the full moon. But no matter what the cause -it was a badness spree.

Our human’s friend, thankfully LOVES dogs and she is SUPER nice– but quite honestly, we used that to our advantage. We jumped on her, we attempted to steal things, we bolted through doors, we begged – we broke ALL the rules. Kind of like a bad child at the grocery store. Our human was MORTIFIED – but her friend did not mind one bit and even laughed at our antics. Which egged us on more. Paxton slobbered her pants. And after a short walk, Paxton and I even ran away. But we DID come back. It was total PONdemonium.

Now despite our less than desirable behavior, we DID have a FEW moments of goodness. And she even commented how good we were. That’s because those few moments were in such contrast to our bad moments. And when she was leaving she gave each of us a hug and said how much she would miss us and she WOULD love to come back. Clearly she enjoyed the entertainment.

When our human returned from the airport, we quickly looked at each other and said uh-oh. Busted. Back to the obedience lessons. Hey – anyone want to come for a visit??!

What’s in a Name?

October 8, 2014Leave a Comment

So the other day, my human was talking to someone and she said something about us PONs doing something. Her friend said “PON?” “What’s a PON?”

OK, we PONs know that P.O.N. comes from Polski Owczarek Nizinny – the Polish words for Polish Lowland Sheepdog. In an almost English sounding translation – polskee ahv char-ek ni szhinee. Clearly, PON is easier! But honestly, while I am very proud of my Polish heritage, I’m wondering who thought up our nickname. I mean think about it – many, many breeds have shortened versions of their names that…well…are kinda easy to figure out. Dobermans are sometimes called Dobes, Labrador Retrievers are Labs, Golden Retrievers are Goldens, Shetland Sheepdogs are Shelties, Bernese Mountain Dogs are Berners, Saint Bernards are Saints, Keeshonds are Kees, Scottish Terriers are Scotties, Yorkshire Terriers are Yorkies…the list goes on. So why aren’t we Polies? Or Pols?? Really why not? Wouldn’t that be easy? We’re clever dogs – who thought this up?

Mind you…then I guess if all dogs’ names were shortened then Airedale terriers would be Airies, Beagles would be Beas, Boxers would be Boxes, Pointers would be Points, Poodles would be Poos… and Shih tzus would be….OK. Maybe this shortening idea isn’t such a good one after all.

I AM thinking though, that it would be nice if our human knew a few words in Polish. She does know a couple – like “Good Morning” – which she rarely uses with us when we jump repeatedly on the bed – and “sit” – which we pretend not to know. Beyond that, although her grandmother tried to teach her some Polish, her repertoire is pretty limited. I mean we’ll still keep her but I do think that if she did speak to us in Polish, we would be much, much better behaved…

So for all those people who are wondering what PON means – now you know. It’s different than other nicknames. But then so are we. And you know – now that I think about it…we ARE very unique – and I’m thinking we should keep PON after all….

Digital PONtography

October 8, 2014Leave a Comment

So today our topic will be digital PONtography.

Taking pictures of us canine kids can be a real challenge – and my human knows all about it. Let me begin with a little story…

A couple of years ago, our human had a VERY nice digital camera. And she had this “great idea.” She set the camera up on a tripod and was going to get a photo of all three of us boys and her in a timed release photo. She told us to sit and stay, hit the shutter and raced over to where we were sitting and sat on the ground with us. Of course we all got excited and we all got up. Photo number one – no good. She tried it again. Same result. This time she tried it with some treats. But we all looked at the treats instead of the camera. After about the 24^th try, we FINALLY stayed in place. BUT this time, after the shutter went off – we all raced for the camera. And BOOM. It hit the ground.

The man at the camera store told our human that it would cost more to fix it than buy a new camera.

After that, our human began to take ALL of our photos on an iPhone – and she still does that today. But to get a photo like the one you see here involves quite a bit of a monologue on her part – that goes something like this…..” Paxton sit. Frodo sit. Viktor sit. Everybody sit. Stay. Staaaay. Viktor sit. Waiiiiiiiit. Look here. Look. Viktor sit. Staaaaaaaaaay. Staaaaaaaay. Viktor sit. Paxton. Paxton. PAXTON. Viktor sit. Look here. Treats! Treats! Viktor sit. Good boy Frodo. Who’s coming? Viktor sit. PLEASE EVERYBODY SIT!!!!!!!!!!”

Our neighbors – who actually live a good distance away can no doubt hear this whole thing – as our human gets louder and LOUDER as the photo shoot goes on.

Eventually we all look at her and smile – just to get this photo shoot finished. Seriously, all she needed to do was say “cheese.”

Remember what I said before about us canines being superior to humans? I rest my case.